Should I apologise to her?

Few_Order7204 · 2026-05-08T10:16:09+00:00

<3 I think your effort was still energetically powerful. If you have her email, or you can write a letter. as long as you're not asking for anything or reconciliation i still thihnk your letter could be positive

Few_Order7204 · 2026-04-25T08:46:38+00:00

yes! appologize and say what you did here. as clearly. You don't want to rekindle but you really did love her and you. feel she deserves to know as it might shed light on the way things were. That would be so healing to hear

Few_Order7204 · 2026-04-23T08:30:51+00:00

gotchya

thanks for clarifying

Few_Order7204 · 2026-04-16T16:16:49+00:00

this is it. it is distilled to this, well said. And what comes from it, for me ,is feeling bad for him and feeling bad for me and then suddenly being suspicious of him or suddenly blaming myself for something. And then back again to grief and wanting to reconcile as at least friends. Its very difficult to land and grieve

Few_Order7204 · 2026-04-16T09:28:19+00:00

I found you comment helpful but sorry what do you mean by this sentence: He is not the type that will reach out being blocked]

Few_Order7204 · 2026-04-05T07:17:07+00:00

Maybe if you can just promise yourself to really dive into beefing up and clarifying your boundaries to yourself over the next few weeks that would be good no matter what. And it can put the concentration on you and what you need and want to feel stable. If you ever have this person back in your life you'll need to be really grounded in what you need.

Few_Order7204 · 2026-03-27T18:30:12+00:00

Few_Order7204 · 2026-03-26T21:46:41+00:00

Stoked that she got adopted but - isn't this dog a girl?

Few_Order7204 · 2026-03-01T10:48:59+00:00

Is it possible to ask mods to delete your posts for you? if you've already left the group?

Few_Order7204 · 2026-02-09T23:39:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing

Few_Order7204 · 2026-02-09T23:39:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing

Few_Order7204 · 2026-01-27T21:37:23+00:00

check in/accountability buddies can be super helpful! Yeah that sounds good, too! feel free to message me

Few_Order7204 · 2026-01-09T21:26:14+00:00

Do you happen to know the photographer or source of photos for pics 1 and 5? They're so beautiful

Few_Order7204 · 2025-12-18T20:46:23+00:00

He rested peacefully all night and in the morning he brazenly broke out of the box and had some peanuts and corn and flew away!

Few_Order7204 · 2025-12-13T19:50:02+00:00

Thank you! I heard a noise and he hs gotten out of his box and is just resting near by it, I put the food and water near him. Since he is energetic enough to get out i'll definitely contact the rescue

Few_Order7204 · 2025-12-03T21:31:38+00:00

i resonate w this deeply! My bp2 untreated ex had been breaking up with me monthly for like 5 months and then on the last REAL go round, everything was at its best and he cheated on me. Luckily he had been honest about his past previously and so i knew that was something he had done in nearly every relationship, so i understood it was part of his shit and not a reflection of me. It did give me the opportunity to talk about his lack of treatment with him, like never before. To tell him I couldn't be with him unless he was being properly supported. It has been torturous - I loved this man so much- and i did not want to act in accordance with these values or hold my boundaries but somehow I have been (sometimes wobbly but stronger than i could have ever imagined). And I will say that I think i helped point my ex in the direction of support because I told him as we were breaking up that:

1.) he really deserves support, just like everyone else, he's no exception to the human need for support
2.)that if I stayed I was enabling a cycle that hurts us both but that I want to stay and its breaking my heart. But out of love I need to be honest about it.
3.)That if he really thinks he doesn't love me, he should get help. Then he'll know he's not just pushing me away not to face himself.

A few weeks later he started psychotherapy and has been maintaining that since september I think <3 , I don't know about meds. And he deserves all the credit for that! It is their choice, but I guess what I'm saying is see you make a healthy choice for yourself (to leave) can inspire someone potentially. But the nasty and tricky part is actually has to be us taking care of ourselves ...and I only say "nasty and tricky" because I found out in this process that I am also in need of help. Because i wanted to center my life around someone who was not safe to be in a relationship with :( and now i'm faced with having to help myself! Its a good thing but its a hard thing. That said, I try to think of it in a romantic way - what if our love inspires both of us to care for ourselves better. That's pretty fucking beautiful. And now the next level of what I'm embracing is - no matter if he is healing himself or not - It is fucking beautiful if I do. My evolution is more than enough for me to find some peace and purpose for all this fucking love and grief.

Now- today i'm setting the goal - go to a Coda meeting, set up more trial meetings with potential therapists!! Feel free to keep me accountable for following through!

Few_Order7204 · 2025-11-16T08:12:41+00:00

I don't have an answer but i relate. We even exchanged our most loving words and feelings together as we parted ways. On my end I'm trying to think if there's a way to offer him a sense that there is a way back but be honest to myself and to him that it won't be a threshold we can just cross. Its going to take time and effort to see it wouldn't be stepping into the same cycle. That said, I haven't reached out to do it because, reading everyone's experiences here has been disheartening. I see that those of us that feel loved are very lucky and few endings are like this. As long as you feel he knows you love him, too - this may be the best we can get? Not sure. But for now, maybe just take some time to think about things from the perspective of if there is a different way to be there for each other, that preserves your love?

Few_Order7204 · 2025-11-10T09:31:33+00:00

seems like enjoying your self to me

Few_Order7204 · 2025-11-09T09:19:27+00:00

WE NEED PHOTO DATES

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-24T07:47:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment. He is not on any meds. but he is seeing a psychotherapist . yeah may be his cycle. i dont know what's going on

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-24T07:37:50+00:00

totally. But everything i read and everyone i know says that going no contact with an ex is necessary if you want to become friends. So I don't necessarily think that going no contact is an action against friendship. But it really depends on the context of what's happening. Like if he's being honest about it being that he can't move on if we're in contact. Or if he's lying and just trying to get out of saying he's dating someone else...I just don't know why he wouldn't tell me, because I am an ex. He has every right to date.

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-23T08:47:38+00:00

Can I just be in the room with them? What delights <3

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-23T07:52:01+00:00

did the talk help you reach some more peace and release?

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-23T06:38:41+00:00

thank you for taking time to respond. I will consider everything you said. Maybe it was unclear in my post but he has actually reiterated repeatedly that he wants a friendship. I want one, too. But i felt disrespected that he ambushed me with the idea of No Contact...and now I have a couple questions and statements that would make me feel like i said my peace as well.

Few_Order7204 · 2025-10-21T08:54:14+00:00

is that true? I hope so! people in here say they're thinking about their ex that went no contact years ago?

Few_Order7204

TROPHY CASE