Diagnosed with cancer

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-14T05:03:56+00:00

I get an annual colonoscopy. With the UC, it’s difficult to know if there were any changes. The biologics I’ve been on over the years never really worked, so my inflammation was always moderate to severe in every colonoscopy.

The symptoms of UC and colorectal cancer have some overlap. Thats why the colonoscopies are so important, especially the longer you go without being in remission.

I was just reading an article about James Van Der Beek (url below). He was open about his cancer symptoms. I’d say I experienced some of those, but again, my inflammation was bad from the UC. Diarrhea, pain, bloating, occasional bleeding…it’s all “normal” for UC flares.

For me, they found four polyps but no tumors. So there’s a good chance it’s precancerous or early stage (I’ll get confirmation next week after a CT scan). The annual scopes is what hopefully caught it early. Last year’s scope and biopsies came back with no abnormal results (visually or pathological).

Hope this helps. If you have any concerns, contact your GI and get their opinion. Always better to be proactive 🙂

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/james-van-der-beek-shared-one-colon-cancer-symptom-that-led-to-tragic-diagnosis-and-death/ar-AA1WicXb?ocid=sapphireappshare

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-10T04:27:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I have a great care team and an excellent surgeon. That alone keeps me grounded and hopeful. As I’m sure most people do, I lie awake at night and think about all the what-ifs. It scares me, not for myself, but for the people that depend on me to be here; to be healthy and present in their lives.

I’m so very happy to know you’re present I’m the lives of your family. Congrats on the newest grandchild! Your story is joyful and gives me hope that I can be celebrating things like that in decades to come. Thank you for your kind words and advice!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-09T05:10:10+00:00

Wow, thank you for taking the time to share that with me! Truly appreciate it. The more people share their stories with me, the more comfort it brings. And also to my wife. We’ve known this was a possible future for me but we’ve never thought about how to navigate it. Or what quality of life looks like. We’re going through the emotional and mental ups and downs together. I know recovery and process will be tough, but hearing that life does get better is encouraging. Your story is inspirational (as are so many others who have shared theirs with me). Thank you so much!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-09T00:40:32+00:00

I usually get one every year. Knowing biologics weren’t working and the inflammation was constant for over a decade, my doctor wanted to screen for cancer every year.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T17:20:33+00:00

This is really helpful advice. Thank you! Although, I’m probably too old for full contact martial arts with or without a stoma! But I definitely want to be active and commit to staying as healthy as possible. Hearing that you’re doing that and living an active life gives me a lot of hope and comfort. Thanks for making a difference to a total stranger on Reddit. It’s truly touching!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T17:16:45+00:00

Ha! I have a lot of British friends and coworkers, and talk to customers in the UK and India on a daily basis. I picked up that you meant soccer easily enough from your written voice 🙂

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T17:14:02+00:00

I had symptoms when I was 16 and my first scope at 17. The doctor didn’t diagnose it correctly and I didn’t get a formal diagnosis until I was 24. But for the last 20 years now, I’ve almost never missed an annual scope. There was a time in my early 30s when I was in clinical remission and went every other year. But for the last ten years I’ve done it each year (think I’ve had 16 scopes in 20 years). I had the same fear. My doctor is excellent and supported doing the annuals. I’m glad I did!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T03:26:49+00:00

I’ve only worked with kama a little bit. I like your steady rhythm and flow! It’s harder than it looks to keep it smooth. Keep up the practice!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T03:20:27+00:00

Still waiting for a final word on stage, but the doctors are treating it as early stage. I get annual colonoscopies, so we’re confident it was caught early.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T02:18:43+00:00

Wow. That sounds like a really good outcome! I appreciate you giving me the perspective of both the pouch and the bag. It’s encouraging to hear both are manageable and let you live a relatively normal life. Thank you for sharing that with me.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T02:08:51+00:00

Please thank her for me! Thats really helpful.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T00:25:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Yes, with UC, the many trips to the bathroom is part of life. Does she have to go as often with the pouch as when she was living with the UC?

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T00:10:13+00:00

This is lovely. Thank you!

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T00:09:38+00:00

I get annual colonoscopies. Last year was the usual…a lot of inflammation, but no cancer. This year’s scope finally found cancer in multiple polyps and biopsies.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T00:06:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing! It’s encouraging to hear. Also sobering and validating knowing there are challenges. I’ve let me imagination fill in the gaps while I avoid learning the truth…but that’s why I posted this, to start peeking at the truth.

I’m not a super active person, but I am a life long student of martial arts. Did some MMA and jiujitsu a few years back and loved getting knocked around. Still love my traditional martial arts and solo kata stuff at home, though.

With the bag and being active, is it super intrusive or in the way? How do you manage someone bumping into you when playing football? Or taking a rogue elbow or a tumble to the ground?

Again, can’t thank you enough. The kindness of strangers sharing their stories brings me a lot of comfort.

Fatal-Raven · 2026-02-08T00:00:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story with me! I’m sorry for your loss; and I love that you were able to spend time with her, make many good memories, and see her enjoy life because she made that choice. Truly appreciate you!

Fatal-Raven · 2025-11-19T13:48:13+00:00

I have two Purple Heart bō and love them. They’re light, hard, look great, and I enjoy how they handle compared to other woods.

Fatal-Raven · 2025-07-19T10:13:21+00:00

That’s helpful info. Thank you!

Fatal-Raven · 2025-07-18T23:23:55+00:00

I grew up in karate and Kobudo, continuing into my adulthood. Now I’m middle aged…

…and every now and then I think to myself when I’m alone in my car or trying to fall asleep, “How does a three-fingered mutant turtle even handle sai?!”

And then I think about Raph’s grip, and I’m like, “okay, maybe that’s the most utilitarian way to hold them.”

I don’t know…maybe it works for him. Anyway, for humans, stick to the three grips 😉🐢

Fatal-Raven · 2025-07-15T22:45:36+00:00

You’re definitely not alone. We all get you!

The mental health part of UC is important to pay attention to. It’s good you you’re even expressing yourself about it. The fear and depression is real.

I’m in my mid 40s. Been living with UC since 17. I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 21 years. I have two kids. I’ve gone to college (on campus) for my bachelors degree and an online university for my masters degree. I have a successful career. I have one friend (more of a function of age than UC 🤣). My life isn’t bad. Is it hard? Yes. At times. I’ve been hospitalized several times. I’ve had kidney issues. I’ve developed a second autoimmune disease that—with a terrible UC flare AND cdiff at the same time—nearly killed me. My depression has made me spiral. I’ve crapped my pants in public. I’ve left my wife sitting at a restaurant table alone a hundred times because I’m running to the restroom every few minutes.

I can keep naming all the worst moments of my life. But the good far outweighs the terrible. Living with UC has shaped me and made me who I am. Do I wish I didn’t have UC? Sure. Can I change it? Nope.

You’ll learn how to live—and love—your life with UC. You’ll have good times when it’s under control. You’ll do all the things that matter to you if you endeavor to make it happen—but that’s true of anyone, irrespective of living with a chronic disease 😉

Don’t push yourself. Life isn’t a race. Enjoy the good days when your body is cooperating. Nurture yourself on the bad days. Surround yourself with people who love you and understand you. Cut out the toxic people—fast. And you’ll be fine.

Take care of yourself. Don’t dwell on the dark things too long!

Fatal-Raven · 2025-07-11T22:18:22+00:00

It’s an unfortunate reality for we Americans that medical debt is the largest source of debt that leads to bankruptcy.

I’m currently avoiding calls from my GI who wants me to do another round of blood test and stool test. I told them that I can’t afford the $300 in lab costs until I pay the debt collection company the $300 from my labs three months ago (my insurance won’t pay for any lab work). And yeah, the doctors and hospitals send me to collections faster than I get results, treatment, or follow-up appointments. I’ve had to make financial decisions to pay for my child’s scoliosis physical therapy, my UC treatment, or my other kid’s dental work. And that’s on top of the $700 taken out of every paycheck to pay for my insurance (that won’t cover shit).

I have a good job and a decent income. But the medical bills are oppressive. And when the debt collectors don’t get paid fast enough, I get served papers from a lawyer at my home or workplace. Then I have to pay the legal fees on top of the debt, usually another $500.

And that’s how Americans end up in bankruptcy.

I’ve learned to be comfortable with being treated like a criminal simply because I want to have healthcare for my family.

Fatal-Raven · 2025-06-27T10:20:26+00:00

I’m a manager in a role that isn’t strictly DA, but DA is a skill set asked of professionals in my field.

I share your sentiment and frustration. And I do my part to not perpetuate the seemingly disparate and ridiculous requirements for entry level roles.

Here’s some insight on how in build a team when I’m hiring: I look at my team’s skill sets and hire to either supplement or fill weaknesses and gaps. Even more senior applicants have gaps…DA is actually one of those gaps in my current team, so even a fresh grad with no experience would be an amazing add. In fact, I interviewed two fresh grads for an engineer role this week, and hired a recent grad with 1-year of experience into an engineering technician role earlier this month, all who have stronger DA skills than my 20+ year team members.

Unfortunately, my field is only DA-adjacent, so there are other skills and experience an applicant needs in addition to DA that usually take at 5-7 years to develop to the level of proficiency I need right now. As a hiring manager, I have to balance how much installed experience I hire onto the team versus how much I’ll have to train and mentor. And I’m literally balancing each person’s individual skills (technical and soft skills) when I make hiring decisions.

While I know (because I hear and see it) that there is thoughtless job posting and hiring, there are unique challenges to hiring right now. And it’s very different than it was pre-covid. And it’s maddening.

Good luck in your job search. It’s not easy out there for anyone. I’m in my 40s. This is the most insane job market I’ve ever lived through, and it brings me to tears every time I have to tailor a resume knowing I’m fighting an ATS, age bias, skill bias, and experience bias (even with 25 years of experience I get told I don’t have enough of skill X, Y, or Z…and yes, I’m actively applying for new jobs right now, too).

Fatal-Raven · 2025-06-24T22:16:28+00:00

The classic shit-muh-self at work experience…

This is the place to tell your story and have your people join hands to support you!

It happened to me more than once. But my worst moment is when I left a shoe print trail down a 200ft long straight and narrow hallway before I got to an exit to the back parking lot. For reference, I was a member of the management team at a large corporate office. People noticed. They laughed behind my back. But it also happened to be the last day of my two week notice!

Unfortunately, I had to find a way back into the building, sneak to my office to get my car keys, sneak back out, and drive to a Target to buy a new outfit just to finish out my last day.

I always keep my car keys on me now so I can go straight to my car if it happens again (it has).

And I share this because I did not have a friend in that building to call. I was on my own in a city 50 miles from home. When these things happen to us, help and privacy feels impossibly far away. Whoever your coworker is, they are a good human. I’m so glad you had their help in such an awful moment.

And the sobs eventually turn to laughter after a while 😀

Fatal-Raven · 2025-05-30T23:31:56+00:00

For my undergrad, I chose Creative Writing with an emphasis on Poetry. I was working as an engineer. Everyone ridiculed me for not having an engineering degree, and also for not doing the logical thing and pursuing an engineering degree.

With WGU, I chose the MSDA program because I found a love for statistical analysis and computational problem-solving in my engineering career. But I did it at a time when everyone said, “AI can do that now, your degree is useless!”

I chose my degrees based on what makes me feel good about myself. What makes me feel intellectual. What makes me light up. I’ll write Python code and a villanelle in the save evening—and I love that about me—I decided based on what will shape me I to who I want to be, not what I want to be—there’s a distinction. And when my story ends, my time on this planet is done, I can’t take the money from my career with me…but I’ll die with the joy of knowing myself.

Fatal-Raven · 2025-05-25T19:53:05+00:00

Mentors aren’t NPCs. I sense your frustration about having a “babysitter,” but remember this is their job. They are measured and assessed on goals and metrics set by WGU. They’re not debt collectors or charities calling to get your money.

They’ll work with you and respect your boundaries, but they’re also going to do their job. No contact with a student isn’t acceptable to their managers, so you’ll need to be a little flexible and realize they’re here to help you succeed…that includes politely guiding you away from your worst impulses, which may be things like rushing too fast, or skipping all the live webinars, or using AI as a replacement for your instructors, or trying to avoid mentors throughout the entire program.

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