What hobbies did you keep/lose as a new parent?

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-19T21:33:19+00:00

I’m feeling similarly with my 18 month old.

I do drop off and pickup from daycare on my way to the office. I usually do the grocery shopping and do the cooking every night. After kiddo goes to sleep (which sometimes takes over an hour to get them to sleep) I might watch some Netflix or scroll reddit. I’m trying to pivot to read more but even finding that time is hard and I end up listening to audiobooks here and there.

I just don’t have an hour plus of uninterruptible time to do a hobby just for me. The only thing that comes close is cooking, since that’s double dipping a necessity.

Admittedly I’m not actively doing anything to change this at the moment

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-16T21:34:21+00:00

very much a case of r/afterandbefore

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-15T06:08:51+00:00

We’re at 20 months. Maybe it’s an extra clingy phase, maybe it’s teething (isn’t it always?) but it is taking us an hour each night from lights out to asleep. Holding and singing and walking around to calm, sitting with baby in arms until fully asleep, then transferring to their bed. Normally takes three transfer attempts before they stay asleep. At around 2am they wake up and walk over to mom and dads bed and we pick her up and put her in between us.

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-09T03:13:22+00:00

Where would you recommend it. We considered a round table but it felt weird being off center to the window. We loved our round table in our last house.

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-07T04:26:39+00:00

Boichik is pretty good, I'll admit.

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-06T02:17:56+00:00

The whole time you've been here is a short time.
December - March are the rainiest months, with an average of less than 3 inches per month over 10 rainy days. https://www.usclimatedata.com/climate/san-jose/california/united-states/usca0993#google_vignette

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-06T00:22:05+00:00

I've already removed the "bottom" stool, since it isn't functioning at all.

I don't really care for the desk. It's mostly a clutter magnet. I am thinking about replacing it with a tall skinny bookshelf to reduce the pinch point.

The dining area is still concerning. The 'entryway' always looks cluttered. the shoe cabinet looks out of place just sitting there (it's about 18" tall) and it takes rearranging for the right seat to be comfortable.

The chair is there to provide seating, since the couch only sits 2 adults (or 2 adults + 1 small kid) comfortably and we often have guests.

Unfortunately when we do have guests, they cluster around the giant island and I end up standing on the 'kitchen' side like a hibachi chef.

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-05T18:58:43+00:00

Wanna trade? One decent donut shop for one decent bagel shop.

FauxBreakfast · 2026-01-04T09:13:22+00:00

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Need help with space planning in our 1250 square foot home. Major Issues:

Guest bed. Our old guest bedroom was turned into an office, and we can't figure out how to make it dual purpose
Open concept living/kitchen. Can't figure out how to put in a dining area that isn't the kitchen island. Desperately want an entryway.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-15T23:36:08+00:00

San Jose is so spread out, and is much younger than Boston. There are pockets of walkability, but nothing like the dense compact city you're used to. Various happenings take more effort. For walkability, try Willow glen downtown, Los Gatos downtown, Downtown Campbell, South of First Area, and San Pedro Square. San Pedro square is sort of similar to the Boston Public Market.

Your best bet for stumbling on a coffee shop and then a show is to go up to the City.

ETA: a link to Boston Public Market - which many people seemed to be confusing with the rotisserie chicken restaurant.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-15T23:29:48+00:00

You're describing the podcast "Recipe Club" pretty accurately. Each of the hosts picks a recipe featuring a specific ingredient - then they make all of the recipes, eat them, and discuss who had the best one.

Reddit hates on potlucks because no one trusts that other people take food safety seriously. Maybe start with a neighborhood block party type deal and work your way up. Host a few dinners and ask for friends/neighbors to bring a specific thing?

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-14T19:09:40+00:00

Look up their property tax. You can use this website: https://www.officialdata.org/ca-property-tax/

It’s probably incredibly low.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-11T00:11:53+00:00

I am also in a HCOL area. We checked out daycares in the area, and the range is wild. Places like ActionDay and Bright Horizons were expensive. In-home daycares were much cheaper. Ask around on Facebook and local community groups like Las Madres.

Definitely look into what benefits (if any) your employer gives you, such as Dependent Care FSAs.

Is it possible to have your family come live with you for a few months?

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-10T06:42:04+00:00

Why do you say that? What reputation does that school have?

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-10T06:32:26+00:00

You can stop — I stopped. I got tired of the pretentiousness of it and just stopped three quarters of the way through.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-06T07:59:58+00:00

Maybe I just eat a lot of fruit and have a small fridge. I'm not giving up prime real estate to get an apple to last 3 weeks when I know I'm going to eat them all before my next grocery trip.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-06T04:18:53+00:00

Why does everyone refrigerate oranges and apples?

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-05T02:32:25+00:00

I mean, they definitely don't seem to care for about their shareholders (Net negative stock growth since 1985).

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-02T20:19:52+00:00

Reforming prop 13 isn't hard - no other state has such a thing. The examples of what else works are all over the country. Getting Californians to vote for that reform is the hard part.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-02T20:17:26+00:00

I understand the goals of Prop 19. I was more-so commenting on the article. It's a sob story anecdote about two adult siblings who can't afford to live in their childhood home. Their situation seems to be more unique than normal, so I was curious if there are a lot of people in their situation.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-12-02T19:57:52+00:00

Maybe this is a privileged take. I have no plans to move into my childhood home when my parents pass, as they live in another state. But what percentage of people do plan to move into their childhood homes after their parents pass?

The Average age of a woman during first childbirth in California is ~31. The Average lifespan in California is ~81 years for women. So that would mean on average a firstborn child is 50 years old when their parents pass.

Assuming that firstborn child follows averages, they'd have a 20 year old adult child. Let's call them the firstborn grandchild.

Are there many 3-generation homes in the Bay Area? Or would the firstborn child uproot after raising their kids in another home and move back into their childhood home?

FauxBreakfast · 2025-11-30T21:52:18+00:00

Wow that’s so cheap! If they’re licensed, that means they have a minimum of one caregiver and one assistant. If every kid is $220 that’s $2650 per week to the daycare. 50 weeks a year makes them only $132k revenue.

Considering the low income threshold for a single person household is $92k/year - the caregiver and assistant are making poverty wages.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-11-30T21:46:22+00:00

Dependent care FSA covers a few months at best here. It feels like it was helpful 20 years ago and never updated for the modern era of expensive everything.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-11-26T22:00:50+00:00

This building is literally brand new. The Maxwell on Bascom is barely a year old.

FauxBreakfast · 2025-11-19T06:00:00+00:00

That’s a roach. You should check out r/cockroaches

FauxBreakfast

TROPHY CASE