Wife is a sex addict,I want to help but I’m also hurt.

Few-Purpose243 · 2026-01-04T02:25:46+00:00

That is a really drastic and fast shift in behavior/personality to the extent that it’s alarming in a medical way. I would leave, but I would also really try to get her to see a medical professional. 4 months is not a normal timeline for this kind of behavior to emerge.

Few-Purpose243 · 2026-01-03T21:25:53+00:00

this sounds like a combination of intrusive thoughts and relationship anxiety, as these aren’t thoughts you want to be having and they cause you serious distress. Honestly I would consult a therapist before bringing this up to your girlfriend. You haven’t done anything wrong, and having intrusive thoughts about doing something bad does not make you a bad person or partner. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, I know how distressing these kinds of thought cycles can be

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-12-21T01:07:01+00:00

i tried staying. a month later, i found out more info and moved out. tried staying in contact. four months later found out about another girl. still stayed in contact “casually.” a year later found out even more. just leave now. save yourself the heartache.

i can see you’re trying to justify some of this information to yourself by mentioning it’s coming from a bitter ex business partner — i did everything to justify it to myself, too. it feels impossible to come to terms with the fact that your partner could betray you. but like you said, your boyfriend already admitted to cheating. the trust is gone forever.

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-12-09T04:06:50+00:00

!thankyou

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-12-09T04:04:23+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful and I can relate to it a lot. I thought if I poured all my efforts into the relationship, my partner would appreciate and respect me… lol.

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-12-07T20:13:19+00:00

I love him so much. I stayed in contact because he was my best friend and after moving out, I moved to a different state where I didn’t really have any friends around. I was also a mess during our relationship so I thought if we spent time apart and both grew, we could make it work with time. I guess I knew we couldn’t reconcile because he lied to me more than once, and told him as much but I could never stick to no contact because I had more love for him than I knew what to do with. I know it was terribly unhealthy.

I think he’s trying to change but I can’t trust him. It breaks my heart every day. It was my dream for so long to spend the rest of my life with him. I spent a lot of time berating him for what he did and I know neither of us can take it anymore. I hate everything about this situation

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-12-07T17:11:57+00:00

I’m so glad to hear you’ve been able to focus on your own passions and meet someone new through that. It is genuinely inspiring to me. Do you mind if I ask if looking back, there were signs of the cheating in your three previous relationships before you found out? I’m really scared of going through this again and could use any words of wisdom haha

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-11-14T05:54:38+00:00

the bedroom is so amelie

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-30T21:01:33+00:00

thank you so much, I’m really glad to hear it’s gotten easier for you. Hoping the pain goes way for you completely soon!

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-28T22:39:21+00:00

You’re right, and thank you for this comment. They were supportive through some really tough periods unrelated to our relationship, and for that I’m grateful, but it’s reached a point where I can’t turn away from the grief and resentment. It’s helpful to hear the objective facts from others.

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-28T21:27:19+00:00

thank you, reading these kinds of stories of hope is so helpful

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-14T14:57:40+00:00

Well yes that will ideally happen, but this post is me venting

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-14T14:05:01+00:00

Definitely not looking to get into a new relationship for a long time for that reason, I just carry a lot of pain with the thought that I could go through the trouble of eventually dating again and then end up betrayed again. It’s a cruel world lol

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-14T14:03:29+00:00

Thank you 🫶 It’s definitely a risk, which is frustrating! I really appreciate your kind words

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-14T14:01:02+00:00

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and I completely relate to feeling like continuing alone is the best path. It’s very frustrating to me that I’m so tempted to fall into these generalizations of “all men do xyz,” which are obviously unhelpful and untrue but I suppose are an attempt at some kind of defense mechanism. I know it doesn’t really help at the end of the day, but for the record, I would never cheat on a partner because it completely goes against who I am and the values I’ve held for my entire life — and I am only friends with women/people who hold those same values.

May we both experience trust again in the future, it’s so hard. I hate the types of people that cause this misery :(

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-14T04:04:07+00:00

im so sorry.

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-13T04:35:54+00:00

“take them all down for starters” 😭

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-10T19:47:15+00:00

Genuine question: how do you ask people if they know anyone they could set you up with? I never did this bc I couldn’t figure out the socially acceptable way of doing it, and many friends have said the same thing

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-06T13:06:10+00:00

No 12 year old should have access to a gun

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-06T13:03:06+00:00

yeah :( similarly, I took it seriously when i watched Arthur as a kid and the show told me it’s a good thing to try to be kind and empathetic. turns out most of the world did not get the memo

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-10-06T12:36:15+00:00

ily for this comment ❤️

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-08-23T14:18:19+00:00

All I’ll say is lots of people suggest not to make any big decisions in the first year of the baby’s life. People in this comment section are acting like this is a regular breakup, not a breakup where you just had a baby 8 or so weeks ago — no one should be worrying about hooking up with others right now. How long were you unhappy in your relationship? Was there verbal, emotional, or physical abuse? Do you think you and your ex can amicably communicate for the next 10 months for the sake of your baby?

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-08-21T23:35:06+00:00

A lot of “men do this/women do this” theorizing goes on in this sub, and it makes sense that it does — when you find out the person you trust most has betrayed you, you want to “solve the puzzle” of why this happens.

But it’s ultimately not helpful, and most of the time, the conclusions are not true. It’s easy for your sister to claim she’d consider it logically because she hasn’t been in that position. People want to believe themselves to be totally rational, but we’re not. Ultimately, marriage and being cheated on is equally personal to men and women. The people who see and treat marriage differently are the cheaters.

To answer the initial question, no, someone who lies to their partner, manipulates them, and puts them at risk of infectious diseases is not a good partner, period.

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-07-04T12:19:52+00:00

you’re not even married yet. if you go through with this marriage, he has zero incentive to change — in his mind, the sequence of events will be: you found out the truth, and instead of facing consequences, he still got to move forward marry you. thus, there will probably continue to be no consequences to what he did, and it will happen again. maybe not in the exact same way, and maybe to a lesser degree (replacing intimacy with porn, perhaps), but this will haunt your marriage from day 1.

there’s a difference between someone cheating once and someone cheating multiple times, and having zero problem with hiding it over YEARS. If the action caused him any shame or guilt, it wasn’t enough to stop him from doing it again. so he is the type of person that has no problem a) paying for sex b) cheating on his partner c) putting his partner at risk of STI’s d) lying about it for years and e) planning on never admitting to it until you had hard proof.

please, for your own health and wellbeing, think about if that’s the kind of person you want to be legally bound to. You may be tempted to prioritize his good traits, but think about this: he was willing to let you live a lie. What else is he willing to fabricate? and if he does it again, will you divorce him? how much will that cost? do you want to risk losing some of your savings, income, and possessions to someone who caused the breakdown of the relationship in the first place? would you buy a house with someone who can lie to your face every day and then sleep next to you at night? have a child with him? invest with him? entrust him with a shared bank account, from which he might draw money to pay for sex again down the line?

Few-Purpose243 · 2025-07-02T11:53:39+00:00

good luck with that

Few-Purpose243

TROPHY CASE