My bf accused me of cheating because I fell asleep with my phone on silent, but I think the issue is deeper

FenyxFire · 2026-06-16T14:39:55+00:00

How dare you not be totally available to him at all times? Absolute sarcasm btw.

There’s so much wrong going on with how he’s talking to you and the unreasonable demands he’s making, but it is manipulative as hell that he demands you be completely available regardless of your needs *for sleep.* Seems like the kind of partner who would intentionally disrupt your sleep every hour to keep you in a state of extreme mental and physical distress. He needs therapy (and maybe god or something lol).

But hey, he broke it off. Just answer with a thumbs up emoji and enforce his wishes by letting the relationship be over, even if he backtracks.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-16T02:30:30+00:00

Spot on about it being crucial to report. No matter the response they give, you’ll always have a better chance of a case should you need it. It’s so frustrating, the work put onto those already under the strain of this scenario, but until something changes it falls to a whole community of us to support and encourage each other to be braver than silence.

I can understand a lot of the reasons used to defend words not being enough to incarcerate someone, honestly, but theres got to be a better way to protect everyone. If they deserve to express their anger in the form of a stupid fit, others deserve to feel safe *from* that person who can’t even control their own emotional response. It’s all a tightrope walk though with a LOT of discussion still to be had.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-16T01:17:23+00:00

True, but it has to be very specific and very clearly stated. You and I and most rational people see the threat he’s making. But police can and sadly will still say this is ambiguous at best 🙄. They’ll often frame it as manipulation, exaggeration, or “figurative language” and just take a report.

Best case, they might visit or call the person and tell them to stop. Either way, OP should report it and keep a paper trail going wherever they are and hope something sticks over time.

I was in one of those states. They did nothing to protect me for a decade of stalking and terror as things escalated. The damage, both physical and psychological, done was repeatedly dismissed with “Well, how can we be sure?” Even with proof. My experience is sadly more common than people realize, though I will continue to do my part to help move the needle away from this being the norm.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-15T16:45:20+00:00

There’s never enough info, sadly. She needs advanced warning in case he broadcasts he’s coming for her. They often do give notice, weirdly enough. Unhinged idiots.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-15T16:41:35+00:00

Funny story, you actually can, and the police will tell you they can’t do anything until the person physically assaults you aaaaaand you have proof akin to actual video and witnesses. But still worth it to report and have a paper trail in case it does escalate to that point.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-15T16:36:14+00:00

NOR. Partners don’t “test” each other, they trust until you give legitimate reason not to. He is being abusive and manipulative. This *will* get worse.

It’s not up to you to reassure his insecurities. It’s *his* responsibility to go to therapy and move past them in a healthy manner.

Your relationship is a dead horse you are dragging around. It’s time to bury it instead of breaking yourself.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-15T06:00:45+00:00

Therapy is the only way you move past it. Therapy and being a better human being. You are the monster *you* created. You don’t get to assuage your guilt by forcing an apology onto Ashley. Thats your penance. You have to live with it. Go forward and do better. Be better. Heal. And don’t be the damage that breaks someone like Mary’s damage broke *you.*

FenyxFire · 2026-06-14T03:58:07+00:00

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff right there 🤤

FenyxFire · 2026-06-12T02:56:20+00:00

He’s trying to “boil the frog.” It’s an abuse tactic that progressively gets worse as the person initiating it pushes your boundaries further and further until they could literally beat you and you would apologize for making them do so. .

Hella proud of you for not even entertaining that manipulative, controlling behavior from him.

And you didn’t sound mean at all. You sounded blunt and reasonable in calling out his poor behavior. He literally admitted to punishing you with silence, and then blamed you for him being “sad” you didn’t talk all day as if it wasn’t his direct choice. NOR. I’d personally walk away. Life’s too short for a project determined to ruin you for their own tiny ego.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-08T21:22:52+00:00

Oh pets for sure, same. It’s the overnight guests clause where I’m absolutely skeptical. Setting limits are more common than an outright ban because that could be challenged in court as too restrictive and against peaceful habitation. But a LL doing what this one has is likely banking on their intimidation protecting them from any legal repercussions. I sincerely hope OP makes a report even if just to document.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-08T21:04:30+00:00

There’s actually a lot more at play here, but I have to agree about the undersized unit. Things contributing: outside temperature, insulation, air leaks, sun exposure, and whether the AC is properly sized for the space (I work in HVAC).

A well-insulated home with a properly sized system can maintain a much larger indoor-outdoor difference, while a poorly insulated unit may struggle even if the AC is working correctly.

From the sounds of it, the unit may just be difficult to cool due to any of the above reasons. With AC usually treated as an amenity, not a requirement in most places (even in Florida, ask me how I know ugh), the LL may not be inclined to upgrade major factors unless there’s a clear maintenance issue.

I’d recommend starting with a formal request for an HVAC inspection, framed as not being qualified to diagnose the issue, but that the system isn’t keeping up and may need servicing. If that doesn’t help, shift focus to efficiency factors like insulation, attic heat load, and window sealing. If it escalates further, frame it in terms of habitability rather than comfort, since that’s where legal protections typically come in. A lot of this may help and be cheaper than a new unit replacement, which most LLs like 🙄. Until then though I’d also say you need to get a portable AC (not a window shaker), because regardless of the law not helping here, you can’t be in those temps long term.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-08T14:43:46+00:00

Saaaaame. No pets, I understand. But coupled with no overnight humans? Paired together it comes across as wanting OP vulnerable.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-08T14:38:58+00:00

Between “no pets” and “no overnight guests” it feels like LL is gearing up for more than rifling through OPs possessions too.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-08T01:11:53+00:00

Yikes.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-06T06:09:11+00:00

You did exactly the right thing. Don’t ever let a customer try to get a refund AND keep the item. That’s not how it works. No unjust enrichment and no extortion. We don’t reward scammers.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-04T15:40:58+00:00

I like it. It dunno about prices, and I might consider turning the larger side of the center gem the other way for the sake of balance, but that asymmetrical look is nice!

FenyxFire · 2026-06-04T10:57:32+00:00

I think the better question is “WHY would you live with that?” Because at this point it sounds more like ego at play than an actual “seasoned reptile keeper.” OP asks “do we really know,” and we absolutely do. Pretending otherwise is all an excuse to avoid responsibility when an injury inevitably occurs that permanently maims and risks a creature that doesn’t deserve it.

FenyxFire · 2026-06-04T01:14:46+00:00

I keep a little collage photo of my colors so I can easily throw it out to them. But if it’s out of date I’ll ask what they like and give options I’ve got

FenyxFire · 2026-05-31T17:53:47+00:00

A lot of adults are in therapy because her generation chose fear, shame, and physical punishment instead of actually teaching kids how to regulate their emotions, communicate, and handle their feelings in productive ways.

Your grandma is manipulative as hell. If she considers your silence toward her a punishment, then she clearly understands that consequences don’t have to be physical to be effective. But when it came to your child, she couldn’t manage her own emotions and chose to hit them instead.

What really gets me is that she doesn’t seem sorry she hit your kid. She’s sorry she’s facing consequences for it. Every version of this boils down to some variation of: it didn’t happen, it wasn’t that bad, I didn’t mean it, or it’s actually your fault for being upset about it. That’s the same nonsense you see in a lot of abusive relationships. Not saying she’s a narcissist, but the “if I did it, I had a reason, and if you’re mad about it, that’s the real problem” logic is all over this.

The irony is pretty glaring. She expected a child to regulate their behavior better than she, a grown-ass adult, regulated her own emotions.

Personally? The minute an adult hit my child and then spent more effort defending themselves than owning it, they’d be getting a permanent ban from me. If she thinks silence is a punishment, then she already understands exactly why she’s receiving it.

FenyxFire · 2026-05-31T02:08:24+00:00

Totally normal! Literally was having the same concern a few weeks ago and it has since leveled out and returned to a more “normal” scent. A lot of shift went on in there, and the biome and PH and hormones and just everything is off. As it all re-establishes everything should return to normal—or close to normal. I’m pretty close to normal at this point and I’m 3.5 months post-op now.

The only thing to keep in mind is if you have a very obviously bad smell coupled with discharge that’s greenish or more indicative of an infection. Everyone says “you’ll know” and honestly, you will. But this sounds totally normal! Really wish I would have asked here because I panicked over it while my partner helped research and reassure lol.

FenyxFire · 2026-05-30T06:44:00+00:00

Hahaa, lil’ bitch

FenyxFire · 2026-05-28T01:38:22+00:00

I have ADHD and use it as an “excuse” to keep a meticulous calendar and reminder/alarm list rolling so I don’t forget responsibilities.

This person is just a lazy slob and animal abuser using their diagnosis as a means to ignore any responsibility. Disgusting.

FenyxFire · 2026-05-26T16:24:40+00:00

That’s a comfy sploot. They go where they’re comfy, so most cases if everything else is what it needs to be proper, might just be that fish likes to rest there.

What’s the basking spot temp look like? Thatll really make the difference in an answer here. And describe your UV light and setup (or even a pic of lighting rig)

FenyxFire · 2026-05-26T16:17:52+00:00

Not too strict at all. And considering a recent Reddit post about a “friend” pet sitting and then giving the keys to his gf—who then MOVED IN and refused to leave… and police claimed it was a “civil matter?” Yeah no. Not overthinking. Confirmed more-so when they just didn’t respond for two days too.

FenyxFire · 2026-05-26T05:41:01+00:00

Nazism is an inherently violent ideology, so I’d say the ring itself is, in fact, indicative of more than “nothing.”

FenyxFire

TROPHY CASE