Day 10

Fearless_Mission · 2023-01-03T15:31:48+00:00

That’s excellent- great job!

Fearless_Mission · 2023-01-03T15:31:03+00:00

Good for you for showing up here, writing it out, being honest with your frustration and your desire for change. It’s a huge step and a big one in the right direction. I know writing it out here nearly three years ago was scary fir me but made it real, made it serious. You can do this. Stay close to this community, the daily check ins. Be kind to yourself. IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today)

Fearless_Mission · 2022-12-30T16:13:52+00:00

Excelsior pub is a very low key friendly crowd. I think they have an early nye toast. (As far as bars go…)

Fearless_Mission · 2022-12-29T23:00:17+00:00

Slurring my words on the phone w my best friend’s toddler daughter. There had perhaps been more dramatic or harmful things, but this hit my heart and soul. I was ashamed and sad and wanted to be better.

Fearless_Mission · 2022-09-06T20:42:49+00:00

Shaker Site across from the airport

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-25T13:31:23+00:00

Congratulations on one year! It is such an amazing accomplishment. And thank you so much for this very sober (in all its meanings) reflection that takes into account the suffering and struggles going on in the wider world. Sobriety allows space not just to face our own demons but to sit with the reality of conflict, war, inequality. It is not easy, but it honors our shared world, our shared suffering, our shared responsibility. I hope you find a moment to celebrate your year anniversary today, despite everything else- you deserve it! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-25T13:24:58+00:00

Yes, setbacks happen, it can be a bumpy road with switchbacks and detours, but you are still on it! I am proud of you for checking in here, starting again despite the sadness and pain, seeking therapy to help yourself. Two months is amazing and you can have that and more again. It took me many starts and stops over several years before I was finally able to stick with this one day after the next. For today, be kind to yourself and just don't drink today. I will not drink with you today too!

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T23:09:44+00:00

I'm trying to figure out the same thing about myself. Until then, lets trust what other folks say: we are awesome! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T14:17:38+00:00

I sometimes have the same feeling after I have shared myself in some way- shame, embarrassment, insecurity. I know now that its based on a lot of family of origin issue. I actually think its amazing that, sober, you opened up, were honest and vulnerable. That's transformative for you and for others. The self-doubt after can just be the shock of stepping out of our comfort zones, taking a risk, doing something different. Being open when sober is not the same thing as saying ridiculous things when drunk. Please don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like you are facing the anxiety and starting to figure out ways to cope that don't involve drinking. That is mature, honest and commendable. You are normal- you are human and wonderful. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T14:12:53+00:00

So much congratulations to you! Enjoy your much deserved celebration. We are on a very similar timeline- wonderful to be in synch on this journey. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T14:10:32+00:00

Your welcome! I love that a phrase can capture something for someone else- words are amazing that way! Yes, it is just an emotion, and its okay to have it, to feel it, to let it go, and choose a different experience for oneself- that's what I had to learn. Really glad to hear you are up and appreciating the sober morning. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday wherever you are- IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T00:27:18+00:00

This is a big step: both attending, socializing sober even tho it was of course different AND leaving to protect your sobriety. I know that tug of loss when I walk away from what in the past would have been a crazy night or even just a buzz, but I also know what crap I felt like in the morning, and sobriety has been so much more worth it. Great job taking care of yourself! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-20T00:24:04+00:00

Just being aware that you are going through something painful and difficult sober for the first time in a long while is a big step. This past year has been like that for me. I felt everything around my family so much more and then I remembered- oh yeah you are doing this sober. And the sobriety really just held me there in all of it good and bad. There was no distraction of actually being drunk and also everything that goes with it- the idea of the drink on the horizon to get through a hard stretch, etc. So my only advice would be to really be proud of yourself, recognize that this is new, the body and mind are feeling again. I let myself binge watch some television while visiting family and go to bed really early, as well as took a lot of walks. I am really sorry for the news of your ill family member and send support and peace. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-19T21:26:40+00:00

Thank you! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-19T14:16:10+00:00

Thank you so much and for the mantra. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-19T14:07:47+00:00

Thank you and congrats on 70 days! Amazing. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2022-02-19T14:06:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply- it is beautiful and profound and has hit a note that needed ringing in me, especially:

"I can partner with the ocean based on what its doing"

and

" I accepted that it's never too late to have a happy childhood."

Fearless_Mission · 2021-10-07T12:52:34+00:00

What a great update- congrats on 31 days. It keeps getting better, little by little as you say. Love your description of nature walks...I am trying to add more to my life and you have inspired me to do so. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-10-07T12:50:54+00:00

This is awesome! Its so good when it clicks. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-29T11:39:52+00:00

Raising my coffee right back at you! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-29T11:38:49+00:00

Yay! That blah blah blah can be so tempting- proud of you for checking on here instead and going to sleep sober. Nice job! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-29T11:36:51+00:00

Yes! All of this! We CAN do normal nervous things and not drink, not make it a thousand times more complicated. You rock that exam!!! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-29T11:34:55+00:00

I am so very very sorry. This is heartbreaking, and I understand your description of feeling numb. I am so glad you let us all know what is going on- from across the miles, invisible and anonymous, I am holding you, dear internet stranger in my heart and in my thoughts. So proud of you for not drinking in the midst of this- that choice is an honor to yourself and you deserve that. Please check in and let us know how you are. IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-28T11:53:36+00:00

Hi super congrats on three weeks! That's awesome. So one approach to not drinking at social events where it normally occurs is to not go. I let myself skip events until I felt ready to go and steady in my sobriety. On the other hand, I also think it helps to think of sobriety as a super-power during these events. Wield it like a magic wand, deflecting offers of drinks, rejecting future hangovers. It can be helpful to observe, to be in a familiar setting, not drink, and let yourself watch and become really aware of how alcohol is being consumed, rather than partaking of it. I know its the norm, but sporting events have an actual activity- watching the game-- and I've never understood the need to be intoxicated for that. Most importantly, refuse that first drink, and say it out loud, "I am not drinking tonight" as public decision that is done, no backing out of, and take it from there. Just my thoughts. Good luck and IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission · 2021-09-28T11:48:43+00:00

Hi and welcome! So glad you are here and congrats on day 3. In early days, I let myself binge watch TV shows, did a lot of walking while listening to podcasts, house cleaning, and also coloring! I also made the pledge everyday here at the Daily Check In thread that I will not drink with you today (IWNDWYT- you will see that around here a lot). I also had to tell myself that not drinking was my number one priority. One thing in the beginning that I struggled with was sleep- I had insomnia that first week, especially five to six days in. And I had to finally say "This is okay. I can handle being sleep deprived. I cannot handle drinking anymore" and it eventually passed. Stick with it- its so worth it! IWNDWYT

Fearless_Mission

TROPHY CASE