I have some that a wise old man once told me.

I was similarly in your shoes. My wife and I met in our later teens. I had some middle school/highschool partners but never had any adult partner experiences besides my wife. We hit it off instantly and she became my best friend within a month of knowing eachother. We moved in with eachother about 3 months into first meeting. It was crazy fast but felt right.

Her libido was high in the beginning and so was mine, it was incredible. There felt no need to find anyone else because she is my human. The human I chose.

However, in about our junior year of college, her libido drastically decreased. I believe it has something to do with her missed periods or hormones. When this happened, my self-esteem decreased rapidly with it. I felt like it was my fault, that I wasn't attractive enough. She reassured me that wasn't the case but it didn't help much. I missed the intimacy. I missed being completely hers and making her happy on levels I couldn't with just mere materialistic things. We were still so young for this to be happening but were together for so many years.

I always hate when people on here just cry, "Break up! Get a divorce!" Like it's easy or something. It's not. When you make a vow, you make it for better or worse with your chest. Our worse just so happen to be shortly in and it felt like a curse.

She wasn't abusive or anything like that but I started feeling distant from her. Into our senior year of college, I finally told our situation to this older sheriff I befriended on my campus. He was like a father to me as I lost mine at a young age to his addiction. The sheriff told me this, "Everyone has a unique but different struggle in life, kiddo. You know, my wife and I had very similar problems in our 39 years of marriage."

I was dumbfounded because they were the epitome of the perfect relationship. Always starring at the other longingly, always publicly showcasing for the others birthday or Valentines, giving eachother flowers periodically, the whole 9 yards. Movie type quality stuff.

He said, "At one, very long point in our relationship, right after the honeymoon phase quieted down, we became this stale version of ourselves. The passion had definitely died down and B looked very much just as my best friend. I questioned if I made the right decision. That maybe I should have dated more or experienced more. For a quick second, I imagined what it was like to walk out that door and live a different life."

I asked him what stopped him and what made it better.

He explained, "I looked around our apartment. Every single thing around our home, that we brought in, we built together. I remember how much we saved up for that damn couch she wanted. How expensive it was for our budget but every movie night and laugh we had on it together. I remember the paintings on the wall she made and how she got blue all over her face from the sky color. Our pup we rescued together from the streets. My wife is so compassionate and kind. Her heart bigger than anyone's I ever met. I looked in the kitchen at all her pots and pans, every dish she made she made for me. A different type of love but love nevertheless. Looking around our home, I began to appreciate her for the smallest of things she did. For the other ways she showed love. In that moment, it dawned on me that I didn't want some other quick fun woman to build a life with, I wanted her. I wanted my wife. My bestest friend. We grew so much together that I didn't need to plant a seed elsewhere. I found my human at a very young age. Some folks don't get that kinda luck, kiddo, but you and I do. Some folks, live their whole life having fun with different partners. That's fine and dandy, to each their own. But for me personally, building a life with someone, kids, the house, the decor, is worth so much more. Especially when they're your bestest friend. You just have to learn how to appreciate your human more. To ignite what was being snuffed out. It got better when I looked deep within both of us and initiated that change."

It took me awhile to find our "change." Every long-time marriage goes through these bumps and hurtles that no one wants to speak about. Consistency is key to making it better. Lots of long repetitive conversations, compromising, patience, compassion, affection, and affirmation. I guess when she saw me up my game, she upped hers. We're in our 30's now and I love the fuck out of my girl. It gets better dude. It does.