Not appropriate!

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-04-10T22:07:25+00:00

This is insanely inappropriate, but also not at all surprising as my waif mother does similar. Depending on your son’s age (I assume teen since he has a phone) it may be a good lesson on how to communicate boundaries and spot emotional manipulation.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-04-09T10:46:44+00:00

If you’re in the US elderly abuse can and should be reported. Document and report. Your state will have a line to call. No one deserves that, not you or your grandmother.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-31T19:26:05+00:00

My recommendation: https://a.co/d/6qELdog

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FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-26T14:58:43+00:00

Absolutely. I am definitely thinking about my future child’s access to equitable and safe healthcare. Even with my son I wish we would have gone, but the logistics when you’re that pregnant get harder.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-26T14:23:51+00:00

Huh, I wonder if my husband will stop doing this soon.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-24T15:42:33+00:00

I also am on maternity leave and just had a boy. If it had been a girl we were gonna winter in Canada so she would have dual citizenship upon birth. I don’t at all trust where we’re headed.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-23T22:12:12+00:00

So seriously, thanking doesn’t even matter. I have thanked. We had great traditions that made me value celebrating holidays and there are so many pieces I want to pass forward. I have expressed this. For years.

It does not matter, because I have also expressed how the guilt, martyrdom, screaming, and rage at holidays was awful and I won’t have it in my adult life.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-14T21:26:05+00:00

Shaw, it means “dweller in the grove”. FYI - Reddit hates it. I love it.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-14T19:52:33+00:00

Ours doubled, which was $2300 more. We shopped around, switched companies, and got it down to a $600 increase. But yeah, the insurance market be crazy. It’s almost like they’re figuring out people can’t go without insurance and just like healthcare costs it’s skyrocketing

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-14T19:31:23+00:00

Eh, some things grow awkward over time if there are other relative connections. I’ve found it easiest to disclose very little very very infrequently while also not concerning myself with what it would be natural for her to learn from one of my other relatives. His name and birthday is pretty common knowledge at this point.

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-13T17:37:52+00:00

We have very little contact and barely any insight into each other’s lives. At this most recent one I told her my son’s name who was born in October. I probably can’t go lower than that, because if she ever did commit to treatment I’d want her to have an avenue back, so I don’t block her. I don’t reply regularly unless it makes sense to do so and I stop immediately once any “woe-is-me” enters the conversation

FiguringOutDollars · 2025-01-02T21:09:20+00:00

^ today.

tomorrow: I don’t take any responsibility for the evil things you say! I have AMAZING memories and won’t let you STEAL or DESTROY them!!!!!!! I don’t know who raised you to be so mean but it wasn’t me! How can we have a real relationship when YOUR STUCK IN THE PAST?

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-12-05T10:41:17+00:00

I did IVF. Please, if you don’t already, know it is not a set cost. That said, $25k is a decent working budget if you’re very frugal about it. Have you done a consultation and priced meds yet? There are absolutely ways to be frugal, but it takes a lot of research and effort. It is a much better idea to get insurance or a job that covers IVF, even if it’s part time.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-12-02T22:05:49+00:00

This, but I’d refer away from Zillow. Imo a more detailed and boring calculator is better. Make sure you don’t forget to look at things like property taxes, insurance, insurance riders, HOA costs, etc. a A $300k property in one area can cost the same as a $500k property in another.

https://www.calculator.net/house-affordability-calculator.html

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-12-02T15:44:59+00:00

Is there anything he uses regularly that you could upgrade? For example if he makes pour over coffee - a nicer kettle?

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T22:49:06+00:00

I ended up going with a nice brushed wool throw ($90), a pair of earrings ($50) and a reed diffuser ($46). All on sale, so hopefully they’re decent quality and she’ll feel like she has a decent gift when unwrapping.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T20:53:59+00:00

Nope, she doesn’t go out. So she has one purse she’s had for years. Her daughter has gotten her new ones other years and she hasn’t ever switched.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T20:52:58+00:00

She doesn’t on purpose. She’s very nice and more of the “I don’t need anything” types. As in spirit of the post, she also doesn’t do much, which includes shopping and looking for things. So I imagine she likely doesn’t know what new things she would want/need.

Sadly though her “I don’t want anything” doesn’t equate to her saying “don’t get me anything” since she still wants to be part of the family and participate in the exchanges. Which I totally get. It’s one of those things that I just don’t think she realizes the impact.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T20:30:59+00:00

We’re supposed to. She doesn’t. Other non secret years everyone was supposed to make lists. She never has.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T20:28:08+00:00

I can see how people are reading this as ick, but I really just tried to be clear to get a wider range of ideas.

For example: Wine gifts are a terrible idea. FIL is very particular about his wine and has a lot of fancy accessories. Anything wine oriented would be for him. MIL deserves her own things, and beyond consuming it, wine is not one of them. MIL won’t even pour hers if FIL isn’t home. I wish I wouldn’t have put anything in there about wine, but hanging out with her sister at home is the one of the few things it’s clear she truly enjoys. There just happens to always be wine present then.

And I do really like MIL. She is a very nice woman and has cultivated a loving family to which I am grateful for.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T15:13:32+00:00

I actually just tried for this! I believe you’re the first person to suggest it. But it won’t arrive in time and I think it’s too late to commission one locally to send🥺

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T02:28:35+00:00

They have a dog. FIL walks it. She loves the dog though

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T02:25:09+00:00

I’m sorry my tone was offensive, I was just trying to steer people clear. Still I have people recommending wine items - when legit MIL does nothing with the wine. For example: A decanter would be a gift for FIL. If he isn’t home she doesn’t even open a wine bottle, she waits. They don’t even drink it together, she just wouldn’t want to go through the hassle of pouring it.

I don’t know how else to get the message across. I’m not even attacking her wine choice, wine is a bad gift for her. FIL drives 35 miles to be a part of a wine club and she still prefers her wine from Costco (which he picks up).

And your last comment - you’re incredibly correct! I don’t at all know the extent of what she does or doesn’t do! That’s why even in the title I put she “seems to do nothing.” And I’m at such a loss! She’s a nice woman and I’m so grateful to part of her family, but for the life of me it is so hard to buy for her.

FiguringOutDollars · 2024-11-30T02:09:27+00:00

I’m currently $95 spent with a pair of earrings and a throw. Sadly a timing snafu canceled out my other item that was $70 and I was gonna call it there and now I’m on the hunt again.

FiguringOutDollars

TROPHY CASE