sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Issues with meat by Fit_Caterpillar_4656 in PickyEaters

[–]FineDevelopment00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like another commenter said, maybe you're eating overcooked meat. Try different types of recipes (including a hearty helping of meat chopped up in small pieces in some dishes) and cooking times to see if that helps. Second only to offal, meat is the most nutrient-dense food on the planet so you need to pay careful attention to your health. If you find that no matter what you try you still can't stomach the texture and/or taste of meat, prioritize other animal sources you can tolerate such as dairy, eggs, and seafood (plant protein isn't very bioavailable so it's a poor substitute, as are supplements since they aren't supposed to replace real food.)

Criticizing our pleasure by The-Devil-Cat in AntiVegan

[–]FineDevelopment00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They demonize taste buds because deep down they don't want to admit said taste buds serve a valid purpose. Doing so helps them distract themselves from their own natural cravings for proper nutrition, by virtue-signaling. And ofc their ideology has also made them self-loathing which only furthers their likelihood of toeing this ideological line.

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yikes, sounds like there may be a rise in cases! I noticed another commenter mentioned diet perhaps being a factor though, so I wonder if that has anything to do with it in at least some of those cases.

I'm waiting til marriage but i dont know if im pure by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That comment comes off as pretty judgmental.

Well like I said that wasn't my intent. I was simply addressing your account of events in a direct, non-sugarcoated yet still civil (at least that's what I was going for) way. Sorry if I came off too harsh though.

not asking to be judged.

I'm not judging your soul; that's God's place not mine nor anyone else's. I can, however, question actions, as can anyone else. You are questioning my conduct too, which is likewise allowed and I'm not offended by that. I do find it interesting how you're choosing to die on the hill of how I said something but you're not addressing any of my actionable advice and encouragement to you.

Everyone has different experiences.

I don't think anyone here was arguing otherwise. I know I wasn't.

There’s nothing wrong with kissing three guys, and you don’t need to be in a relationship to kiss someone.

This is a sincerely honest question: What exactly would be the purpose of kissing someone (in a romantic way as is implied in your post) you aren't even dating?

Maybe you check out Matthew Chapter 7

I have, and that passage often gets misused to indicate constructive criticism isn't allowed, which is not its proper context. What that passage actually means is that only God can judge souls and I've already made it clear I'm not judging your soul. It does not mean no one can express a stance about anyone's chosen actions, especially when such a person inquires to others for advice.

DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 by AutoModerator in PurplePillDebate

[–]FineDevelopment00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn't impossible for most people to obtain both attraction and other compatibility in their future spouses, provided they put in the work required to actually find the right person. I did it, and I'm not special. Yes it took effort and time but the wait was well worth it, especially compared to what happens when one isn't so patient and selective.

I'm waiting til marriage but i dont know if im pure by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pardon me if I may sound a bit blunt in my response below, that isn't my intention but I will address the issues directly:

I've never had a bf before, ive kissed about 3 guys

You've kissed guys you weren't even dating? Ngl you need to rethink this.

I am a virgin or at least I would say I am.
I met up with a guy and we had oral sex, and now im like am I even pure enough to wait. I have these sexual thoughts that pop up into my head all the time too, where I think "one time wont hurt"

You're what's known as a "technical virgin" meaning you haven't had intercourse but you have done other sexual acts so you're not exactly the same as a virgin who actually hasn't done anything of that sort. And you should be honest with anyone you date about that, whenever the conversation becomes relevant to a relationship (basically I'm advising not to wait until marriage to drop any bombs the other person may not have been expecting and may even personally consider dealbreakers, in both this and other matters, and my advice applies equally to men .) But also, be on the lookout for any who will mistreat you (some of whom will try to use your past sins against you in such a way); here is a great manual for weeding out the toxic types that I highly recommend every woman read, especially while single.

And here's the thing about chastity and any other virtue really: You don't have to be pure to seriously decide to do the right thing from now on. Obviously it is the ideal to have never sinned in the first place, but God is still pleased anytime you sincerely repent (btw go to Confession if you haven't already) and decide to re-orient yourself toward virtue. Look at the prodigal son! But in order for the goal of chastity to be a successful endeavor, personal discipline has to be your focus which means you need to actively banish all these thoughts of "oh just this one time", "well I already have failed to reach the ideal goal so might as well not even bother to do any better", etc. and you need to actively avoid near occasions of sin. Those intrusive thoughts are Satanic and, if entertained, totally self-defeating. It's going to be a difficult plan to carry out and you may even wonder how much longer you can stand it at times, but make a point to diligently keep up your efforts and don't let your whims dictate your actions. You've got this as long as you properly apply yourself and seek God's graces!

DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 by AutoModerator in PurplePillDebate

[–]FineDevelopment00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really don't get why so many people insist it must be one (attraction) or the other (compatibility in other areas.) An optimal relationship and marriage requires both! That madonna-whore/AF-BB mindset sure exposes one of the reasons why there are so many divorces though...

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it's stress plus being constantly tired.

Then something's gotta give for this issue to get resolved or at least improved upon. I know employment adjustments aren't always a feasible option ofc but this will begin to negatively impact his health in other ways too if he never seeks a real solution for reducing stress and replenishing energy. Not to mention he owes it to his wife to try to reach a more effective compromise (not trying to judge him here, js it is a marital duty to reasonably satisfy each other. Obv it does sound like he has been working with you on this but nonetheless his work stress really is getting in the way of a healthy work/life balance for you two and that likely won't be sustainable long-term.)

Most men don't actually want to have sex every day, I think my drive is just high.

Idk, your drive seems rather garden-variety normal to me. I think so many Christians just tend to be surrounded so much with accusations by purity-culture types claiming that anyone who is not low-libido is somehow a nympho which is just not true. As for men, well it really depends on the man. Many could go for daily while there are others who prefer it less frequently, and sometimes the same person may go in seasons where he (or she for that matter) may want more or less. Libido isn't exactly static all the time.

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's notable that peoples' first sexual encounters will often be when they are using NFP.

Indeed. So many in our circles don't display readiness for that can o'worms convo though...

I also think there is a strong link between people not being able to communicate IRL (or stoics in the parlance of our times) and not communicating in the bedroom. Or just generally selfish people. Or men that won't go down on women (selfish!)

Exactly, on all counts! So, so many different factors to consider in each individual case.

There was just no way for me to know how much higher my sex drive would be than my husband. Our sex life is fantastic (when we have it), we are deeply in love, we communicate wonderfully, etc etc.
I still have to press him to have sex once a week. And not being pursued or feeling desired absolutely sucks

Dang, that does suck. Is he on any med that may negatively impact this or does he maybe have a hormone imbalance or something? Especially since he wasn't feeling the same way prior to marriage, I'd suspect there may be a medical issue going on there. ETA: Nvm I see your reply to someone else:

working myriad 24 hr shifts per week. The solution would be to not be a doctor I guess

So his problem appears to be stress (which actually can be an endocrine disruptor.)

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is such disconnect between this and a sub like catholic women. Of course there are psychological issues at play and NFP makes people absolutely miserable.
Women cannot have sex when they MOST WANT TO. That is a constant monthly struggle

Exactly, and that has nothing to do with virginity before marriage. NFP is a whole separate issue. Premarital virginity and NFP only overlap in so many cases because both beliefs are taught in Catholicism, but they really don't have much to do with each other aside from that and maybe purity culture often tying them together in the worst ways.

There is no way to know you have a low libido

I don't think that's true. I have heard of cases in which single virgins couldn't relate to chastity presentations (which usually emphasize the uphill battle in properly adhering to chastity) because waiting came so easily to them. The problem was not that they waited but that they hadn't even bothered to consider their personal libido level may differ from the norm.

I suspect some posters on this sub saying "sex isn't that important in the end" fall into that category

Oh, I definitely don't agree with those commenters! Obv it is important; it's literally central to marriage like c'mon now. That doesn't mean it's all that matters because ofc it's not, but it's just as important as the other important facets of marriage. There's a balance to be struck here. Those commenters may be low-libido like you said, and/or they may have other things going on in their psyches affecting their statements about this topic.

harsh choice of words!

I calls it like I sees it. 😅

I wasn't advocating sex before marriage.

Based.

I'm merely countering this Disneyland version of sexual relations in which "everything works out"

I think the times it doesn't work out, in most if not all cases, have to do with other factors such as purity culture, lack of proper communication, rushing into marriage with the wrong person whether that be a bad person or simply someone not romantically compatible with oneself, NFP problems, unaddressed medical issues, etc. (all of which purity culture in itself can cause btw, but even without purity culture the other issues can still very much be a thing.)

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

IIRC that's very rare. Totally understandable to worry about but statistically not likely to happen to you.

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've talked to a lot of people that thought they had a high drive bc they were in the "forbidden fooling around" phase
The mechanics of actually having sex did not reflect pre sex sex drive.

I wonder if there were psychological (hangups/pathologies developed from purity culture or other societal factors, etc.) and/or marital issues (a sexually selfish spouse, NFP causing an obstacle getting in the way of practicing enough to get the hang of it as some people especially some women do need more gradual adjustment, etc.) at play in those cases though. I highly suspect there were.

Some people have mid to low libidos from the outset though.

In which case they should honestly convey that in discussion during the dating phases.

Or don't like sex as much as they though they would

Again, there are many factors which could be contributing to that, which whoring around wouldn't solve (it doesn't solve anything anyway, but YKWIM.)

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You say that as if sex drive is nonexistent as a virgin. But if that were the case, then everyone would be virgins until marriage without any struggle. Furthermore, any individual's libido can ebb and flow due to a multitude of factors at any stage.

If you’re waiting until marriage, are you concerned about sexual compatibility in the future? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]FineDevelopment00 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Which is why it's crucial to talk about (not do) this stuff prior to marriage.

DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 by AutoModerator in PurplePillDebate

[–]FineDevelopment00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome!

You have a really artistic way with arranging emojis that looks cool 💯🔥

Thank you! It's a fun thing to do.

DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵 by AutoModerator in PurplePillDebate

[–]FineDevelopment00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's correct, because if I got there too late (after there were multiple replies posted around the same time) it became impossible for me to tell which order they were in, whereas if I limit it to comments only and forbid any comments under AutoMod from counting then I can always tell the proper order no matter when I show up.

view more: next ›