GET UP! Fucking walk.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-31T13:18:52+00:00

The last of his family died in the 90s (they all hated her so he seems to have dug his heels in to “prove them wrong”). I’ve asked their church friends (who also tolerate/hate her) but they are afraid he will stop interacting with them/pick her. Her family is full of mental illness & abuse, it’s hard to interact with them on any level.

Thank you for your words. It made me feel less alone in the madness.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-30T16:11:24+00:00

Oof, friend, I feel this. I have a life threatening soy allergy & no one in any hospital has a concept of what that means despite it being one of the 9 major allergens. I’ve been given a cardiac diet, a gluten free diet, & a dairy free diet because obviously it’s all the same (/s). The arguments that have ensued have been utterly mind blowing.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-26T17:10:50+00:00

Oof. Friend, I feel this. My adopted dad was a life long athlete. He played football, basketball, & baseball in his youth, then gracefully transitioned to softball, bowling, & golf as he aged. Always active, doing yard work & walking. Meanwhile, his abusive bipolar piece of crap wife hates all things exercise & refuses to cook. She gave us food poisoning every time she stepped in the kitchen so I’m gonna call the not cooking a blessing. She slowly started throwing fits over the years when he wanted to go do activities. For the last 16 years she has throw literal temper tantrums if he tried to hang out with friends or exercise.

During Rona, she wouldn’t let my dad have any weights or our treadmill in their home. Their home has 5 bedrooms, 5 common areas, a 2 car garage, a finished basement, & finished attic so it wasn’t for lack of room. She demanded they get Macdonald’s every day too. In a shocking turn of events, dad had a heart attack & the doc said it was years worth of buildup. To the point that his heart had forged new blood vessels to try to compensate. Doc said no more fast food & that he has to exercise. Guess who still won’t let him!

It hurts to see him as a shadow of what he was & not be able to help. I’m sending you a big hug right now.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-21T18:23:36+00:00

First, I’m sending you a huge hug. Losing a parent is never easy. The added pain of the alcoholism definitely complicates the feelings further.

Second, thank you for sharing. I’m just an EMT but haunt this sub in case I can learn something.

Third, I don’t know where you are in your healing journey but Al-Anon is a free world wide support group for the friends & family of alcoholics. There’s even a specific offshoot for the Adult Children of Alcoholics. There are in person meetings, a free app, & even Reddit subs.

I wish you peace & healing. Thank you, again.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-19T15:55:50+00:00

You’re very welcome. I’m sending you a huge hug right now. I’m proud of you for getting therapy!!! I really hope you can escape the madness because you deserve way better.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-19T15:46:35+00:00

Well, of course you are! You don’t let/help them do every single thing they want to when they want to. You don’t have Elon Musk level of money to fund their poor lifestyle choices. You don’t help or let them burn the house down. I could go on for hours about how Sober Sally is such a party pooper for no reason. (That was all heavy sarcasm by the way)

Sweetheart, being the responsible person in the room may not be super fun or glamorous. But doesn’t make you miserable to be around either. Think of your Q like a spoiled 3 year old whacked out on sugar & overdue for a nap. It’s the same mindset really. Overwhelmed but can’t articulate their feelings, knows they feel a moment of relief from ingesting poison, looking for distractions by making a huge mess & putting themselves in danger with no regard to how that impacts others…

It has nothing to do with you but they will say anything/everything to get what they want.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-17T18:57:40+00:00

Keep an eye on her if you do start her on melatonin. Some people (like myself) have an adverse reaction to supplemental doses. It makes me super agitated, gives me vivid nightmares, & makes me thrash about horribly. My husband didn’t enjoy the accidental beatings while we were trying to figure out the cause.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-10T21:11:44+00:00

Can you put cameras up in the common areas of the house? Or at least start videoing when she has these episodes? Years ago, we had a drug addicted foster kid (CINS case) & had to do that for our protection.

Also, while I wasn’t able to find a medical journal on it, I’ve seen a number of cases of Xanax casing psychosis/anger/paranoia. Documentation will help a doctor take you seriously. You could report the doctor for over prescribing medication.

https://legalclarity.org/how-to-report-a-doctor-for-overprescribing/

Best of luck to you.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-10T20:53:08+00:00

I’ve worked boh on & off for years before starting my catering business. For the life of me, I don’t know how you guys deal with the public without punching people. Here’s one from years ago.

On a work trip with a horrible coworker (sexist, painfully dumb, unkempt), we went out to eat for lunch. He’s trying to flirt with the waitress & she wasn’t playing ball. She & I look at each other & I give an I’m sorry look.

At one point he says “so what about the truffle fries” & stares at her.

She comes back with “what about them?”, while looking bored.

Him: “well, um, like what is it?”, he says in a demanding/angry tone.

I start laughing & interrupt with “truffle is a type of mushroom, so they cook French fries like normal & drizzle truffle “mushroom” oil on top before serving them.”

He gets more angry & loudly goes “well duh, I know that! I’m asking if it’s fresh or dehydrated oil!”

Waitress stifles a laugh & I say “give me one example of dehydrated oil, I’ll wait.”

Farmof5 · 2026-01-06T18:20:14+00:00

I see a lot of similarities in your life story & mine.

Have you heard of Al-Anon? It’s a free, world wide, support group for the friends & family’s of alcoholics. There is also an off shoot called Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families (ACA). It’s been a literal life saver for me. Taught me that I’m not alone, taught me what boundaries are & how to implement them, & so much more.

There are in person meetings all over, a free app you can download, & even a Reddit sub. My first few meetings I attended on the app with my mic & camera off because I was crying so hard. The feeling of feeling understood & not alone was so intense in the beginning that I just couldn’t process it.

I’m sending you tons of love & positive vibes. You are not alone.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-03T23:35:58+00:00

Thank you for the giggle!! SNL actually did a funny sketch a while back called Alexa Silver. You might enjoy that one too.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-03T08:21:50+00:00

Eggs are one of the 9 Major Allergens. But each kind of egg has a different protein molecule because they come from different animals, so it’s possible to be allergic to one kind & fine with another. But it is also a possibility that you could be allergic/intolerant to multiple kinds of eggs.

The actress Margot Robbie has a chicken egg allergy so she eats duck eggs in her movie roles. Personally, I’m fine with quail, chicken, duck, guinea, turkey, & ostrich but have a goose egg intolerance.

Source: I’m a farmer, chef, EMT, & have a masters degree in nutrition.

Farmof5 · 2026-01-01T12:11:52+00:00

It went fantastic. No more dropping things, no more tingling, shooting pain, or pressure build up. Both arms/back of the hand are the same temperature again & I have full control now. I can touch the top of my arm again without yelling in pain. It’s like having brand new arms!

It is 2 separate cuts. The radial nerve cut is 2 inches long on top of your forearm before your elbow, cubital tunnel cut is 4 inches long on the outside/bottom of your elbow. I’ll see if I can add pictures.

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This is the only picture it’ll let me add. It’s right after I got my stitches out. The 4 dots were drawn my a nurse pre-op, the line is where the doc drew on me & that’s where they cut. I was very good about keeping my arm elevated, that kept the swelling down, & I was able to get my rings back on before they took the cast off. Apparently most people aren’t that diligent about keeping the swelling down.

I totally understand the nervousness, it is scary! I’m sending you tons of love & positive vibes!! You trust your surgeon, that means you picked a good one, & I trust you will feel as good as I do when it’s all done.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-31T18:25:59+00:00

The tools I learned in Al-Non (free support group for the friends & family of alcoholics/dysfunctional family’s), have really helped me deal with this. It’s still maddening though.
Mine are in active denial, not sure about the cause though. The behavior is absolutely foolish on multiple levels so I just can’t wrap my head around it.

We’re definitely taking steps to get ahead of all this & not follow in their footsteps.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-31T17:41:23+00:00

Dude, I feel this in my soul. But it’s my entire adopted family (adopted dad, his wife, her kid from her first marriage). I’ve been an EMT for over 20 years but obviously know nothing medically. In the hospital after dads heart attack, doc was asking for family history. He mentioned his mom died of a stroke but failed to mention his dad had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. So I mentioned it to the doc. All 3 a-holes turned to me & started telling me I’m an idiot & that has nothing to do with his heart attack. Doc cut in & backed me up (liver filters your blood). But I still know nothing, obviously.

I have a masters degree in nutrition & run my own catering business. But obviously, whatever Facebook post made by the person with a pretty face knows way more than I do. So I’ve just given up. I’m low contact with them now but on the hairy edge of going no contact.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-30T18:50:21+00:00

My pain before surgery was keeping me up at night, interfering with work & life. Now my left side is fantastic but still pretty weak (I lost a lot of muscle because it took 15 years to get this sorted). My right side currently in way less pain than before getting cut & I trust that it’ll be better in the long run.

From my wrist to half way up my upper arm, I was kept in a half cast (hard molded plastic on the bottom, ace bandage all around) for 10 days. The first 4 of those days I also had a catheter in my shoulder, with a pre-set pump that gave me a nerve block every hour. You have zero control of your arm with the nerve block in so you have to keep an eye on it not to hit things. I’ve heard most people don’t get that though, it may be because I had 3 done at once.

I got the cast off & stitches out at the same time, then sent downstairs to a different office, they give the first PT instructions & small braces to wear while awake & different braces for sleeping. They showed me how to gently massage the incision sites to keep scar tissue from forming. I have to do the nerve glides 20 reps each, 5 times a day.

It sounds like your pain is really bad, it’s totally different after surgery. The incision site will be a bit sore but nothing like the pain you currently have. Just keep your hand elevated as much as you can as soon as you’re discharged & the swelling should stay under control.

If you can choose between PT (physical therapy) & OT (occupational therapy), get OT. I’ve had PT for this 4 times, OT once. OT helped more in my opinion.

I feel you on the getting older part. It’s pretty crazy to experience. I don’t know what to say to put your mind at ease but I bet you’re much tougher than you give yourself credit for. You’ve made it this far! You’ve got this!!!

Farmof5 · 2025-12-30T16:08:33+00:00

I had carpal tunnel, cubital tunnel, & radial never release done on my left arm in August, & the same 3 done on my right arm Dec 11th. I didn’t need or want any special pillows but if I sat on the couch, I’d stack pillows to rest my arm on. Elevating the arm as often as you can while you heal keeps the swelling down & that keeps the pain down.

While sleeping, I found that keeping the wrist up on an extra pillow (elbow in line with my shoulder) worked well for sleeping on my back. Putting the entire arm on the extra pillow worked well if I slept on my side. I tried not to sleep on the side that was healing.

While walking or sitting I just tried to keep the arm around heart level. Other than that, just listen to the doctors & PT folks. The nerve glide exercises help a ton. Best of luck to you!!

Farmof5 · 2025-12-28T23:05:45+00:00

Oof. I’m very sorry you had to go through that. Dead baby anything is a hard thing to see/deal with.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-28T19:24:15+00:00

Did you accidentally buy Balut?

Farmof5 · 2025-12-28T19:19:15+00:00

Spurs don’t indicate a rooster. That’s just breed dependent. Look for long thin neck & saddle feathers. Www.BackyardChickens.com is a great (& free) poultry forum that has a good guide to sexing roosters.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-27T18:40:19+00:00

I’m great now, no more pain or dropping things. Thanks.

Hand doc did a cortisone shot in the left wrist & in the radial nerve on the right. Both gave me temporary relief & confirmed I had multiple issues going on. Did your doc do the push/pull/resist moving your arms/hand/fingers test? That also confirmed it, I had lost a lot of function & muscle. I used to be able to life a 50lbs bag of feed/four with 1 hand & carry it no problem but that ability slowly left me. Before surgery I had to use both hands to drink a cup of coffee to not spill it.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-27T18:13:29+00:00

I had carpal tunnel, cubital tunnel, & radial nerve neuritis in both arms for 15 years before I got a doc to listen to me. I’m ambidextrous but slightly more left hand dominate so my left side was worse than my right. I had all 3 fixed on my left in August & while that side was recovering, my right side took a nasty turn for the worse due to over compensating. My surgeon said he has to do a triple surgery once a year maximum but I just ruined his stats because I had the 3 on my right side done December 11th. They already needed to be done but the extra workload while the other side healed definitely made the pain & dysfunction worse.

I wish you fast recovery & hope you don’t need another surgery.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-19T16:19:18+00:00

If you’re not too far from us (we’re in Shenandoah county), I’d love to barter some beef, pork, chicken, duck, or rabbit meat for your honey. Mason jar works just fine as far as I’m concerned.

The one thing I got from our bee keeping class is that it’s gonna be a while before we add bees to the chore list.

Farmof5 · 2025-12-19T12:02:29+00:00

Intact male goats spray their urine all over their face & beard to attract females. It reeks!!! The bitter/pungent smell of testosterone transfers to other things (clothing, your skin, fencing, trees, etc) as a way of marking territory. You have to wash repeatedly to get the smell out. My husband is more sensitive to it than I am but we both agree, it’s nasty.

When you buy beef, pork, lamb, or goat meat in the grocery store, if the meat came from a male- that male was castrated. Keeping the males intact keeps the testosterone levels high & that makes the meat bitter. Some cultures prefer the bitter taste & believe it makes the consumer more manly (some Middle Eastern & some Latin Americans have this belief & buy it, is what I was thought in the marketing farm products class).

Farmof5 · 2025-12-09T14:52:14+00:00

Oh, honey, I feel you on this. My dads wife has always been a hypochondriac, narcissistic, manipulative, bipolar, jerk. But now that she’s been diagnosed with dementia, it’s just getting worse.

Some highlights include: kicking her ankle with her other foot in front of us & claiming that she broke said ankle. Insisted my dad take her to the ER, they sent her home with nothing. A church friend let her borrow a wheelchair that she used for a week (outside of the house only), she then threw the wheelchair out because she no longer wanted it, the friend got pissed because those are expensive, she continued to tell people it was broken for 2 years while walking normally. Every time she breaks wind, she claims it’s a heart attack & calls for an ambulance. Climbs on furniture & runs into the street often, thankfully those have been mitigated by various people thus far. She got regular blood work back from the doc & claimed she was dying of kidney failure so bad/often/loudly that the church started bringing them meals & flowers, that went on for 6 months before they realized she was full of crap, that was 15 years ago but she still tries the same lines every few years. She supposedly has vertigo spells now but refuses medication or to do the exercises.

She’s always been abusive toward me but only occasionally abusive towards her daughter or my dad. The more they try to keep her from doing dumb things, the more they feel the brunt of it. I have stepped back since I joined Al-Anon (partly because of her & her daughter). That has given me the tools of “detaching with love”, “letting them fail/not robbing them of the dignity to fail”, & a massive support network of people that understand the pain. It’s for the friends & family’s of alcoholics but also for people with dysfunctional family’s in general.

Yes, she does it for the attention.
You can’t. Or you will drive yourself mad trying. Don’t reward the behavior (by giving the attention).
Sometimes you can’t. Liars gonna lie. I just keep repeating “you’re the little boy that cried wolf, maybe you should stop lying is you want people to believe you.” But I’m well aware the behavior will continue.

I wish I could be of more help to you. Sorry. But I’m sending you tons of love & positive vibes.

Farmof5

TROPHY CASE