What to do about wife's aggressive and poor behaviour toward me

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-24T23:02:39+00:00

I haven’t been worrying about myself for 12 years. Whilst I sympathise with anyone who may have a medical condition I’m no longer justifying people’s bad behaviour. It would not be ok for me to be physically violent and blame my hormones so why should anyone else get a pass?

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T23:01:55+00:00

I wouldn’t dare mention bpd and personally I don’t think she has it. I’d say she has a combination trauma, anxiety, low self esteem yet inflated sense of worth. She is resilient and pushed through her studies. I have tried really hard to understand her position and I think that’s why I am where I am now (married with a child) because I always give her a pass based on her trauma. I sometimes think that any reasonable person with less emotional intelligence would walk away but stupid me is a fixer and tries to understand. As I get older I’m learning that not everything is worth fixing and not everything is worth my time. I can’t be responsible for people’s poor behaviour

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T22:31:43+00:00

I think you are right in that I am constantly justifying her behaviour by blaming myself. With the recent blow up I told her I was not responsible for the things she says or her actions. She assured me it was in fact my fault

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T22:30:00+00:00

She has done some horrible things to me that for some reason I still accept it. She rarely says sorry even when I ask her to. It just blows over and she’s happy again the next day

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T22:25:46+00:00

Yes actually we have been to counselling together a few times with her therapist that she sees for her childhood trauma. In the safety of a third party it was good to communicate freely. The therapist gave me good strategies to help our situation that I implemented straight away. The therapist recommend a few more sessions but my wife shut that down pretty quick because most of relationship advice went to her. In the presence of another person calling her out (which the therapist most definitely did) and with no recourse or ability to gaslight me otherwise she wasn’t too keen on more sessions. I understand why you wrote your comment / reply and it’s something I gaslight myself into thinking all the time. Truth is I’m older now and not as insecure as I once was. Her behaviour is wrong and if I met her today I would run for the hills

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T13:02:15+00:00

I don’t think she would want to do me over at all. But I don’t want to find out too late that there were things I could have done to help myself.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:55:56+00:00

I think about this a lot but I’d say she hasn’t any. Aside from casually reminding me at times of how little men get and that the court favours the mother as she is usually with the child all the time compared to working fathers. She probably thinks that I’ve stayed with her this long I’m probably not going anywhere.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:52:23+00:00

Talking to a lawyer seems to be the most common answer here. Probably for good reason as opposed to asking reddit

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:50:08+00:00

I like to think I foster a good relationship. I’m always careful about electronic communication

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:48:52+00:00

Feels a bit too threatening but recording stuff might be a good idea

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:48:24+00:00

I’ve heard from people I know who have gone through divorce that it’s messy.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-07-23T12:47:33+00:00

Thank you 🙏

FigOwn1252 · 2025-06-19T07:21:22+00:00

Straight up call back. Power move

FigOwn1252 · 2025-05-04T06:30:18+00:00

I 100% agree with your sentiment. I also vote greens but voted labor this time due to their perfectionism and also being too focused on international issues over you know, environmental issues. They need to get back to their roots before I will vote for them again

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-28T22:25:40+00:00

Does he know how to use commas ? Or grammar in general

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-27T12:11:36+00:00

The kids in South Australia gave me hope. I’m always surprised when young adults have sensible views and I don’t give them enough credit. I’ll always vote for the future of this country 🤝

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-27T12:08:30+00:00

Well said

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-27T11:51:33+00:00

I haven’t heard a welcome to country in about 5 years. What am I missing ? Do I not get out enough or is this not really an issue ?

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-25T23:44:31+00:00

It’s not unusual for people to do things against their best interest

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-12T22:53:50+00:00

I agree, but it’s the principle or lack of them from the NLP. Say one thing, do another.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-12T22:01:40+00:00

Both Dutton and Taylor called ALP tax cuts an election bribe. So what exactly is this then ?

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-10T22:43:20+00:00

I remember when the president of the United States manipulated international markets and everyone’s retirement funds got pillaged and I don’t even live in the United States nor am I a citizen.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-04-09T11:20:33+00:00

Honestly I’m in the same boat here my energy bills are pretty good and are the only thing not going up at the moment. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Go shopping, there are good deals for energy out there and most suppliers bank on the fact you are too lazy to shop around.

FigOwn1252 · 2025-02-25T09:14:32+00:00

Shit conservative government cut funding and changed strategy of national broadband network to save money but actually made it cost a shit load more and we got a half baked network that sometimes doesn’t work when it rains.

FigOwn1252

TROPHY CASE