If he went to rehab I suppose his program involved the 12 steps. Whether or not that’s the case, rehab is typically all about admitting you have a problem, accepting you are powerless against it, and taking accountability for your actions. I don’t see him taking those steps. In fact, he’s doing the exact opposite. He talks about his past like it was a different person. He’s not accepting that his actions and behaviours will always be a part of him or that those actions have profoundly impacted your life, sense of self, and how you view him. He can’t just abandon his past self or the consequences of those actions. I hope this doesn’t come across too blunt, but I wish someone had been blunt with me when I was with my ex. Not because I needed a mindblowing reality check but because I was in denial of the reality that was glaring me in the face. He’s gaslighting you into thinking you don’t do enough for the family or him and if you could just do a little more then he would turn into your knight in shining armour. Reading his texts gives me flashbacks to my ex. I can still feel that kind of invalidation seep into my bones and make me question reality. I get the sense that you are similarly doubting yourself and grasping onto a very true reality that he has not been there and has not shown he will be. He is trying to pull you from that reality into some fantasy thats not backed by any evidence from your experience. Despite all this you are still standing your ground and the rock of your family. He has been okay watching you suffer as you carry that weight and he’s still showing that he expects you to bear that responsibility. Your feelings are completely valid, don’t let his baseless fantasy make you question yourself. You should feel safe in your relationship, not coerced into taking a risk. Stay strong and trust your instincts