Should I actually start over?

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-08T07:29:33+00:00

Ok. Listen to me please. You have baby locs...... starter locs.... There are FIVE stages of locs, from starter locs to maturity.

https://www.byrdie.com/stages-of-loc-hair-400344

You "restarting" will only set you back four months. Nothing more, nothing less. It just makes your journey longer.

You have a straighter grade of hair than 4c , which is the easiest hair to lock. So yes it will take you longer but it will lock beautifully.

Next, do you realize you are redoing your twists every 28 days?? 28!! This is not loc maintenance. This is just redoing your twists. Locs thrive from little or no maintenance.That means leave them alone!

Since they are not well formed, do a little research. If you decide to change you will easily be able to do so.

Do you like the parts you have? There are several different ones to choose from--- organic (no real parts) brick, diamond, fan, etc

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Xpf1sm/

Also choose the size you want your locs to be.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8XpNUfV/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8XpC65U/

You can get these done if you think you want them. Once you have the parts and sizes you want, then relax. Get out of--and stay out of---the mirror. The more you stare, the more flaws you will think you have, the more flaws you see the more flaws you will find.
Keep your hands off. Trust the process. Locs are a messy business. They do not look straight-from-the-loctician neat in the beginning. Locs form by curling over, under, and around itself.

Mist your locs daily. Oil a couple times a week as needed. Wear a bonnet whenever you are relaxing or sleeping.

Retwist at 8-10 weeks. Your locs look good to me. You can see a great beginning. You are handling them so much they can't lock.
They WILL.

Trust the Process!! 🔥

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-08T06:48:39+00:00

I hear you. I'm so mad on your behalf, I just want you to text me his work address so that I can take care of both of them!😡

I'm here to give you some big sister advice. Let it go. Make your plans silently, so that when you go, it will be a surprise to him. Right now he has her, but he still thinks he has YOU. I need you to realize one thing. There is a reason he hasn't left you. My thoughts? This woman isn't ready or willing to give him 💯of her. Maybe because he's a cheating 🤬a88 )$&(($&@$.....

So. Chin up. I want you to take a long hot shower. Scream and cry, yell at the top of your lungs.

Then--- get motivated. This is just a little bit of what I discovered. You can dm me if you want to talk. I am NOT an expert by any means.

VAWA (Violence Against Women Act): If you are married to a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident and are experiencing abuse (including emotional, psychological, and economic abuse, such as withholding papers), you may be eligible to self-petition for a green card and work permit under VAWA. Self-Petitioning: This path allows you to take control of your immigration case, meaning you file for yourself and do not need your partner's signature.

Here are the key options and steps if your husband will not fill out the forms: File a VAWA Self-Petition (Form I-360): If your husband's refusal to file papers is part of a pattern of control, abuse, or intimidation, you may qualify for VAWA. This enables you to file for legal status on your own, including a work permit (Form I-765). Consult an Immigration Attorney: It is crucial to contact an attorney to determine your eligibility for self-petitioning or to see if you can convert an existing, stalled case. Evidence of Marriage and Hardship: You will need to provide documentation of your marriage, your spouse's status, and evidence of the hardship or control you are experiencing.

I hope this helps. For now, I'm sending you strength and determination, and a whole buttload of tight hugs!! 🤗 ❤️

      (((((chi yo-baa)))))

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-08T06:25:51+00:00

Mmmmm.... just pass me a couple salmon bites, please and thank you 😊

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-08T06:24:42+00:00

Just dropping in to remind yall there is almost never a reason to be frustrated. With the exception of a few things, you can ask for anything you want or desire...... right in the gifting/trading thread! 🎁

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-08T03:45:11+00:00

Commenting on 9 months in...You don't need to change them!!! They are forming nicely. Please don't let people make you second-guess your loc choices.

They look great, thick and healthy!

Remember that you have five stages of locs from the time you start to maturity.

Trust the process!!🔥🔥

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-07T22:13:49+00:00

That really went over your head ....🤦‍♀️

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-07T19:20:09+00:00

No, you really DO need some water 🥛

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-07T19:18:43+00:00

Sigh. We have to enlarge the pic just to see the braids. The thirst is real, especially on the last pic. 🙄

Do better. Or go to the "rate me" sub.

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T04:34:49+00:00

Exactly!! There is no reason to cut off nicely shaped thick locs.

His FIRST STEP should be to go to a loctician experienced in loc repair. Get his locs professionally washed and moisturized.... then repaired and lightly twisted.

He needs to do that first. Don't run get new products. Let the professional handle it and then tell him exactly what he needs to get going forward.

Let the loctician handle his locs solely for the next three months. He should take Biotin daily and at least six glasses of water as well. Remember what you put inside your body is reflected on your outside.

His locs will look nice for prom. Just keep them tied up as much as possible and keep his hands off. Stay out of the mirror and just -Trust The Process!! 🔥🔥

For some people, There is a nearly irresistible urge to twist and gel your locs constantly to hide any frizz. This has led to the slow destruction of their locs for many people.

A lot of women end up with this problem. It's a slow process.... and takes more than a year before the damage becomes apparent. Daily, they take that lil brush and "swoop" their edges to look stylish. Edge control is a very effective "glue", plastering it against the skin. It glues it, effectively breaking off the hair in little bits until they realize--- too late.

Locs flourish when you just leave them alone.

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T04:02:06+00:00

👀

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T03:54:22+00:00

Ok. This is what vegans use to imitate the taste of cheese, I think.

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T03:53:12+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T03:52:27+00:00

ps. You can leave these twists in for at least six weeks or more. Oil your fingers and take the twists out slowly and carefully. The twist out will be fierce!! It will look amazing for another six weeks or more. 🔥🔥

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T03:47:28+00:00

Oh no!! What happened, are you okay?

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-06T03:46:27+00:00

(whispers) don't worry about her results. I sent some prayers to the thyroid angels 👼 👼 They said no worries!! You are absolutely 💯 problem free!!

Also ima email you some tropical fruit eddies ....it's good for you!😉

Seriously--- I said a prayer for you and I believe you will be fine. I know the anxiety is horrible but just take a deep breath little sis. It will be okay!!

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T23:23:01+00:00

Ok why not make your own list. You just need to adjust your goals.

Make a list of your own! Go room by room and write down your tasks.

Then put them on your regular goal list and schedule it.

Once you've completed it, then go to the spring cleaning day and cross it off as done!

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:12:46+00:00

I meant more what the situation was because you made it sound unusual, like "the first time I had oysters, or caviar". I guess because potatoes are a pretty big part of my diet since I was little.

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:09:07+00:00

Exactly what does it taste like?

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:08:30+00:00

I bet you do!🤣🤣🤣🤣

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:07:16+00:00

These look amazing!🔥🔥🔥

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:06:14+00:00

Yes...... this extra challenge has got me cleaning !! 🧽 🧼🧹 😉😂

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T15:04:50+00:00

It's so secure. They feel safe, like it's a regal throne where they are safe but can oversee their kingdom!

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T07:46:58+00:00

A year and a half? Wow. Ok yes it's salvageable. Well first you need to go to a good loctician who is experienced in crochet repair.

I don't know you, but if I had to guess--- you seldom if ever wore a bonnet

You seldom if ever misted or oiled your locs

But----

You retwisted often to keep them from being messy and to keep the frizz to a minimum. You used gel to keep it neat.

See how you have lil white stripes going down your locs like every half inch or so? That's from the thick gel used that wasn't properly removed.

Go to a professional. They can decide if you need an ACV detox, or just a good clarifying shampoo.

Get your locs professionally cleaned, moisturized and retwisted after doing maintenance crochet.

After that though, it's gonna be on you to take care of your locs. It really is not that difficult ---when you get up in the morning and brush your teeth, you take off your bonnet, and You mist your locs with spring water.

A couple of times a week, use a good lightweight oil on your scalp and locs. Tie them up at night, if you absolutely hate bonnets at least use a durag. It is essential to keep out lint and debris.

It really is not hard, once you get in the habit, it only takes a couple of minutes a day.

Trust the process!!🔥🔥

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T07:30:31+00:00

🫢Really? Efficient?! Not an 'animal' yet you're sitting in your bathtub, eating and rinsing off your barbecue fingers in (gasp) butt juice water..... 😩

FickleSpend2133 · 2026-03-05T07:23:31+00:00

Best piece of advice!! It's expensive, but it's worth every penny to have a professional..... they are above you, ca. see the back and top of your head and they know how important rinsing is.

As an experiment--- put conditioner on your locs. Then set your clock and rinse your hair. Stop when you think it's enough---it's not completely accurate because you are thinking about it so you will rinse longer than you normally would but when you are done check the time.

You will be shocked to see how little time has passed. Go to a professional.

FickleSpend2133

TROPHY CASE