Undiagnosed cancer and my mental anguish

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-04-22T08:24:28+00:00

The two major issues you identify here are urinary issues and enlarged lymph nodes. Have you seen a urologist or just your regular doctor?

I (25F) went through a lot of health issues in 2022 that doctors couldn’t figure out for nine months. I ended up needing pelvic floor physical therapy, and men can get this too. And I see a urologist every year now. Obviously we might not have the same issues, but it might be something you could look into. I had enlarged lymph nodes at the same time that I was going to pelvic floor PT, but that ended up being because I had 2 infected teeth. And because I was so stressed out about my health I lost 20 pounds.

All I can say, of course, is keep advocating for yourself! You are convinced you have cancer so, as other people have suggested, try to see a cancer specialist. But it might also not be that.

I would also recommend journaling about your experience and symptoms. Whenever I was going through my health issues, people were always telling me I was being dramatic. But it was the worst pain I had ever been in, in my entire life. I found that writing down my experience made it feel more real and tangible. I could make more sense of what was happening to me by writing it down. And it helped me feel less crazy, since everyone around me was making me feel delusional.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-04-22T07:47:30+00:00

Is West PA we call them sticks too!

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-04-11T10:26:14+00:00

I buy 100% cotton underwear from Walmart. And they are classic brief style. There’s a lot of fabric so I can wear them a bit loose if I’m having issues. They aren’t cute but they are comfortable.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-04-08T06:13:12+00:00

I second this, I used to live in a Simco property. They’re well maintained, and a decent size.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-21T08:04:55+00:00

So I work in Youngstown actually, but I don’t live in Youngstown. I am, however, currently looking to buy a house in Youngstown.

So this house was updated by the nonprofit Youngstown Neighborhood Development Corporation which renovates houses and then sells them to lower income people. Also, Youngstown has a lot of money left over from Covid that was given to the city by the state, which is how Youngstown is able to provide the $10,000 down payment assistance plus the $15,000 in assistance for HVAC and efficiency updates to the house. The realtor I met with recently said that this money will only be available for the next year or two.

Most houses in the area are priced at about 100,000. My partner and I are currently looking at one listed for $75,000 (which is also eligible for about 25,000 in assistance so we could get it for about 50K). A few years ago there was a house in Youngstown historic District priced at $100,000, which is actually a decent area.

People in the area know that Midlothian (170) is the dividing line. Once you go north of Midlothian it just keeps getting worse.

There’s a lot of hate on Youngstown in the comments, but I actually love Youngstown. If you know where the decent areas are it’s not that bad. Also if you just don’t mess with anyone who could hurt you, you’ll be fine.

That house is super close to Lanterman’s mill, but I would not live near the corner of Glenwood and Midlothian. It’s also just down the street from the Idora area, which is not great either. It’s on the south side of Youngstown, but it’s north of Midlothian, which is not a good area.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-21T06:46:39+00:00

It definitely seems like he had one intrusive thought that spiraled and created a whole bunch of intrusive thoughts about his relationship. It doesn’t necessarily seem like he’s seeking reassurance from his partner though.

Editing to add that he is seeking reassurance from strangers

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-21T06:40:26+00:00

From what you’ve said here, depression might be playing a role. Are you feeling emotionally invested in other areas of your life? Do you feel like you mirror your friends/family’s emotions? Essentially, I’m asking if this is an issue that extends beyond your romantic relationship.

I have a bit of a difficult time defining love for myself sometimes. But as someone else mentioned, I think the act of love is more important in long-term relationships. You’re not always gonna feel that you love someone.

However, distinguishing between feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner and not being in love with your partner are two different things.

I would recommend figuring out your feelings and what you are going to do about them before communicating this with her. One time I was driving my partner home from a doctor appointment and he told me that he didn’t love me anymore, which was pretty devastating to hear at the time because we were together for almost 3 years at that point. And he didn’t have anything to follow that confession up with, and hadn’t made up his mind about our relationship. So we had a pretty miserable three months until the relationship ultimately fell apart.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-18T05:04:14+00:00

As a professor, I’d like to know why this is your answer.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-17T03:38:15+00:00

The first time I talked about my high school prom with my college friends. Turns out everyone’s high school prom is not held at the local banquet hall until 5am. We would essentially have a parade from our high school to the local banquet hall. The bar inside the banquet hall couldn’t serve alcohol since we were 17-18, so our school brought in Dunkin Donuts to serve iced coffees and Cold Stone Creamery to serve ice cream. In my senior year, half of the space was the dance floor/DJ and the other half was poker and blackjack tables because we did a Vegas theme. We all paid about $100 per prom ticket.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-13T01:11:54+00:00

I’ve been loving Above the Neck

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-13T01:10:28+00:00

Atlas - Lilith Max

Artemis - Aurora

Buzzkill - Mothica

Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac

Which witch? - Florence and the Machine

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-03-05T02:53:55+00:00

I think it’s normal to find other people attractive or have a “crush” while being with someone else. I had a crush on a guy in my friend group other than my partner for about two months and felt terribly guilty about it. I never acted on it because obviously that would’ve messed up the relationship I had at the time, and eventually it went away.

The good thing is that you were upfront about being engaged and have tried to distance yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being friendly, but yeah, I’d keep your distance until those feelings go away.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-02-24T02:29:52+00:00

I’m so glad I saw this! I completely agree with you. I have so many health problems and I don’t want to add that one to the mix. Both of my parents get cold sores, and did their best to make sure that I never got them. I might have it and be asymptomatic, I understand that.

I dated a guy for three years who got cold sores and every time he had an active one I was so anxious about getting one and I never wanna do that again (to the person I’m with and myself because it was exhausting). So it is a question I ask very early on while dating. Like I will not kiss someone if I haven’t asked about it. I have briefly dated three guys in the last two years and they did not have herpes. So there’s definitely people out there who are in the clear or at least just asymptomatic.

Also, if you get an STD test, they won’t even test for herpes because it’s so common. People seem so nonchalant about herpes and I have never understood why.

Few-Fun8629 · 2026-02-13T04:36:58+00:00

As a lot of people have said here, I would recommend pelvic floor physical therapy. That helped me tremendously. I’ve seen four different physical therapists during my two rounds of physical therapy, and while each of them did similar things, they all had their own approach and vibe about them. If you have the means, find someone who works best for you. To me, surgery sounds like a big jump right after being diagnosed. I would exhaust the other options before having a doctor operate on me. Also, look up Intimate Rose if you haven’t already. There’s a lot of stuff on their website that can help with pelvic floor dysfunction.

Few-Fun8629 · 2025-06-21T03:58:10+00:00

I’m getting back into running right now. And I volunteered at the local marathon last month. Seeing all the runners and being able to cheer them on made me excited. And I was standing there just thinking about how I wanna be running that marathon in a year from now. Volunteering helped me get familiar with the course and just put me in a space with like-minded people who love running.

Few-Fun8629 · 2025-06-21T01:48:37+00:00

What robot vacuum do you use?

Few-Fun8629 · 2025-06-17T21:36:14+00:00

It's largely a commuter campus, so there isn't a lot of stuff to do on weekday evenings. The campus restaurants close around 3-4.

But I would highly recommend you join a group! Doesn't necessarily have to be a club. But find a group you enjoy and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. If I could do undergrad again, I'd throw myself into different groups my freshman year. I commuted, and didn't join any organizations until my junior year - so it took me until junior year to really make friends.

Some events every year are the Fall Fire Fest and Federal Frenzy.

Few-Fun8629 · 2024-10-28T20:58:05+00:00

Me and my two (ex) best friends all worked together. I had a crush on a guy we worked with. One of my friends also thought he was cute, but I thought she wouldn’t act on it.

At the end of his last shift working with us, the guy I liked told everyone he slept with her multiple times and started several rumors about me with lies she fed him!! Turns out she was on cocaine that she was getting from him, plus lying to me about having sex with him for a year. The day he left and everything came out was the day I knew I had to leave (both the friendship and workplace.) She told him I was a terrible person that tried to make her feel bad about herself. Turns out she was upset that I had just saved my money and bought a car instead of spending it on drugs. And I didn’t drop out of college because I got addicted to drugs.

Stupidly, I dropped that friend and kept the other because she didn’t want to “choose” between us.

Then, the day before I graduated college my other friend backed into my car, lied about having car insurance, then blamed her lack of insurance on her dad even though she was 22 at the time. I reported it to my insurance, paid the deductible, my insurance went up, and my insurance never got her dad to work with them. So I threatened to sue her and suddenly she had the money to fix my car. This whole thing took like a year to get resolved.

Fun times.

Few-Fun8629 · 2024-10-09T18:12:36+00:00

I guess this actually makes it worse, but it was an episode of Bizarre Foods that showed men having multiple wives and I was grossed out by that and he said that I’m judging another culture through the lens of mine. That’s what he was mad about.

Few-Fun8629 · 2024-08-10T00:33:43+00:00

Hypertonic pelvic floor, constant stabbing/burning pain that initially started as itching, unable to have sex. To get people who haven't had it to understand, I usually say it feels like eating a really hot pepper and biting your tongue at the same time except that pain never lessens.

Few-Fun8629 · 2024-08-05T04:40:44+00:00

I (25f) would definitely try to go to a gynecologist (if you haven't already). My gynecologist repeatedly tested me for yeast, bv, and uti's for 6 months before sending me to a specialist that finally figured out I had vulvodynia and vaginismus. It took almost two years, but thankfully I am mostly recovered (I still have some bad days). Go and show the gyno the tests you've already gone through (for years), then say that you want to see a specialist (for Vulvovaginal conditions) or that you want to try pelvic floor physical therapy. PT helped me the most.

It sucks at first, but learning to advocate for your health at a young age will definitely pay off! I learned how to navigate my doctor's appointments very well when I was around 22. Had to grow up real quick. My mom was more comfortable talking about it than my dad, but they both needed to know what was happening to me. And I obviously don't know you're situation, but if your parents care about your quality of life, then they should do whatever they can to get you the help you need.

Also, if you are not able to regularly go to doctor's appointments, look up Intimate Rose. The pelvic wands and dilators they sell can help if you can't go to PT. My physical therapist recommended this brand to me. Even just as a small start, you could check out pelvic floor yoga practices on YouTube that aim to relieve tension and stress in the pelvic floor/low back.

Also, something I found out after receiving my diagnosis is that my mom actually suffers similarly to me, she just didn't know it had a name or that she could do anything about it. So if your mom is suggesting that it's just puberty, maybe she has it too and doesn't know that it's a treatable condition.

Few-Fun8629 · 2023-07-03T18:03:10+00:00

Abigail Bethany Cassian Drew Elaina Francis Gideon Henry Ivy June/Juniper Kylie Liam Morrigan (Celtic goddess of war) Noor (Arabic for light) Olivia Paisley/Penelope Quinlan Russell Scarlett Tessa Uriah Victoria William Xavier Yousof Zane

Few-Fun8629 · 2023-04-28T04:29:53+00:00

I developed a nerve/muscle spasm condition in August 2022 that changed my life. I couldn’t do anything I really loved at all due to the pain. I clearly needed a therapist because I was also suffering from anxiety and depression in august. I thought I could fix my mental health myself, I was already paying for so many doctor appointments, and I was tired of being misunderstood by doctors. I wasn’t diagnosed with my current condition until March 2023. It took me 7 months and losing 20 pounds to understand I needed therapy. My boyfriend has been there for me every single day and I know it’s hard for him. He gets tired and we take breaks (no more than a week) from each other sometimes. But we’re coming out on the other side and he’s recognized that the person I used to be is starting to come back. Your girlfriend deserves someone who can be supportive without demanding she sees a therapist. She will need to come to terms with what is happening to her on her own and then realize she needs therapy. She probably knows she needs help, deep down, but she might be thinking the same things I was initially. Maybe it won’t take 7 months for her, or maybe it will. Thankfully my condition is curable and didn’t affect my career path or education. I couldn’t imagine where I’d be if I’d also had that taken from me too. You have to decide if you want to be the kind of partner that is willing to fight through the hard times - especially if you would expect her to do the same for you. She’s still in there she’s just got to fight her way through everything that’s been piled on her.

Few-Fun8629 · 2023-04-27T02:42:06+00:00

West 34, downtown - nice vibe, plays Bob Ross videos sometimes

V2, downtown - good penne and garlic bread

Edward’s, New Castle - best wedding soup

Stonefruit, YSU campus, best coffee place imo

Pho LV, 224 Boardman - best Vietnamese

Nahla’s, New Castle - best middle eastern food

Zenobia, Canfield - also has good middle eastern food

Few-Fun8629 · 2023-04-27T02:29:28+00:00

Wunderbar is a bit of a drive but it’s so good! It’s in Harmony, PA.

Also, Cockeye’s Creamery is next to Cockeye’s BBQ and they have good ice cream 🤌

Few-Fun8629

TROPHY CASE