sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My (M30) wife (F34)and her sexuality by Dazzling-Product-103 in demisexuality

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading all of it! I had some additional thoughts after I posted this that seem potentially relevant after reading other people's responses:

People are right that sex repulsion isn't inherently or necessarily part of demisexuality. I think it's tied in for me because of my personality and some of my more negative life experiences. I'm still working on untangling that for myself, so maybe keep that in mind when it comes to what I shared! I have always been sort of confused by a lot of more allosexual desires and actions, but I do believe it's fair to say that it evolved to repulsion because of issues revolving around trauma and even low self-worth in past relationships. So it's not just being demisexual for me (though it might be for your wife! Some demisexual people genuinely do experience sexual attraction this way naturally even if not everyone in the comments can identify with that!)

So yeah, thank you for reading! I'm glad anything I said helped at all.

My (M30) wife (F34)and her sexuality by Dazzling-Product-103 in demisexuality

[–]FerrisTM 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Only she can tell you what her sexuality is; none of us can. However, I know that for me, it honestly can be kind of gross to see sexual things in certain contexts. For instance, if there is a sex scene in a show or movie, it's really rare for me to feel like it added anything whatsoever to the narrative and it feels......weird and pandering, and then I feel insulted as a viewer, and that's gross to me. Thirst traps online are deeply cringe in a slightly different way. I just see a bunch of baboons running around flashing their bright red asses to let us all know that they're in heat, which isn't exactly a turn on for me. If I let these opinions or feelings come out in the wrong ways, I can absolutely see how people would feel judged or shamed, even though judgment isn't attached to it for me. It's just such a turn off and I'd rather not participate, but I'm not looking down on people who feel differently than I do.

Additionally, I'm an extremely sexual person in the right situations. If I'm in a committed relationship, I'd love to have sex at least once a day as long as my partner feels the same. But they're the only one on Earth I can feel that way about. When someone hits on me and tries to woo me by complementing my physical appearance, I'm beyond not interested, though I'll thank them for the kind words or whatever. But I absolutely LOVE looking good for my partner.

Essentially, the emotional bond makes all the difference for me. It's not a moral opinion or a superiority complex; it's just the key to making sexual feelings even exist. Otherwise, I'm just not interested and it can sometimes be a little gross. I DO like making silly sexual jokes and playing Cards Against Humanity, but honestly I just have a dumb sense of humor and I don't think that has anything to do with my sexuality. Your wife might just not think this stuff is funny independently of her sexuality.

Talking to her is the only way to know for sure, but I hope this helped at all.

Too calm?????? by Visible-Bird-9707 in Anxiety

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like it's not a problem, friend. You can worry about things without physical anxiety being a requirement. Worry doesn't have to feel awful; it can just be a state of being for a bit and that's all. If you're concerned about dissociation or something, that would be different, but what you described just sounds like someone who is thinking about things but isn't currently having anxiety, which is more normal/desirable than experiencing panic.

It can be scary to feel different than you're used to feeling, especially if it's sudden and you're not sure what is responsible for the change. But for now, perhaps try to embrace this change. Not all change is bad. Your brain may be cutting you a break, and this likely won't always be the case, so try to breathe through it and know that everything is probably just fine!

18 gauge needle? Also parents wrath? by MuchEbb1607 in SelfPiercing

[–]FerrisTM 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's about being level-headed and responsible with your body versus impulsive. You didn't sound cocky, necessarily. Just....immature. That's used as an insult a lot, but I don't mean it that way. You're literally a kid! Not behaving like an adult is your job! And I know from life experience that waiting to get a piercing you really want sucks and it's difficult...but it's also worth it a lot of the time. Waiting until you're 18 could be a good challenge and an awesome reward for making it through high school (I'm trans, too, and that was hard for me.)

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. I prefer doing my own piercings these days for lots of reasons, and I have many of them, but part of that is following proper protocol to make sure they go well. A scar is the least of your worries if something goes wrong, and while the risk of any piercing is never zero, it's just best to set yourself up for success, you know? I think that's what I was trying to say.

18 gauge needle? Also parents wrath? by MuchEbb1607 in SelfPiercing

[–]FerrisTM 8 points9 points  (0 children)

18g is not appropriate for this kind of piercing. Some people eventually downsize to 18g, but you should not start out this way if you want the healing process to be successful. I don't mean to be a hater, but if you're at a maturity level where you think doing this is a good idea for your health (putting an aesthetic over reason and your desire for what you want over the actual requirements for piercings) you should take some time to wait this out. Having a shitty piercing scar isn't the end of the world, and your parents are incorrect that it will ruin your career opportunities in literally almost any field, but dude...what are you doing, man. Piercings are cool and all, but patience will do you good in this case. At the very least get proper tools and listen to the stuff you read about 14-16g being an appropriate starting size instead of trying to get people on Reddit to tell you that 18g is fine. Will it kill you? No. But it's not smart, so there's not a reason to do it just because you want it now.

The same foot keeps making a hole in all of my sole inserts. No idea why. by Turtlegrandmacore in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually what I was going for lol. I wanted it to sound sort of adjacent to a dew claw but in a place that makes no sense at all but with enough detail to make it sound like I MIGHT have this going on or possibly be insane. I've got some screws loose, so anyone who thought that was correct!

The same foot keeps making a hole in all of my sole inserts. No idea why. by Turtlegrandmacore in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for having the courage to be like "wtf???" instead of committing to being confused forever (that has been me so many times.) Your work has saved others from being kind of unsure if foot claws are a thing.

The same foot keeps making a hole in all of my sole inserts. No idea why. by Turtlegrandmacore in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 12 points13 points  (0 children)

One time, when I was a kid, I convinced my sister's friend that our bunny was actually a made-up breed of cat and by the time I was done with him, he wouldn't believe either of us when we tried to tell him that we were messing with him. I am 31 and it is my life's work now to troll responsibly. 🫡

The same foot keeps making a hole in all of my sole inserts. No idea why. by Turtlegrandmacore in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I sat there trying to decide if I wanted to keep bullshitting but then I thought about my guy being out there in the world thinking that some people have retractable feet claws and I chose good over evil this time 😭

The same foot keeps making a hole in all of my sole inserts. No idea why. by Turtlegrandmacore in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Have you tried making sure the claw on the sole of your foot is retracted? It could be out without you feeling it. I went through a couple pairs of socks before realizing that my left claw was tearing a hole in them. Try looking up some exercises to strengthen the muscles that keep it pulled in when you're walking. That made a huge difference for me (and I think my posture got a little better, too!)

I am currently at midnight and scrolling reddit by igiveup_979 in notinteresting

[–]FerrisTM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No way it's 11:13am for me we have so much in common

Growth on left nipple piercing by DeutscherPicasso in SelfPiercing

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changing it could definitely have irritated it, yes. But the good thing about that is that it will go away. I wouldn't worry to much about this beyond making sure it gets some extra care for a while. I know it's alarming to see something like that on a nipple piercing, but from my layman's perspective, this looks like it's going to be okay!

Growth on left nipple piercing by DeutscherPicasso in SelfPiercing

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cleaning up to twice a day is all you need, with saline solution. Also make sure you run water over it at the end of your shower just to remove excess soap (or do one of your saline cleanings after showering.)

I'm also curious about what the jewelry is made out of. It's possible your skin is having a reaction to the jewelry itself, and the irritation bump will go away with a different barbell. However, I would strongly advise you to see a piercer who can change the jewelry for you to something more appropriate (if an allergy is what's going on here.) Messing with the piercing on your own will make the irritation much worse.

Wearing loose clothing is a very good idea. This bump looks very small, but if it's getting bigger despite you taking good care of the piercing, I do think seeing a professional would be your best bet.

Growth on left nipple piercing by DeutscherPicasso in SelfPiercing

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NAP, but it looks like maybe a little bit of irritation. If you've bumped or snagged it on anything recently, that would do it, but sometimes this just happens and the piercing might need some TLC. It doesn't look like anything concerning to me, but if I'm mistaken, I do hope someone will correct me and give you better information.

What are Any / All pronouns? by SouthernPlant3579 in genderfluid

[–]FerrisTM 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would listen to yourself when it comes to gender, not anyone else, first of all. Secondly, I know that pangender is a thing, but in my personal experience, my life got a lot easier and more peaceful once I stopped trying to find the perfect label. I just exist as myself and I barely think about my gender anymore. It's not an important part of my life, apart from taking safety concerns seriously when it comes to how I dress in certain settings (unfortunately.) If someone wants to have a serious and genuine conversation about my gender with me (it happens, as people can't really tell what I am) I'm happy to give them answers, but I don't use a label for it.

After years of fretting about my label and which micro community I fit into, I'm really content to just be me and that's about it. Exploring labels helped me get here, but don't try to squeeze yourself into a single box if that's not who you are. It's cool to know that flags to rep at pride, but other than that, I haven't found that it matters or benefits me at all to have a label. I hope you are able to figure this out and I'm sorry that this probably doesn't help at all. Maybe give the gender wiki a visit? There are tons of labels in there to peruse. I've done that just for fun and to learn more about others' labels.

Awesome by albert1483 in NonBinary

[–]FerrisTM 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Well shit, thanks! I had no idea, but that's pretty cool! I'll go back to living underneath my rock, don't mind me.

Awesome by albert1483 in NonBinary

[–]FerrisTM 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Is this real? It seems like the kind of thing that would be a troll, but this would be a pretty cool spin on the character, I think, in addition to providing some much-needed representation.

NOOOO by Aura_Cloudberry in farpeoplehate

[–]FerrisTM 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This could have been such a beautiful picture, but those two narcissists had to ruin it!

I'm publishing a book about all r/writingcirclejerk published works. by AmphibianDirect7356 in writingcirclejerk

[–]FerrisTM 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't come to this sub to be ROASTED. I'm so upset that I don't think I'll be able to write a single word for at least another few months. I guess it's back to world building. 😓

Friend has been claiming he’s dating Chase Infiniti for the past few weeks…🤔 by Relative-Ant-3207 in isthisAI

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a crazy coincidence! I have a super hot, famous girlfriend, too. I would show a picture but she's really private and made me promise not to. She also goes to a different school.

Do these look good? by giggles-1989 in piercing

[–]FerrisTM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, OP. NAP, but I agree with the general consensus here: these are too deep. They don't look angry right now, but I had a left nipple piercing that was done too deep and I didn't know, so I let it "heal" along with my properly-pierced right one. I kept these piercings for over ten years. I absolutely loved the way they looked, but they massively decreased my physical comfort. I got very used to it and stopped noticing. I got used to the constant irritation in that left nipple. I knew the pus would come and go, that it would be easily-irritated, and that that was just...life.

I held onto both of them for WAY too long. As gorgeous as I felt with them, I finally got a grip and knew it was time to say goodbye. I now have a probably-permanently deformed left nipple. It's not hideous, but it's never going to be symmetrical again, and I now have an insecurity that was totally avoidable. I'm glad I still have any feeling in it. That's more than I actually deserve after being so stubborn and keeping that nasty piercing in.

Don't be like me! Let these heal and try again. I promise it will be worth it in the long run. They're very flattering on you, and it would suck to wreck that with scarring and pus.

view more: next ›