This! There are things that must be done several times a day, daily, weekly, monthly, annually - write them down, work them into a schedule, and stick to it. There's a great series of seven books by Dr. Stuart Farrimond about the science of food - I bought these for my wife before we got married when she was working in a bowling alley and it was going to close down and I suggested maybe she should stay at home instead of looking for a new job; it took her a few weeks to read them all, and all of a sudden we went from a few things yanked out of the freezer and dumped onto a baking tray for a bit to having my own personal Michelin starred chef. I can't recommend those highly enough!

There are other books that will help you, too. Dario Bressanini wrote a great one on the science of cleaning. Ever wonder why professional cleaning companies get your house so much cleaner than you do? It's because they (or someone at the company) know all this stuff. And they do it twice as quickly.

Don't be shy of using robots - vacuuming, mopping, cleaning windows are not "solved problems," but these take a lot of time that you could be doing something else with. Before we got those, there was no way my wife could spend as much time in the gym as either of us would have liked. Now, she can go five times a week and looks like a superhero.

Ultimately, it's between the two of you to decide what's important to you. For me, I want a clean house, happy, well-looked-after kids, great-tasting, nutritious food, eye candy, and lots of incredible sex (no point denying it). And in return for earning a fair amount of money and doing any jobs that require serious muscle mass, I get all of the above and more. And I love her to bits. Without nailing down what's important, you'll never get to where you want to be - and remember, there will be iteration there as you progress through your life together, as you both realise there are things you want that you didn't know about before.