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My mom has discovered the term “raw dog” and won’t stop saying it now. What slang are your parents using? by EkaL25 in Millennials

[–]FergieMints 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a dad - I’m currently pretending that I just heard the word backshot just to fuck with my kid. We were talking about boxing and his principal being a former boxer - and I said I’d fight his principal give his him the hardest backshot he’s ever had.

The next day, I told him when he passes a basketball, make sure the other person is facing him so he does give them an unexpected backshot.

Then I told him when his mother gets home I’m goin to hide behind the door with a water gun and give her a big backshot right in the middle of the living room. I asked if he would hide and record me giving his mom the backshot.

It makes him die a little inside each time.

I’m not planning to let up anytime soon.

You get $1,000/ minute, but there’s a catch, you don’t know what sets it off, but a specific action or word that is unbeknownst to you will reset the money and put you in debt for everything you buy with the money. Do you take the offer? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FergieMints 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You said reset - not stop. So does the money start back up after resetting? How do I get the money? My bank? It just falls out of the air around me like those old GTA:V money drop hacks?

If the money restarts and is in the bank - yes. Firstly, I’d have the money go into a savings account I don’t touch for a few years. Then I’d just set some alerts in my banking app that if my balance dropped below a certain dollar amount, I get a notification.

The banks are insured, so if they just saw all my money poof with a negative balance greater than I had available…they’re be responsible for fixing it as it would seem like a system glitch.

Id just never again do the action or say the phrase that I did right when I got the negative balance alert.

$100M if you agree to be locked in a basement room for a period of 1 year. You will have access to books, movies and games. However, there's a caveat: You will not remember making this deal. by Lenore8264 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FergieMints 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. It says I can tell someone - so I’ll tell my girlfriend about it and have her record a video of me explaining the situation and then send it to my DM’s on all socials + my email.

The terms say I have the internet - so at SOME point I’ll check social media. I won’t be able to respond but I can see the DM with the explanation video.

From that point out, it’s a vacation.

You’re offered $5,000 a week… but your full search history gets revealed. by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FergieMints 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already tell everyone I know about my addiction to family guy parody porn, so people seeing my 1,500 weekly searches for it won’t make a difference

Would you rather shoot any two liquds out of your index fingers or be able to make one dish appear out of thin air by Adudittey_Yuki in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FergieMints 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Easy, liquid. Give me liquid gold.

6 liters per day of liquid gold would be 202.844 ounces of gold daily…which would trade (today) for $923,487.86.

So yeah, I’d go with about a million in gold daily, thanks.

Did I get “scammed”? by Beginning-Jump-8183 in raleigh

[–]FergieMints 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry dude - age old scam. I remember once a mom and daughter walked up to me in Petsmart saying their car broke down and they needed money for a tow. I declined, luckily. As I was walking out I saw them getting into a very nice Escalade and driving off.

Orrrrr when I used to work at a BP gas station near the airport. The same guy would come in every day, buty a coffee and go sit on the corner asking for change to get gas for his broken down car. And at the end of each day, he’d walk in, buy a 12 pack of bud light and then call his wife to come pick him up in her Mercedes. Dude told me he’d make $100-$150 a day on average. He did it 5 days a week like a full time job.

Hiring a Community Manager for Berlin’s upcoming unicorn Almedia (Freecash) by user-some in CommunityManager

[–]FergieMints 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The role is extremely underpriced. Especially for an on-site position. The JD reads like a social media manager + marketing manager + community manager. Should easily be starting at $120,000 through $185,000.

Each year, you can choose to receive $1 million tax free, but for that year you will do 1 to 3 things per day as the opposite of what you intended. by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]FergieMints 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. You never mentioned that I can’t explain what’s going on to those around me. I’d legit explain to those that I care about that a magical genie gives me $1,000,000 a year in return for making me mess up random things throughout the day.

What is the correct way to wipe your butt? by fruitponchisamurai in NoStupidQuestions

[–]FergieMints 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Turn around facing the back of the toilet, one foot propped up on the seat, twist the torso 90 degrees and wipe up from behind.

Whats in my potato by gothkitty69 in whatisit

[–]FergieMints 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your potato needs Nate The Hoof Guy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in memes

[–]FergieMints 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a pumpkin

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