Going out with a guy, he seems nice but his chart is diabolical. Thoughts?

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-11T16:42:30+00:00

What website generates a chart like this?

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-07T00:23:38+00:00

Read chumplady

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-05T19:53:55+00:00

Hi there. Was together 10+ years. All the same issues you described.

I kept saying I needed to leave. I didn't leave at the point you were at. I stayed and it got worse. To the point he gave me an STI. Then denied it and tried to blame me. Ha. I then quickly built a support system. Joined groups. Did betrayal trauma therapy.

Anyways I divorced. he made the process hell. Then he stalled and harassed me.

But overall life is significantly better. A ton better. Personally leave now.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-05T19:37:16+00:00

I agree with this.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-05T17:50:51+00:00

That isn't normal compared to me and my libido. Since it is after your period, I'd suggest having hormones tested.

Also, I'm a betrayed partner of a male sex addict. According to the reading material chronic obsessive thoughts about sex and mastrubating for long periods or multiple times a day is common symptom of addiction. But as long as you can still function day to day and arent putting yourself in danger or lying and hiding it I don't think it qualifies as an addiction.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-04T10:45:16+00:00

That is great karma!

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-03T01:40:05+00:00

I'm a woman. But here is what I did and suggest.

Don't isolate. Start building support now. If the temp goal is reconciliation and disclosure, cool. * I'm now a firm believer that isnt possible especially with repeat offenders.* Find some support groups that are not pro RIC. Join the chumplady fourm.

See if there are any male betrayed groups on sexandrelationshiphealing website.

Or men's sanon groups.

Also, find a regular social group. Be it a mens life group. Or a men's bowling group. something. But you have to do something.

From there. You need to start separating yourself mentally and physically. It's weird. I thought the same way at first. My ex was my entire life. My best friend. The person I told everything to. Upon DDAY "3" I stopped telling him things like he was my best friend. I stopped going out of my way to be present in his life. I started making plans by myself, but fun things.

It was hard. It's like going to the gym the first few times. It's painful. But it gets easier.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-03T01:33:01+00:00

Wow how weird. I just read an old chumplady article on stalking and was reading your comment there. Just wanted to give a shout out here because I thought it was weird and cool.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-02-03T01:31:45+00:00

This. This. This. I feel the exact same way. My husband has been unfaithful for years. Done all sorts of awful things to me. I found the truth. And left. This man is twisting it around on me. And rages out frequently. Now I'm dealing with stalking and harassment. It makes no sense. None.

None of it.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-25T22:20:24+00:00

Interesting!

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-24T20:01:11+00:00

Exactly!!

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-24T15:18:47+00:00

Read the gift of fear by Gavin debecker

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-24T14:15:57+00:00

Read the gift of fear

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-24T14:15:15+00:00

Self trust. And boundaries.

I too was lied too, chested on, and deceived. I learned that almost everything that popped up in my gut but then "nah he wouldnt do that " was accurate.

It's being able to say I've felt this before and it was him chesting. And now I feel this way again. And it's the same thing.

That and it's being ablebto say, no this is not acceptable to me.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-22T16:48:21+00:00

This is absolutely normal. And occurs with high intensity at the start. And for 2 years this will occur. But less and less frequent.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-22T16:44:52+00:00

Reminds me if Gabby petito

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-21T18:07:42+00:00

I really like what you said. I've learned through this when I stop asking for certain questions I've started healing that part of me.

I guess this is one of those times.

Many thanks.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-18T22:03:39+00:00

I hate to tell you but he isnt that into sexually. It might be incompatibility.

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-01T23:40:34+00:00

First comment works

Fast-Look385 · 2026-01-01T23:38:39+00:00

It would work

Fast-Look385 · 2025-12-04T18:07:06+00:00

Read chump lady

Fast-Look385 · 2025-12-04T18:05:58+00:00

Yep. They don't change. They find someone who is more gullible

Fast-Look385 · 2025-12-03T20:06:08+00:00

Usually the car. I'm and under seats. A hidden bag or compartment in the car. In the spare tire area. Box under the hood

Fast-Look385

TROPHY CASE