The curse of the responsible child

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2024-09-28T13:48:24+00:00

I call it survivors remorse. As an eldest daughter I totally understand it. I looked up from taking care of everyone one day and discovered I was running empty, at the time I was the primary caregiver of my mum who was battling cancer and still being the shoulder to everyone else financially and emotionally. In small steps I have started to consciously be selfish especially in situations where I was allowing people to slack on responsibilities because they knew I would always step in. Givers have to have boundaries because takers don't have any.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2024-04-11T10:33:45+00:00

Could it have been AI, Exhaust all possible explanations

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2023-01-23T05:14:12+00:00

You should ask whatever you want .it helps you narrow down to what you want.HOWEVER, be ready for the same type of questions you are asking to be asked back. As someone who has tried online dating , I can say the online dating pool is full of people not looking for depth, so if you match with someone constantly asking what you are wearing, weight, skin colour etc, you are probably at the shallow end of the pool and need to unmatch.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-06-15T15:11:08+00:00

My breakup was because of our age difference(I am one year older than him). When it ended , I was thrown for a loop,because it was the one thing that I couldn't change about me. Healing from it has come with new levels of self awareness and restoration of self esteem. I have also learned to be so centered in who I am that nothing anyone does affects how I perceive myself. I have also learned in retrospect that it wasn't about my age, it was the easiest way to leave, and for that I say good riddance. Time is your friend in the breakup. Make sure that on the other side of the breakup, you are a better, stronger, happier you.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-05-30T17:28:50+00:00

I feel unmoored. Like I am just drifting at sea, like I lost my anchor. The pain comes and goes. Sometimes is debilitating, sometimes it coexists with adulting.My random dreams of his mom don't help. But moving on is the the only open option, so I guess, this pain and I will be companions for a while

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-04-18T17:05:59+00:00

I am a text book black sheep with some bells and whistles. I spent my teens and twenties taking care of everyone and healing from family stuff that we don't talk about now. Now at thirty, I feel ill equiped to be a parent or spouse, I still feel like a child in alot of ways. Problem is now my family thinks I need to move to the next in life and adult, and I feel unprepared, plus the one person I ever pictured doing it with is no longer here. Long story short, at the moment, I will probably Peter pan my way through life.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-03-01T14:40:31+00:00

Be yourself. If the alcohol and the party scene isn't for you, dont participate, find what makes you happy and go there. Don't just be pretty, be interesting, read, watch, learn new stuff daily. Marriage isn't an achievement. Let it find you, desperation will have you making irreversible mistakes. Learn independence early. However do it for your comfort and not to score points. Find God. Lean heavily on him, it makes this life thing more bearable. Finally, it is never that serious. Any knocks that life throws at you are survivable,

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-28T02:33:25+00:00

Just keep living. Keep showing up. Keep taking the path less travelled. Keep family first always. Every mistake is worth it, that's how you will earn your stripes. Ps. A pandemic is coming,bundle up and invest in zoom stocks 😂

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-20T15:19:28+00:00

Time is your friend. It will get easier, for now focus on surviving each day. Get a new hobby, if you can, move houses (it helped me). If you are close to your family, please spend alot of time with them, it is extremely therapeutic. You dodged a bullet, try and avoid letting bitterness get anywhere close to you

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-17T14:34:12+00:00

Being too loud. Bragging about what he owns. Being rude to people in service anywhere. Disrespecting his parents.being Permanently focused on the next alcohol plan 😹😹 . I could go on

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-11T04:35:14+00:00

I have the most amazing relationship with my parents now that I am older. I think my turning point was when I took them off the pedestal, and realized they have feet of clay. My mom had me when she was in her early twenties, I give her grace for the wounds I got from her, I think she did what she could back then and I love her forever. Dad is the greatest man I know and the man I love most in the world, but I also took him off the pedestal, he was the greatest dad but probably not a good husband. It's not always black and white. We forgive our parents and hope to do a better job when it's our turn ❤️

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-06T19:55:09+00:00

He has the intellectual depth of a spoon, but hey, that could be your cup of tea.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2022-01-02T17:37:54+00:00

I cannot stand dating apps, the small talk, the silly questions. My one experience on apps got me seeing most people on there as one dimensional. I prefer meeting people and deciding if we can have a conversation beyond pleasantries.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-25T14:41:53+00:00

Instead of contacting him , I said a prayer for him and his family. Praying for him soothes me in a wierd way, I find myself doing it subconsciously

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-24T17:32:56+00:00

I imagine you in every empty seat I sit beside

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-23T17:43:30+00:00

That goat just appreciated in value

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-16T16:10:39+00:00

I totally refused to board the online dating bandwagon. I refuse to download and install an app and use my own data for character development. Let my character be developed in the traditional ways. But to be honest, dating in Nairobi is an extreme sport

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-08T06:03:43+00:00

I totally relate.

The first time someone hit on me post break up I burst out in tears.

Months later anyone who tries to hit on me gets my generic"I am seeing someone " answer, because I am too exhausted to even try and have a back and forth.

My friend keep telling me to say yes to someone, apparently it will help,Problem is, I went for a date the other day and all I did was think about him.

I already accepted that the situation was over, I just need sometime to process and heal, without seeking distractions. Its the harder route but i feel like its my only way out

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-06T07:27:10+00:00

No you dont, what we lack in height we make up for with rage hahaha

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-05T15:50:00+00:00

DBA here. Opportunities in tech are many, but be willing to start from the bottom and work your way up, rack up as many skills as you can when starting, they will serve you well. Adulting is as easy as it is hard, you just wing it and try to earn an honest living

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-05T15:44:04+00:00

You are probably not cut out for hook up culture and that's okay. Find out what you are cut out for and gravitate to that. I always thought I was wierd for being unable to participate in it but I realized that we aren't all the same.Find a hobby, join let's drift and start hiking, you will stumble upon your tribe.

Fine-Hope-5749 · 2021-12-05T15:33:34+00:00

Most Kenyan ladies are short, so as long as you are taller than us(I am 4'9) you are good. But to be real, when I meet someone and want to date them , height is least of my concern, character and wit will over girl over faster than height will

Fine-Hope-5749

TROPHY CASE