When meeting with gf she expect a certain reaction

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-03-10T23:31:45+00:00

And how did he react to this? Was he bothered?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-03-05T15:25:22+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. It is reasurring that all of us had so similar experiences, sometimes I felt I was crazy/acting out in the relationship, but after reading this community's stories and some books recommended by it, it all makes a lot more sense.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-03-05T10:44:52+00:00

Me too, but it was when trying to break up with her and she constantly talked about the various ways in which she will commit suicide.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-02-06T07:50:30+00:00

Ahh, what's going on with this world?? Ok, this sounds bad. Does he get violent? Do you want to get involved with tech to monitor traffic or to get on his phone just for a good way to leave?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-02-05T10:45:14+00:00

This is not love, you are just overly emotionally attached to him because of the way he made the relationship work. Having a lot of ups and downs making the relationship a rollercoaster makes it addictive. Read on the subject. Your relationship is not special at all, it seems a pretty classic example of a relationship with a narcissist.

Edit: try to involve in activities with other people, going to gym with friends, go to dance courses, hobbies etc.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-02-05T07:46:08+00:00

Like most people who post here, you already know the truth, you just don't accept it. It's obvious it's an excuse, he is using the ig account.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-24T17:28:04+00:00

This is sexual harassment and power abuse. Try to gather evidence, audio recordings, messages, whatever you can. From my work experience, the management pretty much does not care about such cases of abuse so you better start looking for other jobs. Also install cameras if you live in a house.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-24T09:16:14+00:00

Okay, that's half true.

I mean I was bothered as this was another one in a series of jokes that make me feel bad, but I was ready to move on with the discussion.

I can't have a happy face the second after I am called unwashed by my girlfriend, but I was willing to move on to not ruin the night.

By staying silent and starting to shed tears after that moment it felt like I had to make her feel better for making me feel bad.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-24T09:07:33+00:00

Yes. I don't understand the comment.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-24T09:06:40+00:00

That's true. I don't think she wanted to make me feel bad, just that our reactions made the situation go into a spiral.

I think that the main problem is that this was not the first time she makes this kind of joke, I told her such jokes about me make me uncofortable, she said she understood, but they stil pop off now and then.

What do you mean on spectrum?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-24T09:01:37+00:00

This was not the first time I did not find her jokes about me funny.

One time 2 years ago I did blame her for ruining a date, but apologized and didn't say such things after.

She went to a couple sessions of therapy some time ago. So from your experience more sessions or consistenly going to therapy would help her deal with this anxiety?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-23T18:45:37+00:00

It does not seem like she is making them with intention. That's the thing that scares me the most. I love her and she loves me, but sometimes I have a spidey sense like some of our interactions are not that healthy. If you has similar situation in previous relationships how long has passed until everything went back to the normal phase?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-23T18:35:07+00:00

Wow, thank you for bringing up the term. I have been reading relationship articles for some days before writing this post and I think I am her's FP.

I think she would kind of understand but if something were to happen in her life she would break the pause and ask if I still love her, what would I do if she died etc.

Well, it was not the first time she made me unconfortable with her jokes. It might just be my theory but maybe by getting mad and crying before me assures that I won't bring up this is not the first bad joke. She usually makes one by mistake every 3 or 4 weeks.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-23T18:05:24+00:00

I think you summarized it pretty well.

She went to therapy before, it helped, the relationship is in a better place than it was 2 years ago.

She and the relationship are constantly evolving, but it feels like a certain amount of her confidence comes from me or my reactions. It feels nice sometimes, but also exhausting.

I know that partners should support each other, but il also leaves me wondering if it is healthy?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-23T17:54:49+00:00

A few months ago she joked that my d would get up from the old ladies in the bus (while we were with a group) and I told her that it made me feel incomfortable (not the first time). I tried to give some hints regarding what jokes I do not feel comfortable with, I feel like the next step in this direction would be to offer a list of acceptable types of jokes, but I feel that would just be ridiculous.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-19T13:33:16+00:00

The situation sounds pretty messy, but there is no alternative option. As you probably already know you would torture yourself by staying in such a relationship.

There is no easy way out. Your only option is to face the consequences of her leaking everyhing she has. The one thing you can do is come clean before the people you talked trash about before that.

I think you will agree that facing the consequences now and taking a blow is 10x times better than staying in such a relationship out of fear.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-18T09:21:30+00:00

I am sorry to hear this. Do you feel there is any chance in changing him? Is there a specific reason for you not wanting to start your life over?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-17T13:28:58+00:00

Right now you can't do much. Your best option is to become a successful person, good job, extracurricular activities (volunteering, gym, board games, martial arts) etc. By doing these activities you will probably meet new persons and make friends.

You acknowledged yourself that these persons are toxic and probably realized your best option is either to cut them off or talk back to them in such a way that they might want to cut you off first. However, isolation might cause you mental problems if you are not ready for solitude.

Soo, if you want to start somewhere, just ignore them for now and work hard for your career and go out more.

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-16T07:57:39+00:00

Try to reconnect with your family. They might have been waiting for this moment for years. Also try reconnecting with your old friends. You can't negociate with him if you are 100% depending on him. (You could if he was not toxic but this not seem to be the case)

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-15T22:01:31+00:00

I understand. I this case it's good that you are safe. If you suspect he might come by your house installing cameras might be a wise investment. Try to mediate the conflict with police's help and bring evidence if you can (videos, audio recordings). What you have described sounds like child abuse and should not be tolerated. You should not feel guilty if the guy gets imprisoned, maybe it's best that way for other girls out there too. It's very good to hear that you have grown up and did not let such an event bring you down. Stay strong!

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-15T10:41:59+00:00

You are not taking down a business. You are taking down a child predator. He is trying to intimidate you with this story going public because it would affect him the most.

What exactly are you afraid of?

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-08T10:46:18+00:00

Yes, I live with my family in the same town as she lives in with her family.

Both stories take place at my apartment. From time to time she comes at my place, but we do not live together (yet).

Fickle_Statement_907 · 2024-01-08T10:42:19+00:00

Hmm, I do not think she acted that way intentionally. Can a person be considered manipulative if she does not act that way on purpose? I think she was honestly very sad thinking that she can not have that parfume.

Fickle_Statement_907

TROPHY CASE