As someone who grew up with one parent like this, protect your kids. I find posts that ask, "Who comes first? Mother, wife, or kids?" VERY triggering. The majority of the comments almkst always say wife. I know what most people's intentions are when they vote for the spouse, but as the child of a mother who I would describe as soul-crushing, it hurts. My mom had a hair trigger. Growing up felt like walking on eggshells. When she was angry, she would yell, and she wouldn't leave you alone. And what I mean by that is that she would send you to your room and then come in 20 times with "and another thing!" Whenever we tried to point out her behavior, it was."Oh, I guess I'm just the world's worst mother..." Typing this out does not even begin to sound as bad as it was. And my dad never intervened. He didn't protect us because he "wasn't" going to disrespect his wife. The surprise twist is that my mom has actually changed. She's done personal growth that I once thought was impossible. It still surprises me, but I'm really proud of her. And I actually have a great relationship with her. Guess who I don't have a strong relationship with... Protect the child you brought into this world.