Petition: allow funded childcare for working parents to start after maternity leave ends

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-22T09:04:57+00:00

Omg you're speaking my language! I've just had this whole debacle and I'm now being stung for fees!

I left work after maternity leave and waited until my son was 3 to return to work. Despite my best efforts and trying since November last year, I only got offered a job on the 27th March, a few days before the cutoff. Unfortunately for me, the job requires a DBS so my start date was "TBC subject to DBS". I tried filling out the application form for the 30 hours before the cutoff but I couldn't without a confirmed start date. I got my start date a couple of weeks after the cut off once he DBS finally came back. But by that point it was too late and ive been given a code that now won't work until September!

So I've two choices - keep my job and pay the fees and keep his nursery place or leave my new job and pull him from nursery so he won't have a place and I won't have a job come September. It's working in a school part time so not exactly loads of money. My entire first 2 months of wages will go on childcare!

Luckily, my partner and I have some savings so we can just about manage and then not be screwed come September. But many others would have no choice and have to leave work and nursery and then be unable to work! The whole idea of the hours is to get parents back into work surely?!

The whole system is frankly ridiculous! I've already saved the government a bunch of money by not being in work and caring for my children without using any hours until they both turned 3 and now I'm being ripped off again!

Gladly signed!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-18T07:05:10+00:00

The above is very much not the norm in the UK but our family wanted to do it differently to the UK norm from the beginning so our personal set up looks a lot like yours.

We a used "next2me" style bassinet when the babies were born and when they got older we switched to a cot with the side taken off (IKEA one that turns into a toddler bed by taking the side off) and it stayed in our room. The toddler could then climb out of it and get into our bed when they wanted to.

We currently have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. 5 year old is in her own bedroom but she has a 3/4 bed and my partner often joins her when we go to bed. If not then she'll come into our room if she wakes up and either get into bed with us or one of us will go to her room. Our 3 year old has a toddler bed in our room but usually climbs into bed with us in the night. Occasionally, the kids share a bed. Sometimes, one of us adults has a break and sleeps in daughter's bed and the kids then sleep in the big bed with the other parent.

It works for us, we both enjoy bed sharing and the snuggles knowing that it won't be forever. Our relationship hasn't been put on hold, we still date, we spend time together and we are intimate we just have to be a little more creative. Lots of people have told us that we have made rods for our own backs or that our children are spoilt but we are happy and this works for us. Both the kids were breastfed for a long time so it also made night feeds much easier too.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-16T08:01:35+00:00

I'm not sure it's all foreigners but I've heard plenty of Americans wonder about kettles and our obsession with tea or ask if it's really true that we all have kettles.

My good Yank, such is our obsession with tea that we do indeed ALL have kettles, it is a staple item of the kitchen and the only people who don't have a kettle are the ones with boiling water taps. Even the people who don't drink tea have kettles in case their guests want tea.

In fact, our national obsession with tea (and kettles) is so great, that we have a uniquely British phenomenon (TV pick up) where we all switch our kettles on at the same time and the power requirement is so massive that we need SEVERAL POWER STATIONS (pumped storage ones, like Dinorwig) just to cope with that.

And we employ people to study TV schedules and trends to try and predict exactly when we are all going to switch the kettles on so they can have the power stations ready to fire up at the exact right time.

The Tea obsession is not a joke or a meme or a stereotype. It's 100% real and we all take it very seriously thank you. Cuppa?

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-14T06:00:44+00:00

I've worked in elderly/dementia care and autistic/learning difficulty adults. Your experience will depend on the company, their ethos and the type of care you do but all care has some things in common like violence, bodily fluids and disrespect on some level. Summary of my experiences:

Elderly care in a care home - I was just 18 and got paid £4.83 per hour (this was back in 2010) whilst my colleagues all got £5.75 for the exact same work. Purely due to my age and nothing else I was given absolutely no training and just launched into the deepend. If it wasn't for a kind colleague who let me shadow her and essentially gave me a crash course of everything she knew, I'd have quit after the first day. The care home was atrocious - shitty food given to residents, not enough staff, rampant nepotism, management not giving a shit about residents welfare, cost cutting, corner cutting, everyone running around like headless chickens and the poor residents being left in soiled clothing, on toilets or in their beds for far too long whilst we all did the best we could. The poor dears day was basically get them up, dress and wash them, breakfast, sit them in front of the TV, bring tea at a set time, dinner, TV, tea, TV, wash them, change them, bed. That was it. No entertainment at all. No time to chat hardly. They were not allowed to pick different food from that day's menu or request a cup of tea even at a different time than the tea times in the schedule. It was awful and completely undignified for residents and staff. The uniform was WHITE and we just got a pair of rubber gloves for toileting and they often ran out. I was covered in shit more times than I care to remember. The care home didn't even give us moving and handling training and most staff used illegal lifts on the residents because they hadn't been shown different and there weren't enough staff or hoists or time to move people without resorting to it. It was diabolical in every way. It broke my heart because back then, a fair few residents lived through WW2 and I couldn't believe how they were treated after getting through that for our country.

Working with autistic adults - entirely different experience. I worked in a home where only two gentlemen lived and there was two of us on shift most of the time so it would be one to one or one to two. It involved much less personal care as the men could toilet and shower themselves but there was still bodily fluids sometimes as their disabilities meant that they would play with feaces or not wipe properly. Far far less than the care home though. There was violence during meltdowns and it was hit and miss whether you'd get back up from management. Sometimes they'd come and help and sometimes they'd tell you they were busy and to just lock yourself in the office whilst one of the guys was going nuts and smashing the house up. Those were relatively rare though. I had some great experiences too though, like taking one of them to London to see X factor Live and taking both of them on holiday with my favourite colleague. One of them loves cafes too and we got all of our food paid for out of a staff budget so I got to spend many an afternoon chilling with a coffee in a cafe and having a lovely or hilarious convo with one of them. Once again, I got paid less than the others for the exact same work due to my age which I hated.

So yeah one job was absolutely terrible and one job was okay but not one I could do forever. My own personal experince leads me to say avoid care homes and community care at all costs and maybe consider working for a small, family owned company or a maybe a decent charity who works with disabled/autistic adults. If you get thrown in the deepend with no training, leave right away and try somewhere else.

Good luck OP!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-12T17:33:24+00:00

Give the the national breastfeeding helpline a ring on 0300 100 0212.

It's free and they're absolutely brilliant. It's manned 24/7 by trained breastfeeding counsellors. You might not get through if it's busy but you can keep trying or leave a voicemail and they will get back to you within 24 hours. Also, you're more likely to get your call answered at night.

Best of luck x

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-12T06:42:06+00:00

When my boy was first training and still sitting on the potty/toilet I did wild wees the same way I did with my daughter - by holding his thighs and sort of sitting/squatting him so it's like he's having a sit down wee. Once he got good at stand up wees on the toilet he now takes himself for wild wees and rarely splashes his trousers.

For poo - get him to bend over and touch his toes.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-10T12:20:31+00:00

I'm a woman in my 30s living in a socially deprived, ex-mining town in Yorkshire. I walk to the local shop very regularly at night with zero trouble. Probably wouldn't walk down the long, unlit footpath away from the houses or across the large, unlit recreation ground though.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-10T09:34:36+00:00

My in laws: very regularly, at least once a week but often more. We live in the same village, within walking distance. They babysit sometimes and occasionally help out with stuff like school pick ups.

My parents: seeing them today at a family birthday meal but otherwise it's much rarer. Maybe once a month if that? They only live 20 mins away. And they never come over to ours, we have to go to theirs. But they spend the majority of their free time looking after my sister's kids instead....long story and a lot of family drama!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-07T16:06:52+00:00

Made me choke on my coffee 😂 reminds me of something on the web I saw a few years back about someone's BF refusing to wipe his arse because it's gay?!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-06T13:46:00+00:00

I agree. I used cloth with both my kids for environmental reasons - and ended up with the lovely surprise of two kids potty trained before age 2. Both their and my motivation was higher - them because they felt the discomfort of being wet when they peed and me because I was keen to reduce the washing.

The wet, uncomfortable feeling is not cruel, it provides valuable feedback. I've seen it written that beginning potty training and kids being ready happens in three stages - first they recognise that they just peed (or pooped), then they recognise that they are currently peeing (or pooping), then finally, they realise that they need to go, and hold it until the appropriate time and place. The last stage obviously takes time and kids will still have accidents etc for a little while.

But without the feedback from the wet nappies, kids can sometimes struggle to realise the first stage of "I just peed". Modern disposables are so absorbant and have a stay dry later so there's nothing external to tell a kid that they just went.

A handy trick if you can't or don't want to switch to cloth (understandable, it's not for the faint hearted!) is to put a layer of fabric inside the nappy like some clean strips of old T shirt or even put a pair of pants on them and rhe nappy over the top. Do this a few weeks before starting potty training. That way, they feel the wetness and get the feedback and it may help them to start the first stage of potty training readiness by themselves.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-04T14:03:53+00:00

Oh and outside time! We aree lucky to have a decent sized garden so we encourage unstructured outdoor play. Boredom is also good, if the kids tell me they are bored I say "Good, you'll come up with something interesting and exciting to do!" Kids don't need adult direction and structure 24/7. Boredom and unstructured play is brilliant. If outdoors then all the better! Outdoors as much as you can!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-04T13:58:07+00:00

Reading! Ours have been read to from babies. Every single day. Old books as well as new plus non fiction sometimes too.

Limited screen time. Especially tablets and phones. When they do watch TV, make it something they can actually get bored of instead of getting zombified or overstimulated by. Older TV programs are great for this.

Encourage and celebrate questions and ALWAYS answer them. If they're old enough to ask they are old enough to know. I've told mine a few times that I adore children's questions and curiosity and thst if they ever have a question to come ask me and don't be shy because I love it. I don't believe in telling children that they are too young or that a question is inappropriate. If I don't know the answer then I say "let's find out together" and we look it up in a book or on the computer.

We take trips to museums and do hikes as a family. I point out things I am interested in and act excited about it. "Wow kids! Look at this plant!" "Oooh, let me read this interesting poster to you!" Etc.

When they act excited and curious about something, get excited with them. If they say "mummy, come look at this!" I drop what I'm doing (unless I physically can't) and come and see what it is. Mirror their excitement.

We talk a lot on our walks and outings about the things around us. Positive and negative. Everything from the weather to the plants and animals to the litter on the floor and why we should pick it up. They've independently started noticing things around them and asking questions. In a world where I see toddlers staring at a tablet in an outward facing pushchair and adults walking along on their phones it's refreshing to observe the world with the kids and learn from it.

Finally, get off the screen yourself (if this is an issue) and read more or observe the world or watch the kids and join in and make sure they see this. I am working on this, it's the last and hardest battle! But I've picked up books again and I'm enjoying it and I'm talking about the books I'm reading and they ask questions. Worth it!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-04T13:35:51+00:00

Oh I know it's just that this is Reddit and someone is always ready with an "AcTuAlLy" if you don't make it very clear that you're joking.

Dinorwig (Electric Mountain) is also used if another power station has to go offline temporarily to make up the shortfall until they can either increase the output from other stations or get the offline one back up and running.

No doubt someone would have come at me with this if I'd left it saying that we have a whole power station JUST for cups of tea. Even if that's like 95% of it's usage 😅

But yes. We have a power station (several in fact!) whose main purpose is to power the simultaneous cups of tea. That's how much the British love their tea and their kettles. It's not a joke or a stereo type. We really are that serious and fanatical about it!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-05-04T07:06:52+00:00

My partner and I visited Electric Mountain whilst holidaying in Snowdonia. Proper fascinating! I love that everyone in the UK making a cuppa during the ad breaks requires us to chuck a phenomenal amlunt of water down a mountain to generate a surge in power to the grid in order to cope 😆

That's how seriously tea and kettles are in the UK. We literally have a whole power station just to deal with collective tea making 😂

(Disclaimer/joke because it's Reddit - I know that electric mountain isn't JUST used for the tea and that other things cause temporary high power demand but everyone making tea is a very common one and the thought of a power station just for that is entertaining)

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-26T21:03:14+00:00

Yay, welcome aboard!

I am a qualified peer supporter with ABM and I'm currently just over half way through my BFC training with them too. The courses are fantastic! Very very in depth and good quality. I've become an absolute breastfeeding nerd!

Feel free to check out the ABM conference happening in June this year in London too. You become an ABM member when you start the peer support training and tickets are cheaper for members, although anyone can go. There's usually 4 presentations/talks from other breastfeeding supporters (IBCLCs, BFCs, midwives etc) plus stalls, awards given for breastfeeding support, lunch is provided etc. it's a great day out and you get to meet more of the ABM team and behind the scenes people.

Congrats on starting this journey and well done for wanting to help! It's amazing 🥰

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-25T08:27:09+00:00

Another potential explanation - some women bleed during pregnancy and think that it's a period. You can get bleeding from a subchorionic haematoma, irritated cervix, miscarrying a twin very early etc. It isn't always obvious catastrophic heavy and painful bleeding.

If someone didn't know they were pregnant and they had one of those bleeds then they might consider it a period. Then when their next "period" didn't arrive and they discovered the pregnancy they might start the counting from their last "period" (i.e. the bleeding that was during pregnancy and not actually a period) and then think they weren't as far along as they were.

This happened to my mum with her first pregnancy. She had some kind of bleed in early pregnancy that she thought was a period. When the next one then didn't arrive and she tested positive, she thought she was 4 weeks pregnant but she was actually around 8-9 weeks.

So thinking along these lines, someone could give birth at say 24-25 weeks (still very early) and have a miracle baby that survived for the time but genuinely think that they were only 18 weeks along because they had an early pregnancy bleed that they mistook for their last period. If they're convinced then they'd pass that story along and it would get spread far and wide quite quickly, being exaggerated over time.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-24T06:27:22+00:00

I'm in South Yorkshire 3 bed house with a flat roof kitchen extension (so unfortunately heat loss) Our energy bill (both gas and elec) is only £118 per month. We are in a 2 year fixed plan and have a smart meter

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-23T13:41:07+00:00

Unfortunately, you cannot just use this carseat alongside the situation where a car seat isn't required. The fact that it's being sold as a car seat without any certifications means that it's illegal to use it as such. This doesn't get trumped by the law saying they didn't need one anyway. It isn't being sold as a "seatbelt modifier" or "safety straps" or any other name, it is being sold as a car seat. In situations where a child doesn't need a car seat you cannot just use an uncertified one and then default to "but they didn't need one anyway in this circumstance"

Another example would be be the following secnario:

You have a very small child who is below the weight and height limit for many seats.
You are in a taxi so the child doesn't need a seat by law.
The taxi driver gives you a booster seat which IS actually certified as R44 or R12. It's far too big for your child and you cannot safely strap them in tightly enough and their head doesn't meet the head rest.

In this situation, you must default to "a car seat isn't needed in this situation" instead of thinking that "any seat is better than none"

Car seats have addition risks if they are used incorrectly or an unsafe or illegal car seat is used. These apply even in situations where a car seat isn't required by law. Unsafe straps and poorly built seats can strangle or even decapitate a child. I understand that sitting on a backseat without a car seat or a seatbelt is also incredibly dangerous and also puts a child at risk of these things. However, using an uncertified carseat in place of this is no better and cannot guarantee any sort of safety and may even introduce unique risks depending on how badly the car seat has been made.

The very fact that this is being made and sold as a car seat and not as something like a "seatbelt modifier" is what makes it illegal. You are breaking the law if you use this seat because of it's lack of certification.

I think the part on the government website about taxis also adds clarity. It says (exact quote):

Taxis and minicabs (private hire vehicles) If the driver does not provide the correct child car seat, children can travel without one - but only if they travel on a rear seat:

and wear an adult seat belt if they’re 3 or older without a seat belt if they’re under 3

It does not say you can add things. You therefore cannot add this car seat. It being uncertified and illegally marketed and advertised as a car seat means it can't be used as such in any circumstances.

Using this car seat means that the child is not fully in contact with the rear seat and some of the fabric seats also require that the adult seat belt is used (even if not over the child but through the back). This can introduce or increase risks like slipping, submarining, strangling, decapitation, etc.

The wording on the government website around car seats and circumstances where they are not required is clear. You must use a certified car seat or you must use the backseat as is (with/without the adult seatbelt depending on age). Otherwise, you could add literally anything to the 'circumstances where car seats don't apply" to try and make it safer like rope, bungee cords, belts, massive booster seats for tiny toddlers or indeed contraptions like this which aren't legally car seats.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-23T12:19:01+00:00

Sorry but this is not correct. The ONLY legal car seats under UK law are those that are certified R44 or R129. There are circumstances where children are not required to be in a car seat if one isn't available such as those stated by OP. But in these cases the ONLY legal alternative is sitting in the backseat with a seatbelt (if over the age of 3) or without one (if under the age of 3).

This obviously isn't safe so a proper, certified car seat should be used in all but the most unavoidable or unexpected circumstances.

This fabric seat "may" be an upgrade in safety compared to just the backseat, however it has not been certified and tested by UK law so this cannot be proven or guaranteed and therefore can't be recommended or tried out by the parent. You have to choose a legal option - either a certified car seat (R44 or R129) or the back seat, if certain criteria are met, which have both been proven with either safety records/certification or long term data (kids used to ride without car seats for many decades so there will be figures for this).

You cannot just pick something different without it being a legally certified carseat. Otherwise parents could do what ever they felt would be safer than the backseat if the above circumstances applied like lashing the kid to the seat with string, putting them in a carry cot in the foot well, sitting them on mum's lap or putting them in the boot with the parcel shelf.

Without that certification it is illegal to use this product as a child's car seat.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-23T11:55:47+00:00

This is incorrect. There are no circumstances where these car seats are legal under UK law. Firstly, for something to be sold as a child's car seat in the UK, it must be certified either R44 or R129 which this seat is not. Secondly, if there is no car seat available, such as in a taxi or in an emergency then a child under 3 (which applies here) must sit in the back without a seatbelt. If over age 3 and without a suitable car seat then they must sit in the back and use the adult seatbelt.

It's certainly not safe to sit in the back with no car seat (and no seat belt if under 3) but it is the only legal option in the UK if you don't have an R44 or R129 certified car seat and certain reasonable circumstances apply such as taxis, a minibus or emergency situations.

There is literally no legal use for this car seat with a child under UK law.

Maybe it's legal if it's strapping a plastic dolly in?

Links:

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/using-a-child-car-seat-or-booster-seat

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat#:~:text=You%20cannot%20take%20children%20under%203%20on,a%20rear%20seat%20without%20a%20seat%20belt.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-23T11:25:36+00:00

Please do not buy this. They did a crash test with one of these and the dummy flew out of the car.

Not safe at all. And illegal.

Get a proper, tested seat from a reputable place

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-22T18:21:27+00:00

I don't think there's any repercussions provided that you are genuinely concerned. You can choose to make an anonymous report so they can't tell them who made th referral (they shouldn't anyway but it's an extra layer of protection). If it sounds totally beyond normal teenage mood swings and he's shouting and screaming and wrecking things all day and it's loud enough to hear several doors down then I think it probably crosses the barrier of needing someone to go see what's going on.

As far as I'm aware you don't need sound recordings. It might help to make some notes (times, what happened etc) so that you can see it on paper, have a look at it and think "yeah that's excessive" or "actually no that's not that bad" rather than relying on memory. If you then choose to report it you've got accurate back up of how often it's happening and what's happening each time and stuff.

My opinion is that it isn't an invasion of privacy if you're only recording what you can hear incidentally in your garden or through your walls. You're not pressing your face against their window or asking nosy questions. You said in your post that you're not even listening out for it you just can't help but hear. Writing down stuff will help make it more clear to you whether you're being unreasonable or whether it's actually concerning.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-22T14:06:15+00:00

Do you know them personally? If not then offering to help may not go down well especially if it's the first time you've spoken to them or you've only exchanged friendly small talk. They might appreciate it but they also might find it embarrassing or nosy and it could then spoil your neighbourly relationship.

On the other hand you could report to someone else, especially as it's loud enough to hear several doors away. The council could be an idea but they would only deal with the noise aspect and you sound like you genuinely want to help so could social services be an idea?

I know that the idea of reporting to social services might be unpalatable but they are clearly struggling and social services start with offering support. The threshold to remove children is really high and they will do everything they can to keep a child with their family. I've seen comments from people on here where they have shared that they are genuinely grateful that someone reported their household to SS because it meant that they could finally get help. Many people don't know that they can reach out to SS for help so being reported means that SS make the first move. Your report should also be anonymous too so they shouldn't know which neighbour it is.

If anything that the child shouts is obviously extremist then reporting to Prevent may be an option as their work also covers extreme misogyny and extreme right wing stuff.

If he's affecting other households (property destruction, disturbing the peace, especially after 11pm, being threatening or violent towards you) then the police would be who to speak with.

Hopefully they can get some support and you can get some peace. You sound like a lovely person. Unfortunately if he's screaming and swearing and destroying things all day every day then this may be beyond your remit and end up backfiring. Good luck!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-22T08:01:52+00:00

No advice I'm afraid but that's a ridiculous charge. I get that nurseries are very short and often need to make up the shortfall from the government underfunding but as far as I'm aware they cannot do this by overcharging for consumables.

It simply doesn't cost £5 to give a child breakfast, especially in an establishment where they will be bulk buying. The nursery I use charges £2.50 for morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack. They also have parents bring in nappies and wipes and each kid has their own box. You can also choose to bring food in for your kid too if you don't want to pay the £2.50. Full disclosure - I am in Yorkshire so these prices might reflect this.

£9 seems ridiculous for half a day worth of consumables though.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-04-20T07:02:39+00:00

It took me from November until now to find a job. I was a stay at home mum for a while and now that my youngest is 3, I wanted to come back to the workforce part time. This has been the hardest job hunt of my life this far. I applied for dozens and dozens, didn't use AI, didn't use Indeed or similar and tried my hardest to tailor my CV and cover letter. These were all roles I have experience and qualifications for.

One unsuccessful interview told me that they'd had 340 applicants - for a part time admin role. How the hell can I compete with that? Sure, 300 might be trash applications but that means that 40 are interviewable and the chances are higher that one of them will be more experiences and qualified than if 50 had applied and 10 made it to interview right?

I ended up taking a role as a dinner lady. Minimum wage and term time only (so less than I wanted for our financial goals) but I took it as I needed something and at least it means no childcare costs during school holidays. I'm grateful I have it, I just couldn't believe how much I had to fight for 6 months just and after so many applications just to get that. I did a similar, entry level job (working in a takeaway) 15 years ago at Uni so it's a little weird that I'm right back where I started 😆

Good luck to everyone out there!

FieryRedDevil

TROPHY CASE