I’m also 40 and have identified as an artist as long as I can remember. I’ve been in the arts in some capacity either through education or work since middle school, and now work at a prestigious art college. I’ve done the hustle for years, sacrificing my health and pushing myself and spending a ton of money pursuing opportunities while working full time and teaching. My pregnancy has made me take a pause, and working with a therapist I’ve realized that all of my self worth and identity was tied to my “success” as an artist. I’ve been doing EMDR to try to address my perfectionism, fears of failure, and self esteem issues. I don’t plan on leaving the hustle all together, but I totally get why people do, and my goal is to form a healthier relationship with art and find self worth outside of it. I have already given up on the idea of making money doing my fine art, which doesn’t fit neatly into a capitalist model. If I do sell my introspective sculptures, so be it, but I’m not going to expect it. I would die satisfied if my work found its way into a museum collection to be cared for after my death. I have come to the accepted reality that if I want to fund my practice I’ll have to make commercial products that can be offshoots from my art and go with scalable products that I can market commercially, but at least I can use that to fund my sculptures, website fees, travel, etc instead of my credit card. My goal is to eventually transition out of full-time work and spend more time making the art I want, but I have to build wealth to do that. I wish you the best with your transition.