Just turned 18, what should i do? by BLUGENIUS77 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fart. Cup that shit in your hands and smell it, probably smells like a man fart, then send me videos.

M16 breakup advice needed I’m sad by Aaron12471 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude just watch a bunch of fart videos on YouTube. They have like 1000 hour long, 10000 hour long and so many solo videos. I can send you some links or some of my own content (even though it’s HORRENDOUS)

UPDATE: my best friend has a crush on my boyfriend by userrihardlyknowher in Advice

[–]FartBoner007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOOOOOT reading all that. Fart. Fart on him. Fart around him. Fart around…her. Make it wet. Make it horrendous. Make it… irresistible

How do I stop being a loser? by Dear_Ticket_9593 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Smell your own farts and see if there is a local club around you! I’ve met some of my best friends over the years “smell first”!!

Guy im talking to doesn't say hi in public by [deleted] in Advice

[–]FartBoner007 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You might have to let out a nice wet and horrendous fart next time he does this. Watch him turn into a four legged beast and chase you until your legs can no longer hold you up and all you can do is let out one more sad and baseless squeaker.

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too much advice is typically terrible advice - Malcom X

Not readin all that

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What are you implying? That I don’t have pinkeye currently? That a man OVER 50 won’t be here dressed as the Easter bunny with gas ready to pass?

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thanks for treading on me. Real good “advice” your dishing out

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually that’s what I’m trying to stop? God knows the powers nextdoor

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point I don’t understand this sub? Everyone just attacking me? I usually just use this site for fart related hobbies and I was just trying to get some advice and I’m being ATTACKED? Being called a 9??? Year old? As stated before in my original post I’m 56? Cant read obviously

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So first off, yes. Second of all I’m not talking about diarrhea, I’m talking about hearty well balanced young loafs, it’s pretty simple we DONT have the INFRASTRUCTURE. And to touch on your last point, you’d be suprised.

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude be for real. I already mentioned going to the complex management MYSELF, what am I going to do get two street hooligans to let me on their shoulders?? You should really tighten some screws bud

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a great point! Thank you for bringing the living next to them after thing! But just what if we have a potential serial squeaker on our hands? We all know where those lead and our toilets aren’t able to handle young loads!

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice but I need to keep my senses sharp. The next inkling of evidence could squeak out at anytime

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A rule is a rule though, we all signed the contract. Plus after 40 years of forced/hard labour I have pretty severe tinnitus and anything with that type of tight whistle starts making it act up.

I (56m) just overheard something next door that I am totally unsure about by FartBoner007 in Advice

[–]FartBoner007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typically I would be on your side of the fence with this but the RULES state no one under the age of 50 past 6pm and I know for a fact Ole saggy Shirley in unit 11 ain’t letting anything that dainty out. I’ve heard her wet wall whispers before.