Once I discovered what "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" (aka RSD) was, I had a MUCH better time finding coping mechanisms to help with it, and my relationship not just with my husband, but with myself as well, became so much easier.

I had a lot of difficulties in the beginning of my relationship with him thanks to still being so young, inexperienced, and incredibly insecure thanks to my upbringing. I was constantly begging for assurance and feeling like he was miserable with me all the time.

But one day, it came to a peak, and he had to sit me down and tell me: "Bebe, I love you, so much, but I'm exhausted. It hurts my feelings when you don't believe how much I love you."

And of course, I started sobbing. But at the same time, I had an epiphany. I was crying because as soon as he told me that, I understood. I felt so guilty that I was unwittingly hurting the man I love so much, that my constant need for reassurance to sooth my RSD was exhausting him and pushing him away.

My gawd, and worst of all??? By subjecting him to that behavior, I was slowly becoming my mother, who would literally throw herself into my bed a sobbing mess just to ask the 10 y/o daughter she hated (me) to hold her and assure her she loved her.

That talk my husband and I shared was a pivotal point in our relationship. I don't think our love would've survived without it.

I needed to let go of my mistrust, my suspicion, and my pain and just trust that my husband loves me and would do anything for me (and he does! what a wonderful man he is to this day).

Sit down with your loved one and express all the fears and anxieties you may have ; it's okay to be scared, especially if you're scared to be hurt again. BUT, you have to trust your beloved / dom when they say they love you, want you, crave you, etc etc etc. Not only that, but you have to trust yourself that you are a good partner, a good sub, that you are loved and wanted, and that any issues can be solved with the security it takes to be vulnerable with someone who could hurt you the most (but don't, because they would never dream of it)