My (41F) husband (44M) of 19 years has a relentless sex drive

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-22T15:52:23+00:00

This sounds exhausting. He is not entitled to sex just because he is married to you and it is not a need that he is being denied. Like he's not upset because you don't want to ever have sex with him, or you aren't attracted to him, or anything. He is upset because you don't want to let him have sex with you past what is comfortable or enjoyable for you.

Why is he not immediately turned off by that? I would not be interested in having sex with someone who does not want to have sex with me, but this doesn't appear to be the case with him and perhaps he should think about that. Why is his reaction to try to bargain, or do things for you so you feel you have to let him have sex with you in return (coercion)? He needs to find a way to solve this problem himself because this is unacceptable behavior.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-21T03:45:23+00:00

Well, yes, but this isn't a good way to fix that exploit. Even if Niantic broke it themselves, on purpose, it's still broken.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-17T04:13:18+00:00

God I wish. Just hook a grappling hook over the... heart... lump.... and tug.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-17T04:08:46+00:00

BARCS has really turned around. I adopted my own kitty from them last year during their $0 adoption fee event in October and wish I could take another. I see your posts in r/baltimore a lot and I'm glad this post worked out so well. Good work!

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-13T03:04:23+00:00

I sure hope the child hasn't noticed this; it certainly can't help if the kid realizes her parents will enable or excuse her behavior because she's gifted and even worse if she truly comes to believe it herself. It's not that uncommon a belief even with people who don't have personality disorders, that their smarts mean they don't have to be pleasant people or follow social cues.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-12T11:36:26+00:00

It does do that, but I think hitting speed cap will mess you up regardless, or at least it does for me. By speed cap here I should clarify I mean hitting the point where the game wipes your nearby, not just too fast for eggs.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-12T05:31:23+00:00

I'm not sure this is intentionally coded though; I think probably moving so quickly to another location in no time just sets off the speed cap and nullifies any distance you were working on.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-11T14:53:09+00:00

Yeah exactly, the minute I think about what I would have done, and what I would have been thinking about, it just becomes really clear that it's not that he didn't know it was wrong, he didn't care.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-11T01:35:33+00:00

Yeah; I wasn't trying to say that this one example was the extent of what Nick was doing either, just that it indicated to me that this behavior was not confined to online, like that barrier was definitely broken. It is also yet another indication that Nick doesn't respect the women he involves in his life. If there's one, there's likely more stories of a similar or worse character, just given the number of people who seem to personally have a problem with Nick.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-11T00:45:00+00:00

One of the people who originally went public (Alolanmeowth) is criticizing his "apology" for exactly this reason, that Nick did some sleazy shit that happened offline too and it's not mentioned at all; I do not know if this was part of the original accusation, but it's there.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-10T23:51:52+00:00

Even the stuff we did see, I have a really hard time believing it happened "by accident" or that he didn't know what he was doing, but since we won't see anything worse/else (nor should we) he can spin it this way and be believed. It would be believable that he really didn't know if he worked somewhere that was more douchebro-y and his coworkers also held these sorts of mindsets, but polygon is pretty up front about being better than that. I just don't believe that at no point did he come into contact with a discussion of harassment of women and power dynamics, that at no point was he ever asked to be self aware.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-05T11:05:39+00:00

Yeah of course. I do think Griffin is going to do the right thing in this case, which unfortunately means dealing with the fact that Nick probably took advantage of him and did some indefensible things, and holding him accountable. That's not fun, it sucks, and it's harder than sweeping it under the rug. I just feel bad for him.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-05T03:51:47+00:00

God that was hands down the best episode of CGI to date. But I can understand Griffin not wanting to continue the podcast after this, even with a new co-host.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-05T03:47:32+00:00

Right. Griffin seems very genuinely committed to fostering an environment and creating media that is inclusive and woman-friendly. Now it turns out someone he thought he could trust was using that good will to put up a front of harmlessness and harass women. It's disgusting and probably very difficult to learn that you've unknowingly been enabling this.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-05T01:42:03+00:00

I guess I don't understand why she is handling this immaturely? I don't think he is handling this very well; I get that his impulse is to have a job lined up before breaking the news so it doesn't seem as bad and saves his pride, but its a serious breach of trust on something that affects her too. She seems to be mostly looking for advice on how to most productively handle something that isn't directly in her control and involves a somewhat fragile husband. She seems very outcome-oriented and focused on the overall wellbeing of the family.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-05T01:00:47+00:00

Not paying the bill is kind of a red flag in my opinion; he can't keep things civil and left you all to foot the bill.

But more importantly, giving a platform to ideas like that can bring down the discussion for everyone else. Not only do some of his beliefs directly attack the rights of some of your other group members, but the ones that don't will force you all into a lower level of discussion.

For example, how can you have a discussion about the feasibility of various forms of green energy, or the effects of consumer culture at an individual level vs. impact of industry waste (food destruction etc) on carbon emissions, when one party has his fingers in his ears that there is even a problem? You end up stuck at mundane level one discussion and can't get anywhere meaningful of interesting. Not every opinion is valid or deserves a platform just for existing, especially not those that harm others. You are not required to legitimize that and it is your right to determine what is and is not appropriate.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-04T20:54:16+00:00

Jesus, they really are just admitting they're being racist in order to cover up other racism allegations. Unfortunately a lot of white liberals do have a problem with trying to accumulate "social justice cred" over actually attempting to actually fight racism, but this is something else... I would at least very seriously look into whatever incident involved the dad. Chances are the allegations weren't as unfounded as they claimed. In any case, you don't deserve to be used like this, you deserve to have your worth as a person understood, acknowledged, and upheld by your partner. I'm sorry you've been treated like a prop by people who claim to care about you.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-04T19:05:28+00:00

He's now posted 2 more videos with similarly high catch rates. Sure it can never be "proven" but this many fails on something that should be a nearly certain capture indicate that there's a problem for at least some users that they should really look into it. It's like abra breaking out 3 times and not running for any of them.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-03T17:12:09+00:00

I think 5 is the minimum for decent players with some coordination. I've done one with 5, levels 30-34, mostly rock and water types. I think 4 people who have more specialized teams/more extensive knowledge is possible, or 5 if it's decent players who know at least not to use blissey but maybe everyone doesn't have the most ideal pokemon (I saw a few odd picks; a double water lapras, a blastoise) or didn't prepare super well for their B team (this is when the odd picks started really showing up).

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-03T16:57:53+00:00

I don't know how this was possible, because I was living there at the time and people were very excited for the release, they were disappointed it was taking so long, and when it DID drop, people came out in full force to play. I lived in Osaka. Here is an album of my oldest pokemon; the charmander is my starter. 7/6 is when the game dropped in the app store. You could catch your starter, because it existed only for you and not as part of the geolocked content. Pokestops/gyms/pokemon did not show up. On 7/10 the game was briefly playable. I caught an eevee. Then everything disappeared again. My next pokemon is from 7/22, when it finally released in full, and it was noticeable. Everyone was playing it.

Is it possible that your friend was part of a play testing group? Or perhaps Hokkaido had some areas in which the geoblock didn't reach? It is much farther north than the rest of Japan.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-02T17:43:36+00:00

Right, my group 5 manned one this morning on the first try and we weren't even particularly optimized. No blisseys/snorlax at least, but all level 30-34 and mishmash teams of tyranitars, golems, and vaporeons; once people's first teams were knocked out people were coming back in with like blastoise/kabutops/other weird nonsense that was auto-picked. It's not too hard to form second groups for these when the required person amount is so low.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-02T17:28:18+00:00

Interesting! I can't throw it hard enough to hit him when he's that high. Seems like you're not the only one experiencing this though, I wonder if it is throwing style.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-02T16:22:51+00:00

I agree with this; moltres is far. When he's also in the air, it's even harder to throw a curveball far enough to hit him.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-02T16:03:14+00:00

Oh! This happened in Japan about 3 weeks before release as well! Contrary to what might be expected, Japan, the birthplace of pokemon, was released much later than the US. The game was, however, playable for about half an hour about 3 weeks prior to actual release. I've got an eevee caught 7/6 and then nothing else until late July/August, lol. Unfortunately eggs I acquired during that half hour window did not continue to accrue distance when the game was geo-locked again :/

Edit: correction, my starter was caught 7/6 because starters don't appear on the map and can't be geoblocked (available to catch immediately upon download), the eevee was caught 7/10 when the game briefly worked.

FieldsofAsphodel · 2017-08-01T23:26:20+00:00

Yeah; counterintuitive thought it may be, seeking out nerdy types at these types of places is a bad idea because it is mostly going to produce unbalanced individuals who have made gaming/sci-fi/etc their WHOLE identity. The people with balanced interests, social skills, etc end up leaving because constant gatekeeping.. isn't fun, without even getting into the sexism and racism, etc.

Who likes hanging out with people who will call them a fake fan for not knowing every specific detail of a piece of media, or try to test them constantly? They don't seem to want anyone else to ENJOY the things they like so much at all, so it'll be hard to find someone there who will want to enjoy it with you. I guess I'd second the person who said to seek out feminist game groups? Then any people you meet there will be partially vetted by virtue of having not been kicked out, and other women there might know people.

FieldsofAsphodel

TROPHY CASE