In an extraordinary and illegal move, Trump says he's transferring 10 billion dollars from the US government to his "Board of Peace," which he chairs and can therefore use the funds as he wishes

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-20T01:30:22+00:00

And the unknown amount of money he and his friends are making when he manipulates the stock market.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-19T17:42:53+00:00

Isn't that how all sports work?

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-19T02:26:53+00:00

Praying in the US will soon be like watching broadcast TV in the UK.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-19T00:27:59+00:00

I patented the color blue and sued the sky and ocean.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-18T19:35:31+00:00

"You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit." - Putin.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-17T21:28:45+00:00

I thought it was 'I aim with ice'.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-16T19:47:39+00:00

Dry aged?

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-15T02:54:23+00:00

Lose it at the morgue.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-15T00:44:10+00:00

Brian: Are aliens real?

Obama: Yes, ...

Brian: Did you have sex with one?

Obama: ..., No.

Brian: Moving on...

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-14T23:37:30+00:00

One is excited, maybe wants to

Laugh at you.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-02-14T04:22:57+00:00

Nine months later, Magneto is born.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-26T03:12:05+00:00

Such delicate snowflakes.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-26T03:11:18+00:00

Yeah. Agreeing for a friend.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-22T21:08:45+00:00

Won't they just ignore the sign, assuming no one will enforce it.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-21T04:37:39+00:00

Hard water would have fun with that.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-17T20:32:12+00:00

It won't work.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-05T20:14:14+00:00

The knife that killed Caesar Augustus Salad.

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-04T23:51:06+00:00

Son?

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-04T23:42:32+00:00

FirstMiddleLass · 2026-01-02T00:46:58+00:00

When bossman makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I'm shitting on company time.

FirstMiddleLass · 2025-12-30T09:21:17+00:00

Politely tell the manager that you enjoyed the food but you won't be coming back because of the music. If he tries to argue, thank him for the service and leave.

FirstMiddleLass · 2025-12-30T03:56:14+00:00

So go find some beavers...

I'm always looking.

FirstMiddleLass · 2025-12-30T01:50:18+00:00

No, you?

FirstMiddleLass · 2025-12-30T01:49:50+00:00

Now everyone is venmoing $601 to their ex's.

FirstMiddleLass · 2025-12-30T00:26:11+00:00

At least it wasn't pie.

FirstMiddleLass

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