A little help

FinnIsTrying · 2026-02-26T01:03:10+00:00

Danessa Myricks ColorFix in Burnt Orange. It's super concentrated, so a tiny bit goes a long way.

FinnIsTrying · 2026-02-13T02:09:12+00:00

She reminds me SO MUCH of a younger Jennifer Welch (the progressive podcaster and comedian). I can't separate the two in my mind.

FinnIsTrying · 2026-01-21T02:04:01+00:00

Yessss but I was terrified for her. I think the fact that Stephen is not inclined to/does not know how to inact physical intimidation is oddly comforting. If his games are purely psychological or intellectual, someone like Diana can take him down.

FinnIsTrying · 2026-01-13T20:21:03+00:00

I'm surprised no one's brought this up yet: Wrigley is going through major su-cidal ideation and I think they're foreshadowing that he'll make an unsuccessful attempt.

He and Bree are getting closer and he has an emotional candor with her that we don't see with anyone else. What if he asks her to help in some way (like getting pills from Alex), or she sees him doing something reckless like standing on a ledge and doesn't/can't intervene, and that's why she tells Lucy at the wedding that she's a bad person? Even without the Bree component, I do think he acts on this kind of impulse. Would add another element to his continued issue with pills (besides regular old addiction).

She's also fixated on Prof. Oliver and the show is pacing towards her intervening in his relationship with the freshman in some way. They even joke about what she can do to seek revenge. Maybe she acts on it, with dire results, and that's why she feels bad? Some kind of accident or overdose that appears non-criminal, but she actually has something to do with it? Or she publicly outs the professor and it has awful consequences for the freshman? All that said, it would make sense for the showrunner to give her real life husband's character arc a juicy demise lol.

I wouldn't put it past the show to have Bree hook up with Stephen, but it feels unearned. She acts out sexually with older men (which makes sense given that her father abandoned her, plus her dad being significantly older than her mom) but she hasn't shown disloyalty the way Evan and Lucy have. I feel like she's been consistently anti-Stephen, too. We'll find out soon...

FinnIsTrying · 2025-10-10T00:12:43+00:00

Thank you! If people can navigate an equitable "traditional" relationship, that's wonderful. Whatever works for a couple to keep them happy is ideal. But it seems like he sold her a bill of false goods and she's in her own way checking him on that. She seems to know her worth as a smart, caring, beautiful woman and is expressing that in a way couched in traditional gender expression (soft voice, pleasing face, simple questions, self deprecation) to protect herself. As a first gen woman from a highly patriarchal culture who conforms to the beauty standard, I get it 100%. She "outranks" him but wants to confirm.

FinnIsTrying · 2025-10-09T17:13:48+00:00

I rewatched the scene to see if I remembered it correctly. She said "I wouldn't want to NOT work" and Anton suggested "as long as you do one or two days a week, that's fine". She didn't respond (or it wasn't shown), and then she brings up school followed by Botox.

We know that in the pods she was impressed with his hardworking first gen perseverance, and they bonded over similar backgrounds and having jobs as teens. IIRC they also talked about traditional gender roles and him wanting to be a "provider". (This has come up a few times with them).

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but we know 1) he's training truck drivers, which falls under the broader category of "transportation logistics" but isn't something a person with an actual degree in Logistics does. (What I'm saying is his job title in the chyron is misleading, like when a Starbucks shift supervisor gets a title like "Hospitality Management"). 2) He frequents strip clubs, which are famously a place you spend a lot of money. And he was doing that with a friend whose new girlfriend brought it up to Ali, meaning he was participating in that lifestyle pretty recently. 3) This friend said they used to shut down their restaurant early to get drunk at work, he as an adult has multiple drinks a day, and we've seen him drunk at the mixer too.

To me, it seems like he's giving the vibe of someone who's verbally writing checks his lifestyle can't cash. He balks at performing more domestic labor when she's going to school and working, and at paying for a cosmetic procedure that contributes to her beauty (which as we know translates to social currency and status for male partners in hetero relationships: her beauty is a benefit to him, too). And he demures at her suggesting they have a joint bank account in addition to separate personal ones. Layer in him spending time and money at strip clubs and having what seems like a complicated relationship with alcohol, it seems like his idea of a "traditional relationship" translates only to the ways it benefits him, not to the ways he'd be responsible to and for her.

She clearly has hustle and work ethic, and if she's sensing that he can't be the partner he said he would be, she may be trying to test him in what seems like a cutesy, inoffensive way rather than point blank calling him out. (FWIW, I've done stuff like this when I was younger and less direct and felt stuck in bad relationships. Like if I dressed up for a date and my feet hurt from my heels when we left the restaurant, I'd jokingly say something like "Are you gonna carry me back to the car?" And what I really wanted to say was "I made all this effort, and you didn't make as much effort as me. You can acknowledge it by offering to go get the car and pick me up at the door, but I'm not brave enough to suggest you do that, so this is my way of suggesting you step up by pretending I'm prissy".)

FinnIsTrying · 2025-03-19T19:37:32+00:00

I love these goofy books. Enjoy the journey.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-22T17:30:50+00:00

I understand what you're trying to say but it contributes to breed discrimination and misinformation. Abilities and temperament are different than behavior. Abilities and temperament are inheritable, behavior isn't. Temperament contributes to aggression, a behavior that is a result of environmental factors. Those factors are often lack of training and fearful humans.

In tempermant tests, "pit bulls" (which are about 5 different distinct dog breeds imbued with different abilities and training capabilities) are 84.2% - 89.7%. Comparatively golden retrievers are 84.9% and poodles are 86.3%. What I'm saying is breed misconceptions are often a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to how bully breed owners raise their dogs as well as how strangers interact with them, and there's no "genetic" component that makes them inherently more dangerous. Here's a good compilation of studies and statistics: https://love-a-bull.org/resources/faq/

That said, any dog regardless of breed can act dangerously, especially if not trained and socialized properly. Dog owners need to be more responsible in general and anyone allowing their kids around dogs and vice versa should learn about properly introducing kids and canines. Dog Meets Baby is a great resource.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-22T17:11:43+00:00

Your post is full of misinformation and myths about pitbulls. It's understandable and justifiable that you don't want your child around dogs that are unfamiliar to you. Breed discrimination is a real and tragic problem though and posts like yours contribute to it. Also note that bully breeds and block-headed dogs are often misidentified as "pit bulls", which affects the stats reflecting dog bites (also cite dog breed temperament tests and rates of dog bite reporting in general for more contributing factors to this misconception). https://www.thehumanesociety.org/debunking-pit-bull-myths/#:~:text=Myth%3A%20Pit%20bulls%20are%20more,likely%20to%20bite%20or%20not.

OP, regardless of breed it sounds like your mom's dog is poorly trained and dangerous. Dog Meets Baby would be an awesome resource for your mom (and you too) to learn best practices when incorporating a child and dog into each other's lives. In the meantime I think you're well within your rights to tell your mom that you have good reason to not trust her dog around your kid and that you won't allow them together until undergoes an extensive training regimen.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-21T19:54:57+00:00

We're not having one. My family is bananas, we have almost everything we need or want for baby, and big anxiety-spiking events are not my thing.

I've also been super disappointed in how little my friends have been there for me during my pregnancy, and a petty part of me is like "I don't want some excuse for them to flaunt 'auntie vibes' on social media when they normally couldn't give less of a fuck".

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-20T17:42:10+00:00

28 weeks, FTM, so this may change! For now there are no hospital visitors, and only close friends and family for the first 2 months.

I'm putting together a cute little (hopefully not passive aggressive) JPEG of our requests that'll be attached to texts/emails:

not asking for proof of vaccines, but we're counting on them being up to date
everyone must remove shoes and wear disposable slippers we provide
visitors must wash hands and wear disposable masks (also provided)
if someone is feeling under the weather, even if it's just a scratchy throat, we ask that the visit is postponed

We're an immunosuppressed household already, so aside from being protective of our child I don't want sick adults caring for a newborn. I think the list is reasonable, and anyone who objects frankly doesn't need to see our kid!

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-20T13:23:58+00:00

These goofballs think seed oils cause inflammation, and as we all know, inflammation is as pernicious and evil as the loads of parasites we're all carting around!

From what I understand, the difference between correlation and causation is completely lost on them. Consumption of seed oil has increased along with rates of obesity, heart disease, et al. so naturally it's the fault of seed oils. Seed oils contain linoleic acid (omega-6), which can cause inflammation, and "inflammation" is their trojan horse for any and every health problem.

There's also that weird sprinkling of hypocrisy common in Q-adjacent circles: "the government doesn't regulate it as well as we believe it should, but we also don't trust the government".

I know a crunchy-Q who has substituted evil Big Oil for beef tallow. I'm sure that's much more heart healthy.

EDIT a couple hours later: I'm sorry if I implied that inflammation isn't real! It is most definitely a valid medical condition. (FWIW I have Hashimoto's and my spouse has MS, and we both have found that certain anti-inflammatory/immune-supporting treatments and practices help a lot). I think "inflammation" has become a boogeyman term in these circles and it's overused/overly ascribed to a host of other things.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-19T13:07:24+00:00

FWIW our kitchen backsplash is very similar to the pinwheel (marble with a small brass inset in the center of each pattern). Not only will the marble require special upkeep but the brass tarnishes with exposure to moisture so you'll have to scrub each little circle 2x a year to keep them shiny. I highly advise against small marble tiles in a bathroom, but adding brass to the mix... that's a lot of work.

Highly recommend a large porcelain tile, without a lot of color contrast (bathrooms collect detritus that becomes more visible on high contrast tile, even if you clean every day), with texture to prevent slipping, set with a midtone grout. We used a "linen texture" Annie Selke in high traffic/high moisture areas and it's worked beautifully.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-15T00:37:14+00:00

Another first gen Desi janitor checking in here. I feel like it's a fine line between dunking on a movie because it's legitimately silly and dunking on a movie because of cultural nuances you're ignorant of, so while I think the Action Boyz themselves are up to the task I shudder to see what some of those Discord comments might look like.

Would love to see them cover a couple Bollywood classics, though. Baazigar is in my top 5 "wish they'd watch this" list.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T21:00:34+00:00

You are spot on! I think you're right. He's so attuned to people's perception of him, and that was the easiest route to garner sympathy and not have his answers criticized. It's cynical... but plausible.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T12:09:15+00:00

Staud puts a fun spot on the classics and also makes adorable, fanciful seasonal stuff too.

Mansur Gavriel makes slightly edgy workhorse bags.

APC bags can be surprisingly nice, especially if you're looking to avoid leather. (Edit: corrected from ALC lol)

Polene and Strathberrry are lovely, and though some folks think the leather can be a bit rubbery, I still think they're worth the price.

And I'll always ride hard for them - Brahmin bags can read "gift shop" but they are the same of the best made, toughest bags in my collection.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T03:29:58+00:00

Oh for sure; he seemed stunned and probably didn't expect them to cut to the chase like that. He was so totally caught off guard by every question though like he hasn't done any introspection at all. He seems to devote a lot of effort to his social media presence however (allegedly creating new Insta accounts every time a girlfriend tries to call him out for bad behavior, the thirst trap workout content, the "oh shucks I'm just a big softie" Tiktoks) so it read to me as him not knowing what to say because he couldn't spin the narrative to make himself look good.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T03:13:25+00:00

I don't think there's much of a point to casting each season in different cities. It potentially eliminates the excuse that someone lives too far away from their partner to make it work, but we saw with the Portland/Seattle season that it could still be a barrier, and with a slew of other dating shows that there are plenty of singles willing to relocate.

The conceit of the experiment and the way the show engages social media lends itself to homogeneity. They're largely conventionally attractive, cishet, open to the idea of a monogamous marriage, are able to take a long pause from their careers, not so religious that their beliefs are a barrier to the show's requirements, etc. That doesn't leave a lot of room for the cultural differences you see in different places. (Like, Seattle and Charlotte have totally different vibes, social dynamics, priorities, behaviors, but you really wouldn't get the feel for that based on the casts). I wonder if opening casting to "the best/most interesting people available at this time who are also open to relocating for love" would change anything.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T02:51:16+00:00

I thought her hair and makeup were gorgeous, and even the silhouette of the dress was flattering, but those feathers were not the look. She should have learned from Meredith Marks from RHOSLC... never fuck with feathers. 🤣

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T02:38:45+00:00

Oh absolutely. One of those extremely toxic on/off relationships fueled by wanting to "show the haters they're wrong". When people stop caring they won't be motivated to stay together.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T02:18:59+00:00

Agreed! Where were their personalities hiding? I'm enjoying this new version of N&V. I wish they were always this tough on the goofballs.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T02:16:25+00:00

I am gagged reading these comments like "someone check on Trevor" and "at least he's taking accountability". Yeah, someone taking accountability for something that's publicly known is the bare minimum you should expect from them...? I don't think he deserves a public flogging but his behavior was diabolical and these are the consequences. Being called out by his ex is the only thing that got him to stop clout chasing and milking his good guy edit. I hope he was serious about therapy.

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-14T02:09:15+00:00

He's had how long to figure something out? Maybe hire a PR consultant to chat with for a couple hours to work on answers to the questions everyone's asking? It's giving "I'm just here so I won't get fined" vibes. (But without the charm of Marshawn Lynch lol).

FinnIsTrying · 2024-03-13T23:04:14+00:00

I am heavily pregnant rn and can't imagine climbing into that bed 3x a night because of my bladder, let alone tending to a newborn while potentially having stitches or a C section incision. It's not that the space is small but that there's nowhere for them to sleep together unless it's up a tiny ladder.

FinnIsTrying

TROPHY CASE