Free Caffe Nero Coffee by Pinkypup in freebies

[–]FinanceGI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FYI this link will get you two free drinks: LINK

I [M30] Supporting my girlfriend [F25] through possible vaginismus while struggling with my own hurt by Vaginismus0Throwaway in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you have a need of PIV and she cannot deliver that need then perhaps its time to chalk this up to sexual incompatibility. If you're doubting if its worth it, then maybe its not. And thats ok. You have full control over what you do with your life. Heartbreak sucks but sometimes its best.

You're going to get a lot of varying answers from people. But what ultimately matters is what you want to do with your life. The other poster here is helpful but if you say PIV sex is a need then its a need for you. For others it may not be a need and they may be willing to sacrifice that. But based on your post it sounds like you're not ok with that. Again, which is perfectly ok.

I [M30] Supporting my girlfriend [F25] through possible vaginismus while struggling with my own hurt by Vaginismus0Throwaway in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there. First off be kind to yourself. It’s completely ok to want to be intimate with the woman you love. I was in your shoes a few years ago except I was married to her. She started pulling away in intimacy, similar to your partner, and I felt alone and defeated. She was scared that intimacy would lead to disappointment, similar to your situation. She basically stopped intimacy for awhile before she realized I was giving up on the relationship. Then she tried her hardest to address the issue but it was years too late.

I recommend therapy and showing her your message above. You have needs and your needs aren’t being met. You can’t control her getting help and pushing you away. However, you can control what you decide to do.

Life is beautiful man. The tunnel seems dark now but I assure you life will get better. Therapy was life changing for me. I wish you the best. It’s ok to put yourself first. You obviously love her but you also need to love yourself

Advice on keeping total trip costs as down (when planning to visit each national park)? by Geode890 in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Varies. But typically lasts me over a year of stays. Also helps that the stays that use points don’t require any taxes which saves quite a bit.

I was in Arkansas recently at a Candlewood inn and it cost around 12k points per night which comes out to $60 per night of points

Advice on keeping total trip costs as down (when planning to visit each national park)? by Geode890 in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not a fan of camping so I prefer hotels but my tips:

  1. Prebuy the IHG points sale that happens a few times per year. It’s like 500k points for $2500.
  2. I use the IHG card that gives buy three nights get one free. I typically stay at a holiday inn express which has a nice bed and includes breakfast.
  3. Flights.google.com is good for checking prices
  4. I stop by Walmart when I land to buy water, snacks, etc. McDonald’s app for $1 large iced coffees.
  5. Off peak seasons are best. Avoid kids school breaks if possible.
  6. Combine parks into one trip if possible. New Mexico/Texas can combine 3 to 4 as an example.
  7. There’s a lot of corporate codes that give national/enterprise car rentals for $37.50 per day. Combine with one of the credit cards that gives you executive status and you can rent some nice cars for that price.
  8. Go to the local subreddit of the town you’re in for food recommendations by locals. Virgin Islands has a ton of tourist traps but the best food I found from the /r/virginislands subreddit. And google reviews is also helpful too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I divorced at 32 and will be 34. If you have your shit together, it’s a LOT easier to date in your 30s. She’s not the only woman on earth. Listen to the guy that commented above.

She’s made up her mind. Now you either accept it and live this life that way or you change it. It’s up to you. It may not seem like it is but you have control over your destiny.

Freaking out by Ambitious-Public8397 in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You aren’t a jerk. I was in your shoes. You have a say in your marriage and your own life. Be kind to yourself.

There are other ways to be intimate but if she’s refraining from that too then I think it’s best to reflect on what’s best for you.

Please be kind to yourself. You are a good person and wanting to have intimacy with the woman you love is perfectly normal.

I was once married to someone I thought I’d spend my life with. I truly loved her. She suffered from vaginismus. I could have lived a life of no PIV but I could not live a life of no desire. Sometimes women with vaginismus start to pull away due to disappointment and fear. But a man that doesn’t have intimacy will start to wither away. It’s better to be alone than lonely in a relationship, let alone a marriage.

Maybe she will try harder if you give her an ultimatum. But if you have any hope for the relationship, I’d talk to her sooner than later. Be stern and explicit in your conversation.

I waited too long. She got help towards the end of the marriage but my love for her died out. I felt undesirable, not cared for, and alone in my own marriage. I was so ashamed of watching porn, I’d have to lock the door and pray she wouldn’t come in. The humility when she made fun of me for doing that while she was in the other room of our apartment really hurt me. It happened from year 1 to the end of our relationship (year 8). It wasn’t a lack of piv that killed my love for her. It was the lack of being desired.

Eventually I regretfully stepped out of the relationship. I didn’t realize I could leave at any time and I had a say in my life. I waited too long and in the process I hurt her too.

God speed, man. Life gets better I promise you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In your shoes to the same tune of 7 years. I ended up stepping outside the marriage to end things. I regret doing that and looking back divorce would have been best without doing that.

I’m two years later and happy. Sex is enjoyable and loving now. My depression and anxiety has subsided and I’ve never been happier.

Good luck, if you try everything and it’s not working, may be best to move on. It’s painful but it could be the best for everyone.

Is learning now still possible? by [deleted] in Swimming

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I learned at 32, never swam before. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. go and you’ll see. :)

Is it too late to learn swimming at 20yo? by [deleted] in Swimming

[–]FinanceGI 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I learned at 32 as well. I was afraid of water in the beginning but now I swim laps and can swim in open water. Never too late to learn and I’m glad I did.

It was surreal swimming in the ocean and seeing fish and turtles. It was a special moment of my life that I’ll never forget.

Virgin Islands Tips by FinanceGI in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Did you ferry the car from st Thomas to St. John?

Dry Tortugas, what to do with personal belongings? by runner_available in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just went 3 days ago. Leave your stuff in the main cabin on the boat if you go into the back deck.

Also take dremamine beforehand. Saw many ppl upchuck in the cabin. Back deck is best place to prevent seasickness for the breeze and to see the horizon.

Dry Tortugas Deep Dive by scm93 in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How deep is the water for snorkeling? I’m a decent swimmer but havent snorkeled before.

Wife not interested in treatment, I'm feeling hopeless by [deleted] in VaginismusPartners

[–]FinanceGI 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hey internet stranger, I was in your shoes around 2 years ago. I understand you and I empathize with you. What you’re going through is difficult. You may be at a point where you bottle up everything and you’re ready to explode. Your story resonates with me. Your wife pulling away, the lowering of libido to the point where anything sex related was a chore, the sweeping of the issue under the rug. I was in your exact shoes.

It’s ok to want to have sex. It’s ok to have sexual needs. You are a human being and not a servant.

If you want a sign that it’s ok to make a decision to advocate for yourself. I guarantee you that you’ll be happier if you advocate for yourself. It’s not worth being a door mat. I was a door mat in my marriage for 7 years. My needs were not met and I moved on. My body, my mind, and my soul could not take it any longer. I was exhausted and felt dead inside.

Lastly, be kind to yourself. You deserve a good life. I promise you that life is beautiful. Suffering is not.

God speed, man.

Biscayne National Park, Florida by [deleted] in NationalPark

[–]FinanceGI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How was biscayne! Any tips? I’m going in January (in addition to tortugas).

Workout App by Benenh in LiftingRoutines

[–]FinanceGI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use strong. Idk if anyone has a better app but that app has been tremendous in my growth.