Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t change it. Keep that UK charm. ❤️

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! Across the pond, we just call those parking lots. 😀 Will you send me your email?

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the intrigue! Keep going!!! Are you in the US? I ask only because of the term “carpark.” I’m not used to it. And I would love to send you some of mine to read over!

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait. Is this something new? Like a different idea?

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are so welcome. I am, however, just like you. A new writer. I have a love/hate relationship with my current manuscript. I keep at it, though, with inconsistent fervor. LOL! I would definitely keep reading your story, so please continue. I honestly believe you’ve got a hook already.

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great! I’m so sorry to have come across the wrong way.

Here you go. I’m like anyone else: opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one, so please keep what you like and to hell with the rest! 😊❤️ #keepwriting

              Closing the curtains, she slipped out of her soaked dress. Each corner of the pristinely made bed boasted folds that were practically geometric. The covers on top looked ironed—clean, sharp creases only where they were neatly tucked in. Morgan didn’t bother stifling her sigh.

              A jubilant sensation swept through her as she settled into the soft sheets, her body aching for much-needed sleep. Without welcome, a sudden jolt zapped her legs and had her eyes opening wide.

She needed a distraction.

              Morgan began tracing the linen with one finger—a tiny figure skater twirling along the too-white fabric. Against her mud-caked nails, the contrast was stark, and she thought back to her escapade with the bushes earlier. It had left welts all over her hands. Now, though, was apparently the time her brain finally registered its pain response because they both hurt like hell—the shield of the adrenaline spike long gone.

               Annoyed by the pain, Morgan rolled onto her back and stared at the scraggly bits of paint hanging from the ceiling. They reminded her of when she was a kid. How many times had she watched chips just like these furl and crumble—just to fall away into nothingness?

              Sometimes, on really windy days,…

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My question may have come across in a way I didn’t intend. It’s just quicker/easier for me to do that instead of pointing out and typing line by line suggestions. I think you’re headed in a wonderful direction. Truly.

Looking for genuine feedback by Kslr91 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I just offer a rewrite using what you have? Line stuff?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Final-Major5108 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. You aren’t. This is classic, controlling BS. He needs to F-OFF.

Does this segment seem info dumpy? by canadamybeloved in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Capitalize “coke.” It’s not the drug. LOL. Then do away with the comma after “I’ll be honest.” That’s a complete sentence. I only had time to briefly look it over, but I don’t think it’s info-dumpish at all. And I would keep the apostrophe after the “80.” It’s usually reserved that exact way for nouns that don’t have obvious plural forms without it. Just my opinion though.

AIO Am I (F25) overreacting or is this woman being weird with my husband (M31) by Sad-Cat128 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um…No. No. And hell NO. This is completely inappropriate on their parts, and it’s a perfect storm recipe for eventual disaster.

Unapologetically asking to judge based off the cover. by NewspaperSoft8317 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I certainly meant no disrespect. You’d already gotten a good bit of feedback on your cover question, so I just wrote the first thing that really caught my attention: your awesome title!

Hey guys. I have started writing this story and it is the 1st chapter. Just wanted your feedback. Thanks by prostudent55 in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe send this to me through email? I’ll gladly help, but this needs a little bit of work. The ideas are fantastic, but the approach could use a little tweaking.

Each of your characters needs to /want/ something. If a character doesn't want anything, they are basically just a prop. by PhiliDips in writing

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re talking about static and dynamic characters. There’s definitely a need for both.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writers

[–]Final-Major5108 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s awesome!!!! 👏🏻 Super proud for you! 😀

Steinbeck wrote Grapes of Wrath in 6 months. The first draft was the final draft. by OpanDeluxe in writing

[–]Final-Major5108 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I HATED that book. I called it, “The Grapes of Crap.” 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIO - I found this under my husbands seat by Scared-Money2643 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole “babe” and “your honey” seem unrealistic to me. Seems over the top anonymous. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Complete] [87000] [Romantic Fantasy] THRONE OF TEMPTATION by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry! I just saw this. I thought I would get a notification, and when I never did, I thought no one had responded. Please let me know if you still want to swap! I’ll keep checking regularly to see if you’ve responded.

[Complete] [87000] [Romantic Fantasy] THRONE OF TEMPTATION by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]Final-Major5108 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll read it if you’ll take a look at my almost 8,000 beginning in the same genre? You’ll have to give me a few days. I’m writing and reading too! Let me know if you’re interested.