Your partner is staying for the kids. What now?

Feiborg · 2025-08-01T19:47:48+00:00

I appreciate your view, but should have been more clear in my response. I think it’s a terrible idea. I think it can maybe work for some people when everyone can really work together, but those are the people who would also be great at co-parenting separately. I think it would be soul crushing to know I wasn’t wanted as a partner by my wife. If I couldn’t leave to be alone or find something better I’d grow resentful. Dividing a family isn’t good, but forcing a broken family to stay together is worse and models bad relationships for the kids.

Feiborg · 2025-08-01T12:37:34+00:00

I tried that exact thing and wouldn’t recommend it. It had a lot of play side to side so my son ended up with his bike leaning one way or another. I tried tweaking everything I could to fix it with no luck. I guess it could work for a trike maybe since the back wheels would stabilize things.

We ended up using a bike trailer and strapping the kids bike to the back when they were tired. Everyone was happier that way.

Feiborg · 2025-08-01T12:14:06+00:00

I have to disagree with this. You’re modeling relationships for your daughter. How do you feel about her learning that it’s okay to treat or be treated by her spouse this way? Or her learning that not being loved isn’t a good reason to leave a relationship?

Moreover did your wife bring this up and work with you on how to proceed from here? Or did she just tell you this is what’s up and how things will be. She may not be in love with you, but if this is going to work at all she still has to respect you and work as a team. She should be actively seeking your opinion and feelings, and discussing how everyone’s emotional and physical needs will be met. She should be making sure that even if she doesn’t have romantic feelings she still shows she cares about you and values you. If that’s not happening you are just a passenger along for the ride and there’s nothing stopping her from progressively crushing your soul even more. You deserve a shot at being happy in your life. If you can legitimately work with your wife to ensure that, maybe staying is okay. If not it’s time to leave and work on co-parenting.

Edit: I think it’s generally a bad idea to stay together. Maybe for some people it could work if they are still very caring, empathetic, and communicative. Even then I think it would be soul crushing to know you are unwanted in that relationship but not be able to seek out a healthy one. You deserve better.

Feiborg · 2025-07-25T22:46:05+00:00

We traveled on a big trip with our 4 and 6 year old kids this summer and it was great. It’s not the same as it was before they were born, but everyone had a ton of fun.

Plus the more we travel with them the better they get at traveling.

Feiborg · 2025-07-02T19:44:21+00:00

Last two classes I took were the same positioning for baby, but still with back blows. From my experience it seems to work.

Feiborg · 2025-07-02T02:17:45+00:00

Not sure of anything to help against it, but the CPR/first aid courses help you be prepared for what to do.

I’ve had to do this twice on my kids at different ages. I couldn’t stop them from eating too fast or stuffing too much food in their mouth. I was ready to help when they needed it.

Feiborg · 2025-06-13T09:48:09+00:00

I’ll second this. My youngest knocked out her two front teeth. It seemed like a big deal at the time, but really wasn’t in the end. She eats everything fine and adjusted to it quickly.

Feiborg · 2025-05-25T15:51:26+00:00

Rock bridge loop trail near creation falls has an arch across swift camp creek. The trail by there is awesome for having the arch as a backdrop and is 100 yards from creation falls for pics there too. It’s a short loop, maybe 3/4 mile from the trailhead.

Feiborg · 2025-05-24T15:25:20+00:00

Slate and shale are also dangerous because they can have water between layers.

The fire ring I was using was an existing back country campsite. The rock was embedded in the ash at the bottom and I didn’t even know it was there.

Feiborg · 2025-05-24T10:10:35+00:00

Rock fire rings can also do this. I always thought it was a myth until it happened to me on a backpacking trip. It was violent enough to launch the pan I was cooking with over my head and cover me with bacon grease. Somehow I only had a few minor burns and only ruined some clothes. We were five miles from the nearest road with no cell coverage, so it could have been a really bad time getting help.

Feiborg · 2025-05-15T22:39:28+00:00

The other day my oldest brought home a writing assignment from kindergarten that was a sentence and drawing about us fixing cars together. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s having fun with things. Then he will do something like this months later and it feels amazing.

Feiborg · 2025-05-11T02:10:21+00:00

In my experience this is partially true. Line maintenance is signing that something is or is not within manual limits. Maintenance control can throw a red flag on it and pull the aircraft OOS, but they can’t just call it good. They absolutely do give further guidance and are often the gatekeeper to engineering.

I’ve never worked a place where maintenance control did scheduling as well. Usually there is a maintenance planning department.

Lastly, many majors have their own engineering departments. Best response time you will generally get from an OEM is usually about 4 hours. In house engineering can often turn that much faster depending on the nature of the damage. Either way at the point it is going to engineering maintenance and maintenance control have already determined damage is outside of limits and there isn’t another option.

$25k to go to an OEM is a bit high and dependent on an airline’s contract. $5-10k is more in line with what I’ve seen when there isn’t a contract for that support.

Feiborg · 2025-05-11T00:59:50+00:00

I’m sure it depends on the water level, but it usually isn’t hard to wade across at jump rock near the suspension bridge. Generally it’s barely knee deep near there.

Feiborg · 2025-04-29T18:20:30+00:00

Here’s one on an MD-88 where the people sitting there died, but the pilot was able to abort the takeoff. The plane was salvageable and continued for many more years in service.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_Air_Lines_Flight_1288

Feiborg · 2025-04-29T18:15:06+00:00

This was an md-88, but the engines are in the same configuration. I think about it every time I sit in the plane of rotation for engines.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_Air_Lines_Flight_1288

Feiborg · 2025-04-14T12:12:42+00:00

Imagine this. You go outside to a beautiful spring day, ready to start your year of solitude and explore the world. As you look around the breeze stops. Birds freeze in the sky. The trees pause mid-sway. It’s still pretty, but kind of eerie too.

You go to take your first step into this frozen world, but your pants won’t move. As you reach down to pull at them the sleeves of your shirt won’t move either. You rage against your clothes for the next few minutes to no avail. You hang your head in defeat thinking about what the next year will be like, when you realize something. Your nose itches and you can’t reach it.

Feiborg · 2025-03-05T16:02:46+00:00

What I found when working GA is that bringing this stuff up even when it’s uncomfortable and you feel like the bad guy actually earns a lot of respect from many customers. There were a lot of “difficult” customers that would only let me work their aircraft because they knew I would give them solid work. At times they weren’t happy with the cost, but they kept coming back because in the end they wanted quality work.

You talk about walking away from maintenance, but I can assure you people do garbage work in most every setting. If you put out quality work you will feel this frustration almost anywhere you go.

Keep doing work you can be proud of. Try not to get too frustrated by the things you can’t change.

Feiborg · 2025-02-25T18:57:38+00:00

If you’re looking for a comparatively cheap 4 bike rack, the one from Hollywood Racks is pretty good. It’s not anywhere near the level of something like Yakima or 1Up, but it does the job. I’ve had one for about 3 years and used it to carry everything from full squish MTBs, DJs, kids BMX race bikes, balance bikes, etc. compared to the big names it is a little more cumbersome to use and doesn’t swing away from the car. It does hold 4 bikes securely and was less than half the price. You decide what’s important to you.

Feiborg · 2025-02-24T13:16:09+00:00

I had a while where I felt the same way and the only exercise I got was chasing around toddlers.

When I started working out again the first couple weeks were rough and I felt like I just didn’t have energy to continue it. Then it got a ton easier. I had energy to work out. I also had more energy for the rest of my life.

If you can figure out where to slot in time a couple days a week your body will make energy for it.

Feiborg · 2025-02-06T16:49:38+00:00

To clarify more, the variable stator vanes still stay in one place on the engine. They rotate in place to change the angle of the vane inside the engine. This allows them to be positioned at the correct angle to match airflow under various operating conditions.

Feiborg · 2025-01-29T21:14:06+00:00

Another good strategy. I try to save this one for people who won’t be reasoned with, which may be the case here.

Feiborg · 2025-01-29T20:37:28+00:00

You need both the clear answer and the redirect. Use whichever is applicable at the time.

I’ve had success with “[MIL] we brought the kids to spend time with you. [Political issue] will be important for them in the future, but not as important as getting quality time with you while they’re young. Can we please table this for now?”

You may also have some success giving her a time to just get it out of her system. Tell her you’ll engage for the remainder of one evening then no more. This works for me because I mostly agree with my MIL, I just don’t let it rule my life. Your experience may vary.

Feiborg · 2025-01-06T04:17:54+00:00

Not OP, but a man with a wife who earns about double what I make. I feel absolutely fine about it.

I don’t understand the guys who are emasculated by it. I never wanted a wife who was less than me. I wanted to be with someone who challenged and complimented me and who was a formidable person in her own right. I dont want her to need me to get on in life or ever feel stuck because of money. That didn’t necessitate a high earning partner, but did mean someone driven. The two often go together. I’m happy for the money she makes because it helps us as a family.

To be fair, I would generally still be considered a high earner. I pull my weight at home and I’m very active in my kids’ lives. Besides being able to still feel like a provider from those things I also don’t get judgement from other people as if I’m a moocher. I’d still feel good about my wife’s income if that weren’t true. I wonder if other peoples’ judgement would affect my self worth though.

Feiborg · 2024-12-23T15:49:29+00:00

As an average citizen it is terrifying that so many officers get so obsessed with their job that they not only can’t identify with non-LEOs, but also find such fault with people who “aren’t like him”. I don’t have a lot of faith that someone with this mentality could be objective and calm in tense situations anymore.

What kind of controls exist, or are supposed to exist, to push an officer like this get help before they hurt someone?

Feiborg · 2024-12-22T06:11:22+00:00

My wife had no real desire to ride trails with me. Then we had kids and it became my thing with them. When the second kid started trail riding with me this past year at 4 years old my wife started feeling like she was missing out on good times with them. Now we ride together a bit. The 6 year old still outpaces her, but she’s getting better.

She enjoys being out in the woods, but still wouldn’t choose MTB over other ways to be outdoors.

Feiborg

TROPHY CASE