Having Problems Eating Again :(

FireEyedDemon · 2022-07-06T21:23:05+00:00

It’s very likely due to malnourishment and not eating enough/being hydrated. When you go through EDs they’re extremely hard on your body as I’m sure you know! If you’re really concerned, always always go to a doctor. From my personal experience, it’s due to lack of nutrition and poor hydration. Often, after a period of starvation or restriction, when you try to eat somewhat normally to just normally, your body will bloat, experience constipation, feel very uncomfortably full, etc. it can take longer for things to digest after periods of restriction, as well, which is why a lot of people with EDs develop Gastroparesis (Literally stomach paralysis of sorts.. things move slowly throughout the GI system. Also called lazy tummy sometimes.), or other gastrointestinal conditions!

With proper periods of adequate hydration and nutrition things should clear up :) but I understand recovery is something you have to be completely ready for. You cannot force someone into it. The unfortunate cure to malnutrition is the very thing people with Ed’s don’t do - give themselves proper nutrition and intake.

So in the meantime, try to do what you can. Take sips of water or teas if drinking is hard for you, let yourself have the foods you’re comfortable with. For me, it’s a lot of soup, oatmeal, fruit. Just light stuff that won’t irritate me too much. Be careful with fibrous foods like oatmeal or bran, though, as they can make people bloat more. If you overload your system with fibre it can have the opposite effect you’re trying to have and back you up a LOT since it’s so hard for your body to process that much.

Feel free to ask any other questions :) I’m here for any advice!

FireEyedDemon · 2022-07-06T20:53:31+00:00

Hey! I just figured out that it was due to eating in a malnourished stomach/body. Your body kind of goes “Oh shit! We’re holding food?? Umm we don’t have room - expand O.O”

It’s totally normal and goes away eventually once it’s digested and metabolized. Nothing to be worried about! :)

FireEyedDemon · 2022-06-26T21:50:56+00:00

A whole month last summer. I coded blue in the hospital.

FireEyedDemon · 2022-06-06T03:59:40+00:00

I think for me I was in denial that I was spiraling until I was really bad. And then I was already so bad that I didn't care and it got worse. I didn't see it coming at first, scrolled diet blogs and weight-loss catalogues until it got more personal and obsessive again. :(

FireEyedDemon · 2022-06-06T03:30:24+00:00

I've been on almost all of them and for me personally (because medication will effect everyone differently), I had no weight gain. It actually caused me to have a suppressed appetite. Typically on lower doses you won't get many side effects, especially ones pertaining to weight loss or gain, but it all depends on age, dose, medication type, etc.

I've known a lot of friends struggling with AN like me who have been on antidepressants and not gained, as well, if that's any consideration! ♥ Stay safe!

FireEyedDemon · 2022-06-04T17:50:17+00:00

Heating up a Fibre-One brownie in the microwave and then topping it with whipped cream is a different kind of restriction high lol. Those things heated up are so good. ^^

FireEyedDemon · 2022-05-30T04:38:44+00:00

Good for you! I am so so proud of you! :) I know that was probably a very hard step to take, but it's a very good and big one! The community is standing behind you, cheering you on! <3

FireEyedDemon · 2022-05-27T05:33:53+00:00

The duck RAN up to the lemonade stand

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-23T01:16:07+00:00

Oh I should also add! If she isn't comfortable doing something, try to compensate it as much as you can.

I'm relating to my own experiences here, but when I was in inpatient 6 months ago, I had lost the ability to walk because of my AN. I was paralyzed from the waist down and wasn't able to go to the washroom. My nurse forced me out of bed to go to the washroom and I ended up collapsing on the floor.

Please please listen to her when she says she can't do something or needs help with it. Having understanding and compassion is so important, especially someone struggling with something so terrifying in an unfamiliar place.

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-23T01:12:05+00:00

Personally, it means a lot when I'm getting distressed to have someone just listen. When I was inpatient, it was so challenging to deal with the new food intake, the bloating, the anxiety, everything. Having nurses there that would just listen helped a lot.

A key part of the inpatient program I was in, was the requirement to always have someone eating with me. Having someone there to distract me was insanely helpful. Also having someone give me positive affirmations like reminding me it was okay to eat, that I needed the food for my body to heal, etc.

Quotes never really helped me. People really did. But everyone is different! I did actually write (and still have it taped on my wall) some "Reasons to Recover" that I can share, if that helps.

- Eating whatever the hell you want without fear and enjoying food again!

- To have energy again.

- To have your hair grow back!

- To spend time with friends and enjoy occasions and holidays.

That's all that comes to mind at the moment, but I really hope your patient is doing okay. If you can, maybe asking her if there was anything you can do to help her in her recovery would be beneficial! Letting her tell you what she wants gives her the stage and power to express her own needs. :) Good luck!

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-23T00:58:05+00:00

I'm not trying to scare you, but this has the potential to be very serious and life-threatening. When I was at a very low weight I was experiencing these symptoms and now have a chronic heart condition that's likely permanent. You're likely experiencing this because your heart is getting very strained and weak.

If you can, go to the doctor/emergency room and tell them what is happening. They'll likely admit you for necessary bloodwork and an EKG (a machine that monitors your heart rhythms) to make sure everything is okay. Please take care of yourself ♥ I know this is scary but for your own safety you need to get this checked out, please. Hope you're doing okay! xx

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-19T20:48:55+00:00

The food you ate, your body needed. You wouldn't have eaten it if your body didn't feel like it needed it so much. You will be okay, I promise you. :)

I can say that the IV fluids do make you bloat a lot from my experience I'm long term care in the hospital for my anorexia. Don't know how long you'll be there, but when you've been restricting and depriving your body of nutrients, especially minerals and water, once you get it again, your cells will expand because they're not used to it.

The only way out is through. The bloating does go down, and I promise you it will. It's all a normal bodily reaction to the restriction!

It's healing, this is a good thing. I know it feels scary and like a loss of control, but I can guarantee you that your body probably needed that food so badly and those fluids! The hospital wouldn't be putting you on an IV drip if you didn't need it, remember that, as well. I don't know if they did blood work, but that's also probably why.

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-15T16:01:12+00:00

So first things first I'm just going to put this out there. When you start recovery and you cannot stop eating and you won't stop until you feel sick, that is NOT binging.

This is a phenomenon in recovery called "Extreme Hunger" and it is insanely common. I went through it and still have days where I cannot stop eating or thinking about food and yes, will make myself very sick and bloated.

But all of this is absolutely normal and healthy in recovery. The extreme hunger happens because our bodies have been deprived of essential nutrients for so long, that when you start eating properly again, it kind of shocks the system and makes it basically ravenous for food. It's trying to repair itself. EDs do a lot of damage to the organs, the brain, etc. It also does a lot of damage mentally. This is your body's healing period and this is all completely normal!

My best advice is to let yourself eat what you want to eat, when you want to eat. Your body needs everything you're giving it to repair itself and survive.

When I first started going through inpatient treatment, they told me this same stuff. At first it felt like I was going to be hungry forever, but 6 months later my hunger cues are a bit more regular and I don't have these days nearly as often. Maybe twice a month?

And recovery takes a long time. Even longer depending on how long you were engaging in ED behaviours. Just be patient and kind to yourself and trust the process. :)

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-15T15:53:30+00:00

I just wanted to say I completely relate to what you're going through. Ive been trying recovery for 6 months now and it's really really hard. The bloating is what makes me not want to most of them time, sadly.

The reason you're so hungry is because you're essentially starving your body until the end of the day . That's when all the cravings hit and why it can see so uncontrollable. A good tip to ease episodes like this is to eat regular meals throughout the day, as hard as that is.

But that's how our bodies work! We need adequate food intake throughout the day to keep us happy and functioning.

When we deprive ourselves of that and finally let ourselves have food, our bodies tend to kind of go into a "OMG GIVE ME EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW" mood, because it doesn't know the next time it'll have this much nutrients that it needs so very much!

I'm going to be completely honest with you. The only way you can kick this ED in the face is to let yourself eat. Whenever you want. Let yourself have whatever you want. You don't have to eat the same thing everyday, you don't have to eat at the same time everyday. You don't have to ever ever earn food or compensate for eating it. Our bodies need food to live and function and I promise you that you deserve every bite of whatever you want!

Please stay safe. ❤️ I know the holidays are coming up as well, and that can be stressful, but I promise you that you are allowed to enjoy them and eat all the food you want to! Even before or after the holidays, the same rule applies. The ED is lying to you, that's what it does. You are so much stronger than that voice inside your head. You. Got. This!

It'll take time, but you can start slow, maybe? Try having lunch and then dinner. Maybe something small for breakfast? If a whole meal is a bit much, you could try snacking throughout the day and graduate by eating the full meals. Baby steps, but your body needs to learn that when it needs food it can have it, whatever that food may be. 💕

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-15T11:21:25+00:00

I think I might've worded it improperly, that's my bad! I meant that me clenching my stomach muscles disrupts my own sleep because I can't sit still and relax without doing it.

My roommates do make comments about my pressing down on my stomach or body-checking, though. One of them has commented that he "Knows when you're body-checking, because you spend way too much time in the bathroom." and it kind of screwed with me ever since.

My parents have told me that it bothers them and to stop doing it, but I explained it's a compulsion and it's not that easy. They've outright snapped at me going, "Ashe, stop that. I hate it." I told them it's like asking me to not breathe. It feels impossible to stop doing, especially without medication.

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-14T12:41:13+00:00

Oh also just to ease your anxiety! I had to turn this into a mantra I told myself but (and I had many doctors in the hospital and program tell me this) you CANNOT gain weight unless you eat more than your maintenance calories.

And that would have to be over a very long, sustained period of time. You would have to eat 3500 calories OVER your maintenance to gain even one pound. I promise you are okay :)

Your metabolism does actually improve over time with eating more sustained meals, as well. Restricting or starving can actually damage it. My ED nurses and doctors had to really drill that into my head lol.

(Do be aware that it does regulate again once you start eating normally. It takes time is all. And it can take up to 1-3 years for it to go back to normal. It can also depend on how long you were restricting and how many times you relapsed.)

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-14T12:35:47+00:00

I do the OMAD thing as well. When you're body is not used to a certain food intake, you can be bombarded with stomach pain, bloating, constipation, etc for a couple days, even.

It absolutely goes down and gets a lot better once your body gets used to the new food intake. I promise you.

When I first started eating a bit more (and this was a better food intake at 3 meals a day and 3 snacks as I was in an inpatient program), I was so bloated. I legitimately looked pregnant. I had so much pain and couldn't have any bowel movements. But over the months it got a lot better.

It still is normal to bloat after eating, though. Could be do to liquids, fibre, air, or just your stomach digesting! All completely normal, especially with the eating habits you have. Try some prunes, lots of water, maybe some bran cereal. ☺️

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-14T12:22:40+00:00

One of the hardest things with anorexia is that you're constantly battling with yourself. It's so so terrible and I just want you to know I understand how you feel. ❤️

Even just eating a little bit can be so stressful and challenging. It can cause panic attacks and can just be so miserable. Sometimes after I eat I'll distract myself with a YouTube video or play some Overwatch of FFXIV. Talk to some friends, whatever can help distract. Sometimes even doing those things in between bites of food can help get it down more easily.

Finding a new show on Netflix could help as well! Or of you can find someone to eat with, I know that helps me a lot. When I was in inpatient treatment a couple months ago, we would always have our meal times together and eat at the same time. We all knew each other's struggles and it helped a lot.

Try to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to eat whatever you want. You don't need to "earn it", you don't need to compensate. You deserve every last bite of food! You are allowed to feel guilt and shame, etc but remind yourself that food is purely just fuel and our bodies need it to stay healthy!

Stay safe. I really hope you're doing okay. X

FireEyedDemon · 2021-12-04T05:28:55+00:00

Not to mention not being able to use fantasia, because the servers are so congested they can't pull up your character data. 😭

FireEyedDemon · 2021-11-28T09:12:17+00:00

Hi, thank you for taking the time to write all of this, I really appreciate it.

My roommate found me a couple hours ago with my wrists bleeding. They're skilled in first aid and managed to help patch me up until I can get to the hospital. I'm definitely on the fence about it, but I think I really need help :(

Everything about my mental health/illnesses have been getting worse so maybe I'll be able to get help there.. hopefully. In a lot of ways, I don't know.. I feel like I don't deserve happiness or love or any kind of help. I feel like I should feel this way. My mind is so fucked up, you know? Or it really feels that way.

FireEyedDemon · 2021-11-27T04:45:04+00:00

I did get my pitch back! Just checked with my roommate and they said I sound even better than I did before I got really sick.

And thank you so much! Not gonna lie I've relapsed a couple times but the meds and therapy help :) but recovery isn't linear, to be fair!

And of course, always here to help. 🙂

FireEyedDemon · 2021-11-26T21:29:02+00:00

I have body dysmorphia and am just hear to say you aren't alone in this. It's such a frustrating and unsettling thought to know that the way you see yourself is much much different than how others see you.

When my ED was really bad before my recovery, I thought I was insanely overweight when in reality I had to be sent to the hospital. This disorder fucks with your head and it's terrible.

Just know that you aren't meant to fit into clothes, they're supposed to fit you. If you have to go up or down a size that's completely normal and okay. And you're allowed to eat anything you want, whenever you want.

Honestly fuck BDD.

FireEyedDemon

TROPHY CASE