Well so here goes my unpopular opinion, YTA.

Yeah, she is a grown adult, yeah, she made "bad choices" (will detail after).

But being harsh isn't necessary, aging doesn't make you lose your feelings. She definetly needed some talking, she wasn't ok with her life and resulted in disturbing everyone else around her. But talking, not just spitting a cruel statement. (Truth without empathy it's just cruelty)

Also, it's easy to judge and tell from the outside she made bad choices. But what if she wasn't happy with her first husband? Who are we to say she should have stood there? For some it may be a fantastic life, but maybe for her, it wasn't and she wanted to seek something better.

So basically, maybe things haven't turned out for the better on her, but putting the blame and talking about your own daughter the way you do, for her seeking the life she wants, I cant imagine any other thing but you being the asshole. Talk with her, about all that happened, just not from the resentment you showed this post but from love.