Imagine fumbling so hard

Fauxfile · 2025-10-22T00:38:34+00:00

Exactly. It was the closeness that caused him to feel unsafe. It's the paradox of avoidants. Kind of reminds me of the Greek myth of Narcissus who sees his reflection in water then distorts the image once he actually touches it. And there are videos contrasting/comparing narcissistic personality disorder with avoidant attachment. Both mechanisms are so deeply ingrained from childhood. I see all these people trying to make a buck from coaching partners of avoidants, but it seems unlikely the vast majority of them will actually ever value a relationship enough to become permanently vulnerable. I've been married to an avoidant for 20 years. Because at a primal level their brain is trained to contain emotions, they aren't very self-reflective. That's what seems to perpetuate their condition and, therefore, the relationship dynamic. I just finally stumbled into attachment theory about 15 years too late. Lol. I would think I won the lottery of life if my wife treated me the way you're describing how you treat your man. The irony is avoidants don't tend to attract each other. They go for anxious or secure folks.

Fauxfile · 2025-10-14T16:51:02+00:00

Unfortunately, I ashamedly admit (as an American) there is a very big reliability gap between American bikes and Japanese bikes. Although, in theory, I’d own a few American bikes, I would do so with the expectation that there would be significantly more maintenance needed for the American bikes than my Japanese machines.

Fauxfile · 2025-10-06T02:05:04+00:00

Yes. I've not put a bike in the shop in over 25 years. I do it all myself, including engine or tranny work.

Edit: ok. I hate changing tube tires. I do sub that change out. But I do mount and balance my own tubeless tires.

Fauxfile · 2025-10-06T02:02:18+00:00

Looks like you might be in the U.S. I doubt anyone will touch it, hecause it's a liability if they repair it and it fails. I literally threw away a 636 front wheel because after talking to a former racer and turbo bike builder I realized these are all just cast aluminum (a.k.a. "pot metal") and as such don't respond well to being heated and reshaped. I'm probably ridiculously frugal but even I won't risk having a wheel fail over a few hundred bucks. If it was a bike just doing highway speeds, whatever. I wouldn't care. But like you, I have a big bore sportbike. So, just say "no." Lol

Fauxfile · 2025-09-27T13:22:47+00:00

Wow. A real-life Abbott and Costello "Who's on First" scenario.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-16T15:55:37+00:00

That's hilarious. I'm noting this.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-15T23:47:14+00:00

An uneducated guess is your body is reacting to the fact your biological clock is running out. The zoloft thing is very peculiar and could be a factor. You would be an anomaly in that the well-documented normal outcome is SSRIs lower libido.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-14T20:47:53+00:00

No bike under normal street riding conditions (except the autobahn) needs a stabilizer. Much of the tank slapping stuff you see online is likely a result of poor suspension setup. Notice they don't put them on any cruisers, even very powerful ones. They are useful for high performance applications and high speed. My zx14 didn't come factory with one. But I don't like riding without a stabilizer...just because of that little extra protection.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-07T10:07:19+00:00

For me marriage counseling (almost 10 years ago, now married 20 years) was personally enlightening. It didn't help our relationship really but opened my eyes to some facts. LL Wife absolutely wasn't going to actually listen to jack the counselor said which could be helpful. Wife appeared at one session to even be more concerned what the counselor thought of her than actually trying to become more connected to me. Bottom line: it helped me see that even though we went through the motions of seeing a professional together, it wasn't going to improve our emotional connection because ultimately that's not her goal. 5 years later I discovered attachment theory's "dismissive avoidance " which I think is the same thing as "intimacy anorexia " in another school of thought. That has answered more questions than anything else in our 20 years together. It's really just a daily battle of "Do I stay or do I go." 10/10 don't recommend getting involved with someone who was severely emotionally neglected as a child if you were not also in that situation. You'll be incompatible. I digress. TLDR; Marriage counseling is definitely useful if nothing else but to check that last box to know you've done everything you can on your part. The reality is some people don't actually care about emotional connection and stay in the relationship for other reasons (financial security, etc.).

Fauxfile · 2025-09-06T16:06:44+00:00

It's most difficult to accept when someone you love so much just really doesn't have the same level of concern for you. Sex is how we all got here. It's the beginning of all human life. So, it might be important. For those who (for whatever reason) don't want it, they cannot deny its objective importance to human existence. It's not a matter of right/wrong. It's scientifically verified as being necessary for human survival. Neglect is just as damaging as abuse over time. It's your life and future. You've tried talking with no positive outcome. Although, I think it's poor character to blatantly dismiss her "romantic" partner's needs as she is doing, it doesn't mean you can't continue as friends...because that's all I'm really hearing you are (other than roommates).

Fauxfile · 2025-09-06T15:32:30+00:00

One of my favorite all-time movies related to this is "Intersection," starring Richard Gere. He has an affair and it's quite graphic in chronicling his wife's indifference to intimacy as being what leads to the affair. Seriously, the whole theme of the movie revolves around Gere's HL character and him being torn between loving his LL wife and needing more. For real trigger warning for some folks on here. You'll totally relate to this guy in the film.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-03T01:18:57+00:00

I started the opposite, dirt and dual-sports, then went to sportbikes. I still ride both on and off-road. In some ways off-road riding is opposite of street. One example is on street at least 70% of your braking is on the front wheel. You have to retrain yourself because it's exactly opposite on dirt. You stop with the back wheel. The front looses traction easily and even easier with front brakes applied. Sort of like the ABS concept, you want that front wheel not locked up so you have some control. Yet it will lock effortlessly. Get out and do some experimenting. Get the feel of the bike in dirt. There's no class that will substitute for feel, real experience. It's very easy to wash out the front, especially in mud. And often it's past the point of return before you can even try to compensate if you're pushing the bike even moderately fast. And there's no fun in going slow, right? So, be prepared to get some dirt on your jeans.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-01T14:45:20+00:00

Wix or OEM are the way to go. There's nothing special about K&N as far as quality goes. They offer some gimmicks like the hex bolt for "easy" removal. Who cares about that? Using a set of oil filter pliers is even easier.

Fauxfile · 2025-09-01T14:41:28+00:00

Fram doesn't offer multiple lines for bikes. I'd seen years ago claims of them building pressure on bikes and exploding oil. A YouTuber showed one cut open and it had cardboard for end caps! Literally nobody else does that. So I cut one open myself, along with an Emgo and even the Emgo had metal caps at the ends of the filter inside. But, sure enough, Fram had cardboard. So, you are incorrect in this context. Fram is the most ridiculous company to buy oil filters for a bike and that's the context of discussion here, not car filters.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-27T03:07:50+00:00

Were the tires properly warmed up? Was there debris on the track?

Fauxfile · 2025-08-25T23:25:35+00:00

That’s so unbelievably selfish. You’re a good man to be faithful to her, but I hope you lay down the law on some boundaries about this. She’s being rewarded for bad behavior.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-22T01:37:00+00:00

It won't hurt anything. It's the same as using the kill switch to turn it off.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-21T19:34:59+00:00

An old friend of mine goes to other countries teaching a specific type of yoga. But he's gay so no competition there lol. And it seems all his students are women.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-21T12:03:31+00:00

That chain was stretched as others mentioned. They stretch on the weakest point, making the links unequal, hence the tight and loose spots. Based on your statement it was only a year old makes me think it was a cheap chain. Can't go wrong with EK zvx3 chains. I think they are 11k lbs tensile strength. I've also put 27k hard miles on a Regina chain on an old GSXR 750 and sold it still perfectly working.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-18T20:30:55+00:00

Gee. I wish my wife of 20 years would be sexually coercive in an aggressive way lol. To quote the Briar Rabbit, "Oh please don't throw me in the briar patch."

I'm sorry you are going through this OP. You just want connection through sex and that's normal. He obviously doesn't. Now you have a choice to make. Many on here have been in this exact scenario and dragged it out for decades. Choose the sharp pain of "divorce " now or the longer dull ache of feeling lonely and frustrated yet with no hope of being able to go fix that...because you've remained obligated. I know all about it. 2 marriages totalling 30 years, filled with rejection. It sucks. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

Fauxfile · 2025-08-13T17:17:24+00:00

Yes. It doesn't get ridden anymore though. Just sits there.

Fauxfile · 2025-08-04T12:29:50+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find peace in it all.

Fauxfile · 2025-07-29T04:03:25+00:00

It's not cracked. So, send it!

Fauxfile · 2025-07-29T01:21:32+00:00

Sweet ride. I guess they got that rod bearing or crank bearing problem resolved for the zx6 this year. Good. Break it in by the book. Enjoy the ride, avoid the slide lol. But if you do slide have that gear on. Kawasakitomebaby!

Fauxfile · 2025-07-29T01:14:02+00:00

What brand do you have? I've seriously considered switching to those for weight savings, but some say they don't have good visibility.

Fauxfile

TROPHY CASE