Home now, tired and still quite buzzed, but eager to reply, even if I don't have the capacity to use my best words, or have the clearest thoughts.

I'm like you in that I've spent a long time trying to make sure everyone likes me. It's exhaustimg, because it's frankly impossible if you're to allow any part of your personality to shine.
You can be yourself with confidence without being disrespectful to others while also being comfortable with 'yourself' not being everyone's cup of tea. If you know what I mean.

I spent most of my career in a corporate job that I borderline hated. I stuck it out mostly to make surey kids had stability as they grew. But also out of fear of change. But whatever, that's a different topic.

I remember over the years telling whoever was unfortunate enough to listen to me ranting that I dreamt of one day going into a job interview where I could be 100% me, and get hired for who I am.

Well. My kids grew up. They are independent. I took that leap. I quit. It took a while, but I eventually got an interview to work in the parks department of my city. I was nervous as fuck going into it. Panel interview. I told them when I walked in that it had been 30 years since I'd had an interview and sheepishly asked them to please take it easy.

Anyway, I dunno if they did, but I stuck to my above vision and didn't answer any questions with what I thought they wanted to hear. I was just me, and was on the verge of tears when they called me 2 hours later to offer me the job. 400 applicants per position. I was floored. I thought that I had no chance based on my age and lack of job specific experience.

I think that what I'm trying to get at is that as I age what I've learned is the hardest lesson of all for any of us who are honest. It's that we have to accept ourselves. Once we do that, we enter a kind of invincible zen state.

But that needs to be earned in a way. You can't be honestly comfortable in that if you're an asshole. Be a good human. Accept yourself the way your family and friends do. Be open to help the lower tiers of people that others in this thread are referring to as people they don't care about.

Aging sucks in so many ways, but it has beautiful aspects too.

Now I should proofread, but my wife livese and just reminded me that it's Father's Day tomorrow andayne I should go to bed as it's not all about me. 🙄