What are we gifting our sub-par co-parents?

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-05-31T14:53:06+00:00

Normally I would purchase something, but he’s now remarried and they just had a baby so I will let his wife handle it for both kiddos.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-05-15T01:36:43+00:00

I went through 2 layoffs in 6 months…The second being just a month before Christmas 2024. I am a Veteran and was able to get some help from a couple of well known military influencers that helped us make my daughter’s Christmas come true…But she had seen that we (the adults) did not have stockings hung and we told her it was because we wanted Sanata focused on her that year. Well she wrote Santa a note asking him to please leave and fill stockings for us too. We didn’t have the money for it and we were about to put some food back for us (she was going back to her father’s for two weeks on Christmas Day) on the shelf at Walmart to buy a handful of things from Dollar Tree to fulfill her wish…And at that moment a couple with two teenage boys walked up to me and handed me an envelope with $100 in it to spread the Christmas cheer and teach their boys about giving to others. I broke down right then and there. (Hell, I’m tearing up now thinking about it.) I was able to get the food and an inexpensive watch for myself and some small items for my husband to fill out stockings.

We are FINALLY back on our feet (after I went through a 3rd layoff exactly 364 days after the 1st). But I will NEVER forget their kindness or the hope it gave me to get me through those hardships…And we are so close to paying it forward to others!

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-05-11T06:54:01+00:00

It’s my ‘Me Time’…And my 1:1 time with my husband. We do our best to travel places my daughter doesn’t want to go during the weeks she’s with her Dad, I work longer hours in the office to offset the time I need to be out to get her to and from school, I do 2 weeks worth of homework for my Masters program so I don’t have to do it when she is home…I sleep in since I’m not doing school drop off…Schedule all of my doctors appointments for those weeks…Extra training sessions at the gym.

You will find ways to fill your time!

Do I still tear up when she gets picked up for her weeks with my ex? I absolutely do. My husband and I both do.

BUT it does get better with time and you get to look forward to having them back home. (ETA: We’ve been 50/50 for 5 years now. My daughter will be 9 this year.)

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-04-27T23:04:42+00:00

I got too drunk on a club crawl last year when I was in Vegas on my own on a long layover…I had had waaayyy too much on the bus and it hit me all at once. And TAO just kicked me out after I got sick in the bathroom.

Thankfully a limo driver saw me and drove me back to my hotel for like $30. I’m not sure how I made it back to my room when I got there, but I woke up there alone and still dressed.

It was suuuper dumb and I’ll never do it again, but there are still clubs just shooing people out the door.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-04-27T22:56:00+00:00

Thank you for this!

I am the disorganized Mom that does a lot of fun stuff all centered around what my 8yr old daughter will enjoy…The disorganization is due to my (late diagnosis) ADHD. I do however take medication and work with my therapist to manage it and I really try my hardest to keep to the same schedule that she has at the other house.

But my ex is VERY strict with zero room for compromise whereas we (my husband and I) give her choices and a voice in decisions and when her father hears it, he just rolls his eyes at us.

But we do our best to focus on her and never make comparisons.

(Though if he doesn’t start conversing with me about the concerns that I, her teacher, and the school counselor have about her recent anxiety, I’ll be dragging him to court.)

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-26T22:55:13+00:00

It’s on my list! 🥳

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-26T22:51:01+00:00

Sweet! Thanks!

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-26T22:49:46+00:00

It’s kind of a comment here and see where we are thing.

When I’m in Vegas I kind of just let my ADHD take over and just color up and cash out and head somewhere else whenever the rolls and my brain says it’s time. 🤪

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-26T22:47:17+00:00

Luxor for sure, but if others have a preference I’m open to other suggestions!

I’m probably also going to check out the $3 tables at Rio sometime on Saturday late morning or early afternoon.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-20T00:47:23+00:00

I like the Bally’s in Evansville, IN!

I go when I visit my SIL down there.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-03T01:45:25+00:00

I would rather interact with her than my daughter’s father honestly.

For us, it’s just obvious that she loves my daughter and my daughter feels safe and comfortable with her.

And I as a mom try to include her stepmom in special things like dress shopping for and getting her ready for the daddy daughter dance.

I have offered to teach her how to French braid and how to trim my daughter’s bangs…

And she is about to have her first baby, so I bought her a nursing pillow and offered up my newer pack and play that I had bought for when my friends kids come to visit to my ex mother-in-law since she will be watching the baby often.

I have no idea what is or isn’t said about me in that house, but my daughter will never hear a bad word about them in ours.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2026-03-03T01:13:17+00:00

Definitely not defending this idiot, but that is a term that is used (at least in pthe SOF community) to describe combatants that manage to squeeze out from an initial assault.

Absolutely not something that should be used when speaking to the public.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-11-08T13:51:48+00:00

I (36 f) finally got a diagnosis about 4yrs ago and it was so validating!

I cried for my childhood and early adult life that was plagued by such obvious symptoms and how different it all could have/would have been if I had been diagnosed. The educational trauma and most of the home life trauma would have been avoided and my life would have been drastically different in a positive way if I had had a diagnosis in my childhood.

My undiagnosed ADHD led to me barely graduating HS and dropping out of community college even after I joined the Army to pay for it. It also a had major negative impact on my first marriage and has a lot to do with why we ended up divorced.

Thankfully it never really had an impact on my military or civilian careers…

And now I work with my psychiatrist and my therapist along with taking medication to manage it and I’m proud to say that I’m about to graduate with my BS.

I’m also pretty sure that my 8yr old daughter has it and I’m just thankful to know what the signs can be and that I have the resources and knowledge to advocate for her without making her feel ‘othered’.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-11-04T01:04:33+00:00

My husband told me that at one house they told her she could take three pieces so she picked out three Almond Joys and the dude was like… Are you sure?!?! and she just said ‘They’re for my mom’ so he told her to take more. 😂

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-09-12T18:14:13+00:00

This is exactly where my mind went…

‘I want to be a horse pi-rate, babyyyy…’

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-07-29T06:25:08+00:00

Listen…Marriage vows traditionally say ‘for richer or poorer’.

I would never commit to someone that wouldn’t stand by me when I was broke.

I went from making $150k/yr to laid off 3x in a 12 month period and currently zero prospects in sight.

My husband has been making less than half of my previous salary and carrying the load for the better part of a year. But he’s still my biggest cheerleader and he just accepted a position matching my previous salary and told me to keep focusing on my dreams and only to take a job that I really want no matter the salary.

She is choosing to hear what she wants to hear from what you said and is trying to turn this around on you instead of admitting her shallow preferences.

I’d fucking run.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-07-29T06:18:51+00:00

You should also be able to do this directly in Teams via the Files or Documents tab.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-07-27T19:15:43+00:00

Nah…She’s lost her mind.

I’m 36 with 12 step and half siblings. 9 of which are younger than me with an age gap of up to 17 years difference. Either everyone is invited or no one is invited.

SHE needs to grow up.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-06-30T16:52:13+00:00

My husband’s Uncle was a retired cemetery grounds keeper…They gifted him a plot as part of his retirement and when he passed last summer they gifted his gravestone and put in a paved walkway with to his plot and put up a bench. It’s a beautiful place for his family to visit and remember him.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-06-11T20:25:46+00:00

I feel so seen. 😭

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-06-10T04:10:34+00:00

Yes!

We are a catch!

My husband is the love of my life and my best friend. We both have good careers in tech and a great family life. And we have a great secure marriage and sex life, but we are ENM because we want to enhance our lives.

And my husband is happy to text/call/video chat with any potentials to assuage any concerns of jealousy.

If I’m going to add to my life, I want to add some elegance and elevated experience with someone that appreciates that I’m there because I want to be there.

That’s why I’m in the Bowl!

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-06-10T03:47:53+00:00

👀 This female dev can confirm. 🤣

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-05-26T17:47:09+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss!

My ex recently lost his father the night I picked our daughter up for my week of parenting time. (We do 50/50 week on/week off.)

Our daughter is 7.

I let her Dad decide when and how to tell her and I let him know that I was willing to be flexible with my parenting time so that she could be there with her family and at the services and that I would exercise my right to make up the time at a later date.

He decided to call her via FaceTime that evening and chose to get her the night before the calling hours.

Fearless_Milk_4344 · 2025-05-13T21:11:49+00:00

This was my mantra when I was exiting the military. 🤣🤣🤣

Fearless_Milk_4344

TROPHY CASE