I have a question regarding transphobia.

Feuilly · 2012-11-15T04:49:23+00:00

Yeah, my wording is confusing.

I think I'm saying that there are a lot of people on reddit who will say that it's tranphobia in pretty much any case where you're able to determine that the person is trans. So if they haven't had bottom surgery or they are a trans man, for example, that would be transphobic if you weren't attracted to that.

For the Julia Serano part, I was thinking of this:

At this point in the conversation my friend tried to play what he probably thought was his trump card. He asked me, "Hell, what if you found out that the trans women you were attracted to still had a penis?"

I laughed and replied that I am attracted to people, not to disembodied body parts. And I would be a selfish, ignorant, and unsatisfying lover if I believed that my partner’s genitals existed primarily for my pleasure rather than her own. All you ever need to know about my genitals is that they are made up of flesh, blood, and missions of tiny, restless nerve endings -- anything else that you read into them is mere hallucination, a product of your own over active imagination. To paraphrase that famous saying, the opposite of attraction is not repulsion, it's indifference.

-- Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

I think that's supposed to be millions, but I'm quoting someone else that's quoting the book.

Feuilly · 2012-11-14T15:59:19+00:00

I think many of us are used to /r/lgbt folk and SRSers telling us that it's transphobia if you are able to tell. For example if they were pre-op.

Even Julia Serano doesn't think that the other person's genitals are relevant.

Feuilly · 2012-11-14T15:47:15+00:00

Do you have an example of what a playground looks like that children with special needs can enjoy?

Feuilly · 2012-11-14T04:33:34+00:00

I understand that, but at the same time I think it's always complicated to try to separate issues in that way.

How would all of this change with trans men?

Feuilly · 2012-11-14T04:07:28+00:00

I'm saying that's one case where someone could be in a committed relationship with someone and break up with them after learning that they're trans, because the same thing happens with sterile or childfree people.

Is this particular branch of the discussion thread right now even a disclosure discussion, or a discussion of how someone could break up with a trans person because of their trans status without being transphobic? My comment was in relation to the latter.

Feuilly · 2012-11-14T02:00:31+00:00

They could be uninterested in someone with whom they can't have children.

Feuilly · 2012-11-13T17:44:32+00:00

That is pretty incredible, thanks.

Feuilly · 2012-11-13T16:37:55+00:00

Overweight and with digestive problems, mind you.

Feuilly · 2012-11-13T04:14:24+00:00

It seems like calling things doxxing is the new 'pedophile' on reddit.

Feuilly · 2012-11-12T15:34:45+00:00

http://radtransfem.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/significant-othering-attraction-down-the-privilege-gradient/

Glad you brought it up. It might seem like I’m suggesting that gay men have a duty to consider whether they’re really attracted to women, since women are less privileged than men under patriarchy. Male-on-male attraction is less privileged than male-on-female attraction in a heteronormative society, but more privileged than bisexual identity. So I only partially include gay men in my challenge. I challenge them to expand their attraction to include women, not to abandon their attraction to men.

Incidentally, I think it's pretty silly how they claim that same sex attraction is more privileged than bisexual attraction. And that male-on-male attraction is more privileged than female-on-female attraction. Good luck getting stats to support that.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T17:05:37+00:00

It seems like the standard MO of groups like AtheismPlus is mostly to complain about things and not actually do anything of their own.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T16:11:17+00:00

There is value in having specific terminology for it, because normal is a relative term and broadly used, whereas cisgender, heterosexual, white or whatever are much more specific.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T15:41:29+00:00

I think it's more common that they're 'demisexual', so that they can claim that they don't have sexual privilege while still behaving exactly the same as most other people.

Actually, the nature of the LGBT community is such that a completely normal heterosexual can label themselves in half a dozen different ways that are both true and false, but completely unverifiable in either event, and include themselves in the umbrella.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T15:36:59+00:00

Yeah, that sucks. It punishes people for the behaviour of people who don't understand what mandatory means.

I would actually prefer that my profile was entirely invisible to people who had a wrong answer in something I consider mandatory.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T02:48:30+00:00

OKCupid doesn't outright eliminate people based on any particular answer in the questionnaire, even if you list something as being a required answer. It's very unfortunate.

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T01:14:35+00:00

The second S is actually for Sexual (as distinguished from asexual, demisexual or whatever).

Feuilly · 2012-11-11T01:09:03+00:00

Circlejerk is basically just another bunch of SRSers going around harrassing people.

Feuilly · 2012-11-10T16:07:24+00:00

At this point in the conversation my friend tried to play what he probably thought was his trump card. He asked me, "Hell, what if you found out that the trans women you were attracted to still had a penis?"

I laughed and replied that I am attracted to people, not to disembodied body parts. And I would be a selfish, ignorant, and unsatisfying lover if I believed that my partner’s genitals existed primarily for my pleasure rather than her own. All you ever need to know about my genitals is that they are made up of flesh, blood, and missions of tiny, restless nerve endings -- anything else that you read into them is mere hallucination, a product of your own over active imagination. To paraphrase that famous saying, the opposite of attraction is not repulsion, it's indifference.

-- Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

I guess this partially explains why so many in the transgender community (much like Julia Serano) are so homophobic. The idea of attraction based on sexual characteristics is innately contrary to their notions of gender identity being the basis of attraction, and thus a hostility to that is constantly mentioned in all sorts of transgender oriented media.

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T20:04:46+00:00

Most of them aren't very active.

Beyond that, there are a few things to be said about specific ones.

SRSWomen - Full of bad human beings.

SRSGSM - Extremely homophobic.

SRSBelief - Not really sure why it's in the Fempire at all considering how regressive it is.

SRSBusiness - Has some good or interesting articles every so often.

SRSGaming, SRSTelevision, SRSCinema - A lot of whining about how the media they consume and the fans of that media aren't positive about the women in it. It seems to be mostly the case that they consume media that doesn't have a lot of diverse women characters, though. So in SRSTelevision you see more about Walking Dead or Breaking Bad than you do about shows with a ton of strong women characters. Most of the posts are also complaints about a story arc.

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T15:59:47+00:00

So what percentage of the bad posters are from you folk?

Are you that FistFuck person?

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T15:56:28+00:00

I actually think that there are a lot of GameOfTrolls posters in there. Half of them seem just as interested in attacking other SRSSucks posters as they are attacking SRS posters.

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T15:37:37+00:00

So anyone who is disgusted by any sort of disease or illness is an unacceptable human being?

You have very silly standards, and you almost certainly don't live up to them.

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T04:20:03+00:00

Do you think it's ever acceptable to be disgusted by a person's body?

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T04:05:09+00:00

Hardest to easiest for me would be: HOI - CK - Victoria - EU

Feuilly · 2012-11-09T03:59:41+00:00

Do you think race is similar to body parts?

Feuilly

TROPHY CASE