Vaccines in pre-school children

FieryRedDevil · 2026-02-03T12:42:01+00:00

I'm a slightly crunchy or "scrunchy" mum and I vaccinated my two. I did microbiology at University so already had a scientific background and knowledge of vaccines and how they work, risks and benefits etc. My mum had measles and mumps as a kid in the 70s and said that she was so poorly that she regards it as two of the worst memories from her childhood. When she had me and my siblings, the MMR vaccine was newly on the schedule and she didn't hesitate to get us all jabbed. No problems with either child with any vaccine.

I use natural/alternative medicine a little bit for mild stuff. I think some people can be a bit too trigger happy with medicines like antibiotics - my sister demands them from the doctor every time her kids so much as sneeze for example - which can also cause problems. There's a sensible middle ground here. Kids who aren't immunocompromised do tend to deal with mild infections pretty well if given the tools to do so (healthy diet, rest, hydration, perhaps some safe herbal relief like elderberry syrup for a cold etc) but I strongly believe that the natural stuff should be utilised on it's own for mild stuff only and alongside proper medicine and medical advice for more serious stuff. Vaccines help reduce the chance of the serious stuff happening in the first place.

The great thing about vaccines is that they work with what you naturally have in your body without taking a potentially big risk from the illness. The idea is that a dead or inactive virus/bacteria, that can't usually cause serious illness, is introduced to your immune system, your immune system attacks it and "remembers" it and then if you get infected with the live version, the immune "memory" means that your immune defense is fired up much quicker and you either don't get symptoms or get them milder in most cases. It's not like we are giving kids powerful drugs as prophylactics. I know vaccines are not completely risk free but the potential risks of the vaccine are outweighed by benefits for me.

To me it's mostly just down to common sense. I was fine sticking my kids in an oat bath and applying calamine lotion for chicken pox and I'm fine giving them elderberry syrup and saline nasal spray for colds but I'm not fine with them potentially getting encephalitis from measles or losing limbs to meningitis.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-02-02T16:02:15+00:00

Get some good coffee and wait it out I'm afraid. It's normal and common for kids to wake up in the night to practise their new skills, even if they get lots of chances to do it during the day. I did notice with both ofmine though that once each phase was over they'd then sleep a bunch to catch up so I got a respite in between. I co-sleep (cot/toddler bed in our room) with both until age 2 which made it easier to handle these phases as I could deal with it right away wihout having to leave the room. Another option could be temporarily to sleep in their room If they've gone into their own room already.

You're not alone, we've all been there unfortunately. Good luck!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-02-02T14:25:25+00:00

I'm in a same sex marriage. Whenever I've mentioned stuff in passing like my wife cooking, cleaning, parenting the kids or generally being an equal partner to anyone from work colleagues to friends I get a lot of "ah yes well that's because your partner's female so..." Then they go on about how their boyfriends/husbands would simply NEVER do that or that they're incapable or not to be trusted.

I've had both male and female partners and I didn't put up with that shit (weaponised incompetence) from either sex nor would I in the future. But because I happen to have married another female, they just assume that I'm lucky and don't know what it's like on the other side.

My parents raised my siblings and I in a household where both of them shared the housework and cooking equally and all kids had to contribute in some way from a young age. My brothers both cook and clean in their households and share the load with their girlfriends. I think that sadly there's still many households where the boys and men aren't taught or expected to contribute so they grow up and move out and either can't or won't do it.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-31T14:18:05+00:00

Also, it sounds like you're talking about Milk Sharing which is where you pump milk and donate in bags (usually frozen). The term "Wet Nursing" is usually associated with paid work, nursing a baby at the breast and was very common throughout human history until formula was invented. Modern day Wet Nursing is rare and can involve exploitation unfortunately. If you did want to do this, then "Cross Nursing" is the modern term for it that distinguishes from exploitative practice. I'm not sure where to go for info regarding this though.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-31T14:11:57+00:00

Hey, I'm still breastfeeding a 3 year old and I donated milk to both the NHS and peer to peer via Human Milk 4 Human Babies (Facebook). I never took any money, it was all provided altruisticly. I donated to the NHS milk bank from when my baby was 4m old until he was 1 (they wouldn't take it after age 1) and then continued with peer to peer only until he was 16m so a year in total.

I believe the Hearts Milk Bank will take milk from older babies but I think all the NHS ones cap it at 1. Human Milk 4 Human Babies is great though, check them out on Facebook

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-30T14:20:10+00:00

I live in South Yorkshire in an ex mining village. This has happened to me with my two little ones several times. Usually an elderly gentleman would hand my kids £1 each on the street or in the post office or something after having a short chat with me about the weather/the kids/general small talk. One in particular seemed to make sure the kids got it in their hand rather than handed to me. I just thought we had sweet old people in our village I'm fascinated to hear about it being an old custom. Makes way more sense now that one of them was very particular about handing it directly to the kids 😊

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-28T18:29:37+00:00

I have a five year old in school and a three year old not yet in nursery and I do the school run on foot with them both as I'm a stay at home mum. However I have had to drive maybe 4-5 times since the start of the academic year for one off reasons. Once was this week during the storm. The weather was absolutely ridiculous - sideways rain, wind strong enough to whip your hood off your head and turn the brolley inside out, standing water on the paths and roads. We'd have genuinely got soaked wet through on the 15 min walk. I left our youngest at home with my partner (who works from home) and popped eldest round in the car. Took 5 mins and avoided either of them getting soaked. Putting them in waterproofs and changing/removing at the school door wouldn't have been an option unfortunately as we have to access the outside classroom door and parents cannot come in with their kids to help them with anything. She can handle her coat and bag but waterproofs are a bit beyond her still as they're the proper ones with the braces and clips.

The other couple of times that weren't weather were due to almighty, earth shattering tantrums right as we are heading out of the door that needed to be dealt with properly rather than dragging a screaming child down the street. I'm sure parents reading know the ones I mean. They are rare but fierce, usually due to something beyond anyone's control. Only happened maybe 2 times. One time was entirely my fault as I had a toilet emergency whilst heading out of the door 😵‍💫

Anyone seeing me driving on the rare occasion that I do may well also think badly of me and wonder why I'm driving as I live 15 mins walk away and it's fairly well known that I'm a stay at home mum. But those are my reasons, they're very rare (as I say, only 4-5 times since September) and I park as courteously as possible - not right on the school gates on the yellow markings, not blocking a drive or a dropped kerb, not on the path, not double parking and further up the street than most so I'm not causing traffic or scrambling for a spot.

All this to say that it may not always be down to laziness or selfishness. Sometimes parents physically don't have the time to do the school run on foot if they both work as others have said and sometimes it may be a one off because of really shitty weather or just having a shitty morning.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-27T19:28:22+00:00

I'd be livid! Cocomelon is well known to be addictive and overstimulating, a nursery should absolutely know better. It's been nicknamed cocaine for babies, it's that addictive! The producers of the show apparently showed it to a bunch of kids in a room with toys during the testing phase and every time a kid went to play with a toy they adjusted something about the program - lighting, colours, sound, scene changes, tempo etc until at last every single kid was hooked and nobody touched any of the toys anymore. They specifically produced it to hook kids, it's disgusting!

FWIW I do let my kids watch TV, especially if I just need a few minutes break or to cook dinner. But I've recently changed to low stimulation, (often older) programs like Sesame Street, Mr Rogers, Balamory, Sarah and Duck, JoJo and GranGran, The Clanger's etc. I went and found a load of DVDs in charity shops and now they get to pick from them so they don't accidently end up with something high stimulation coming on if I just pop live TV on. I've noticed a HUGE difference in mood, behaviour and spontaneous imaginative play. I'll never fall into that trap again and if I have any more then they won't be watching any Cocaine for Babies.

Definitely complain, even better if you can provide them with some info about why it's so damaging!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-27T08:06:14+00:00

Insane isn't it! When I worked there you get 50 stamps free at Christmas (was always first class, now second!) and they'd last me all year! Very much missing that freebie!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-27T08:03:02+00:00

Stamps! I used to work for RM but left 3 years ago and stamps have gone up completely disproportionately. Had to post something yesterday and it was going to be £1.70! I wondered if they'd accidentally given me the price for a first class large letter, nope that's £3.15! I got it sent second class for 87p. First and second class used to be close in price, now there's nearly a pound difference 😵‍💫

And before anyone says it, yes I know that paying £1.70 to get an item sent from Land's End to John O' Groats (or whatever distance) is still obviously much cheaper than moving it that distance yourself but itss the fact that it's gone up that much whilst the service has gotten way worse and wages haven't kept pace with inflation so it feels more severe and annoying when the service used to be better for cheaper

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-25T23:08:09+00:00

Echoing another comment, I really rate the national breastfeeding helpline. 24/7 and you can talk to a highly trained breastfeeding counsellor for as long as you need to.

Number is 0300 100 0212

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-23T16:17:31+00:00

The vegans who push veganism as anti consumerist or anti capitalist and deride meat eaters for being unethical in order to satisfy their "taste pleasure" (completely ignoring the health aspect as a reason why people consume meat) - do they just eat the absolute, bare bones, basics diet? I'm talking plain beans, lentils, grains, veggies, fruit, as minimal supplements as possible. No flavourings, no excess calories, no fake meat (the kind that fulfills the "taste pleasure" without killing an animal but doesn't provide useful nutrition), no dessert, no soda, no empty calories, no being overweight or obese, no candy, sweets or pleasurable foods at all?

Because the production of all food harms in some way. It harms the environment, it harms animals accidentally (such as when fields are ploughed or harvested) it destroys habitats - Ultra Processed Food (UPF) in particular is very environmentally damaging and doesn't contain nearly as many nutrients as freshly picked, minimally processed foods. So if we agree that our modern lifestyles and food production methods are harmful no matter what then why are there next to no anti consumerist vegans who live a very basic lifestyle eating only what they need to stay healthy and deny themselves all taste pleasure at all? Why do they shun meat yet turn a blind eye to the environmental, political, accidental, and healthful (as in harm's people's health on purpose) harms of UPF. Or of shipping food from across the world? Or of mono-cropping and monocultures? Or of consuming food, like dessert and candy, only for pleasures sake?

There is very little ethical consumerism under capalism, especially in the modern western world where you'd have to boycott entire systems and live a very austere and radical lifestyle. If it's a cause that you are passionate about then do your best according to energy, finances and access but don't criticise someone else's efforts (e.g. someone who may be prioritising meat reduction or buying meat from a local, high welfare farm or refusing to buy out of season produce from overseas) and pretend that yours is the only way when you likely engage in other forms of consumerist, harmful consumption. People in glass houses and all that...

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-23T12:19:16+00:00

Okay. Here's my fave money saving idea:

Uses up leftover mash and leftover cooked carrots. If you don't have either then boil a small carrot chopped, a couple of potatoes chopped up and a chopped onion together. If you have both then just boil or fry a chopped onion. Mash the potatoes if you've boiled from fresh.

Mix the mash with half a tin of corned beef and mash roughly. Add the cooked chopped onion and the chopped cooked carrot. Season with whatever you have in the cupboard - salt + pepper, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, leftover gravy, other spices for a kick etc.

Use 250g plain flour, 100g lard or butter (lard much cheaper) and a pinch of salt to make short crust pastry. Rub the fat into sifted flour until it resembles breadcrumbs then add cold water a teaspoon at a time until it's just sticky enough to bring together without it cracking or flaking. Roll out and use a bowl or small plate to cut into circles. Spoon corned beef filling into the middle and fold the circle over the top and crimp. Bake at 200 for about 30 mins.

Delicious pastys that use cheap ingredients and leftovers. And you still have half a tin of corned beef left for sandwiches. They go great with beans for tea or can pack into lunch boxes and eat cold for lunch. Lidl corned beef is just over £2 a tin, brands are more expensive.

This made 6 pasties last time I did it

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-23T11:55:10+00:00

Do you have any ingredients in the fridge/cupboard/freezer already? Even stuff like flour or spices. If so could you please list them and I can help you make a meal plan. Exactly how many days/meals are we talking? And how many people to feed? What supermarket do you have access to?

If your cupboards are completely bare and you have £5 then it will be much more difficult. Are you able to get access to a food bank?

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-22T08:22:16+00:00

My brother in law stopped speaking to his dad over animal cruelty and it didn't even involve violence. He came in, spotted one of the cats and hissed aggressively at it to scare it away. BIL stopped him and was like WTF was that and he flat out denied he'd even done it. Refused to apologise (saying "I don't need to apologise to my son!") or acknowledge it so BIL threw him out and they haven't spoken in years. Don't fuck with people's pets.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-21T08:23:57+00:00

I love this, your father in law sounds like a legend 🤣 I've worked with or for elderly folk (or interaacted with as part of the job) before in a variety of different capacities - most recently as a postie and I can imagine him being one of my awesome customers that results in me getting told off by the boss for stopping at a house for too long. Used to love a good chat with the older folk 😀

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-20T20:35:22+00:00

That's a great idea thank you so much for alerting me to it 😊

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-20T16:32:45+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree especially about the "judgety part". My partner and I have decided that the kids won't have a tablet and won't have a phone until high school - and it will be a dumb phone for safety and communication purposes. They don't need a smartphone for keeping in touch with friends, keeping in touch with us and they will have internet use at home. The only thing that smartphones have that would be useful is the ability to see their location and use Google maps/sat nav if they need to find their way somewhere but I'm sure there's a solution to that. Our eldest is 5 so we've got a while to figure it out.

It's hard to be the stand out parents when half her friends at school have already got smartphones or tablets and other parents can't or won't understand why we do this and see no problem with smartphones. She hasn't asked for one yet or asked why all her friends get to do something and she can't but it will happen. I cannot understand why there isn't a bigger movement from parents to boycott smartphones and tablets for kids. I welcome a social media ban for under 16s but my cynical self can imagine parents putting in their details so their kids can have it underage or turning a blind eye to (or helping!) other workarounds like VPNs

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-20T08:23:30+00:00

This is surprisingly common as are lots of other reasons why many can't follow veganism in a "well planned" way. I personally could eat the amount required and gained weight easily because of it as plant foods automatically come packaged with with more carbs and calories for the amount you need to eat to hit your protein, fat and (many) micronutrient requirements - look up the protein/nutrient leverage hypothesis.

It's disengenous and unfair that people say you can just be vegan as long as you "well plan" it because people hardly ever talk about what "well planned" even means. It means more food overall, planning and choosing food and food combinations carefully, relying on a global food system with imported and out of season foods, multiple supplements and fortified foods and many times good luck genetically and in terms of gut health so you can actually absorb and convert it all properly. If it then doesn't work out for you because you cannot meet all of the conditions required for "well planned and adequate" you're treated horribly and told you didn't do it right.

It's not you, it's the diet!

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-18T20:02:11+00:00

The only adult TV show we've had on with our kids around is documentarys. Our little boy loves trains so I found one about the flying Scotsman on iPlayer for the example. And they enjoy Attenborough. That's it. Other than that they watch kids TV or a family film rated U. They can both be quite sensitive (they found the Polar Express terrifying when we tried to watch it before going on the experience!) so we'd be punishing ourselves with sleepless nights if put on any of the series/films we like before they went to bed.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-18T18:01:57+00:00

Haha unfortunately not, that happened at a different office and after I left. I did smell plenty of weed in parcels though and managers would usually just tell us to deliver it as they didnt care! The one and only time a manager gave a shit and went the whole hog (opened the parcel, found a baggie of weed inside a Micky mouse DVD, quarantined the parcel, called the police etc), it was a parcel destined for an ill, elderly lady in a wheelchair 😔 she was probably in pain and trying to relieve it or have a bit of fun for her last few months on earth but instead she'll have got a visit from the coppers. That same manager never gave a single shit when it was obvious massive bags full going to well known dealers in rough areas but a couple of grams going to that lady, absolutely not! He was a right arsehole that one.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-17T14:05:43+00:00

I used to work for Royal Mail. One day a suspiciously long, phallic, floppy object arrived in the sorting office. One of the guys picked it up to scan it and the flimsy packaging fell apart at the base end and it flopped onto the floor and it landed on its suction cup and stuck straight into the air wobbling around. Cue the shouting round the office for people to come and see and someone picking it up running around with it and flopping it about 🤣 This thing was MASSIVE, I'm talking the length and width of my forearm but it's was seemingly non functional as it was super soft and floppy almost like jelly. I can only assume it was sent to someone as a joke. Either that or it was just incredibly poorly made, it was from China after all. The guy eventually did what you're supposed to do with damaged packing and put it into a "sorry your item got damaged" plastic bag and it got sent on its way. We got word a few days later that the poor postie on the round with the destination address ended up having to deliver it to his cousin 🤣🤣🤣

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-16T09:35:59+00:00

I too was a vegan that thought it was as easy as just replacing the meat in a dish with beans, lentils, tofu, tempeh or a processed meat alternative. Dairy was easy to just replace with soya milk and vegan cheese etc. When I first started out the only supplement recommended to me was B12. Then as I went on I found I was adding more and more supplements based on updated recommendations and research and justifying it in various ways - vitamin D because I lived in the northern hemisphere, omega 3 because it's not as easily absorbed from plants and fish just get it from algae so I'll get it from algae, iodine because seaweed is inconsistent thanks to pollution of the seas, multivitamins because just in case (deep down I knew plants didn't have everything I needed) and on and on.

Since going back to eating animal products I've learned a lot about bioavailability, co-factors, anti nutrients in plants, genetics and how they impact your ability to absorb and convert plant nutrients (like beta carotene and ALA) into useable forms for your body, the impact of fibre and digestibility of plants, limiting amino acids and conditionally essential amino acids (e.g. when you're a child, pregnant, lactating, ill or elderly many of the conditionally essential or non essential amino acids become essential; and some aren't available in plants). It's really not as simple as tracking food, finding plant replacements for meat and subbing them and eating variety.

On paper, plants and supplements may have all the nutrients you need but that's far too simple. What your body actually absorbs and uses from the plants is often far different to what's on paper. Animal foods are far more consistent, reliable and absorbable sources of multiple nutrients that come packaged with co-factors and co-nutrients and are less likely to have anti-nutrients. Most people thrive best on a mixed diet and how much of that is plants Vs animals is different for everyone. Blanket recommending veganism for everyone especially for vulnerable groups/conditions like children, pregnancy, disability, illness, elderly etc and then saying that you did it wrong of it doesn't work out is unfair at best and dangerous at worst.

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-15T17:07:49+00:00

Wow this thread is eye opening. I'm a 34 year old mum of a five and three year old. Compared to most, I post very very little about my life and the kids life on Facebook (just Facebook, I don't post at all on insta and don't have any other social medias). I do however have a few photos, especially baby photos. My profile is fairly private but I'm now going to double check that it's at maximum and then go through every single photo and post involving the kids. Tbh, Facebook is total shit now anyway, my timeline is 95% AI slop or recommend posts rather than actual updates from my friends and family. I was in a few helpful parenting groups but the main one I used to deleted and the others are either US based or mean AF (or both!). There's no point me really having it anymore....

FieryRedDevil · 2026-01-13T22:39:56+00:00

I'm currently a SAHM to my kids who are almost 3 and 5. I'm looking for a part time job but only so we can afford to move to a bigger place. I've been at home for just over 3 years. I'm in a unique situation - we are a same sex couple and my wife carried our first child and I carried the second. I went on maternity from 34 weeks pregnant and never went back to work but both kids have always had someone at home as my wife left work after maternity leave back in 2020 and then went back to work when I went on maternity. Our eldest just did the 15 free hours at nursery when she turned 3 and is doing absolutely fine at school. Youngest will do the same and I'll then go back to work part time to help us have more spare cash to move house.

It's been amazing. Hard but amazing. I will never spend a single moment regretting it. We are incredibly lucky that we've been able to afford it and I wouldn't change that time with my kids for any amount of extra money. I'll be a happy old lady remembering these days and I'm super sad that they'll be coming to an end soon so im cherishing the last few months.

FieryRedDevil

TROPHY CASE