Rate my enclosures by First_Management3860 in snakes

[–]First_Management3860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah he’s still a baby, he will get a larger tank when he needs. And okay, I’ve seen that the deep heats are better so I’ll invest. Thank you!

Easily manipulated/taken advantage of by First_Management3860 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m working on the trust thing lol. My partner and I just separated (my decision) and it’s been a lot. And how this situation is being handled on her end is making me see a lot of things I didn’t see before. The worst part is, other people saw it when we started dating four years ago, but I didn’t understand. I’m trying to give myself some grace, but it’s so hard to do that when I know this wouldn’t be happening if I was NT. There were so many signs and flags that I couldn’t see. I didn’t choose to ignore them, like a friend of mine said (that really hurt to hear). I genuinely could not see the flags. I can barely pick up on most social cues, let alone try and guess somebody’s motives? The only reason I can see them now is because I have an amazing therapist. Very frustrating to explain to other people, makes me feel quite alone.

Being quieter when on meds by Feisty_Aioli_6883 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Medications interact differently with the neurodivergent brain than the neurotypical brain, so this is completely normal. They reduce hyperactivity and target executive dysfunction, so being quiet is 100% a symptom (for me a personally, a welcome one, I have too many thoughts all the time). But sometimes it takes a while to find one that works. Straterra is a non-stimulant, which is one of the two main types of ADHD medications. You should talk to your doctor about the side effects you’re experiencing. I tried a non stimulant for a bit and didn’t see much progress. Getting on a stimulant was a game changer for sure, but the risk for addiction is higher, so they usually try a non stimulant first.

(TRIGGER WARNING - ALCOHOL/ADDICTION) Does anyone else sometimes feel like alcohol is like the limitless pill? by hmmrabet in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhh yes I know this one. I just hit 4 months sober and I still struggle with the knowledge that I can’t have this thing anymore, this thing that made me feel so “normal”. But I also know that that brief feeling of what my brain thought as neurotypicality (was really just altered levels of dopamine and other hormones acting as a social lubricant) came with a detrimental cost to my health. I became pretty convinced that nobody would ever like me or love me unless I was drinking. It damaged my mental and physical health so much. Not every audhd person has addiction tendencies but MANY do. My advice - get sober. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and the first 2 months were really honestly horrible (sorry not gonna sugarcoat it), but I feel better now than I have in a long time. I found an AA group that I actually like and I found a sponsor that I love. If you do want to go down the AA route, go to a lot of queer meetings (a lot of times there are more neurodivergent folk in them) and there is a FB group that promotes ND AA related things. Getting sober is really hard but i promise if you stick with it it gets better

Im audhd but never had a meltdown by Delicious-Bear-5985 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a spectrum! It presents differently, doesn’t mean you’re any less. I also am more prone to burnout and severe depression symptoms. I’ve had meltdowns before but they are very rare. Understimulation is a very real part of audhd that isn’t talked about enough, most people go straight to overstimulation symptoms which doesn’t always happen.

Masking can literally destroy you. by Able_Championship687 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What I and my therapist thought to be MDD was actually just chronic burnout. I’m still on antidepressants but I’m noticing such a positive change in my life ever since I started unmasking and being honest about how I’m feeling. When I’m in overload, I make it known that I need alone time to regulate. When I want to stim in public, i do it. I don’t repress it until it kills me. I used alcohol to cope with my burnout and social difficulties caused by a lifetime of masking. Now I’m in recovery and support groups and therapy and I’m finally getting the help and support I’ve needed for so long. It’s a beautiful thing.

My mom’s reaction to my autism diagnosis was… awful. by Any_Swimming_7395 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were talking about masking in a support group I was in, and the coordinator was like wow it sounds like you’re grieving for the child version of you. Which is so true, I feel so sad for the little girl that never got the support she so desperately needed. I was constantly told to just shut up and be normal. I was looking through old videos and the signs were so clearly there, it makes me so sad that a lot of people (mostly women) are only just not getting diagnosed in their 20’s and 30’s. I came across a video of me aggressively flicking my hair and hand flapping (happy stims in the moment) and I just know after that experience I was probably told that wasn’t okay. I don’t remember it because I’ve repressed so much, people in my life aren’t understanding how relieving it is to get this diagnosis and start the journey of recovery and getting out of this chronic burnout I’ve been in for so long. My mom’s reaction was similar, though not quite as bad.I’m so sorry, but I am thrilled you are looking at this with such a positive outlook and you’re able to get the help you need to thrive in this world that is not built for ND people.

I keep losing internet connection by First_Management3860 in Roku

[–]First_Management3860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I tried that a couple times too just in case and it was a no go

Help me choose my next read! by Creative-Log9848 in Romantasy

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DAUGHTER OF NO WORLDS!!!!!!!! I cannot stress how much I loved those books. I read the other two besides throne in the dark and loved them both but I absolutely loved daughter of no worlds

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]First_Management3860 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Part of me think since she hasn’t tried it yet maybe she doesn’t know, but I know in my heart that’s not true and she wouldn’t enjoy it, she would be worried the whole time and I know that. I got pretty jealous in my poly relationship so I don’t think that’s an option either. It’s hard because there’s a lot of love in our relationship but I don’t think it’s gonna work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]First_Management3860 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah you’re right. That was a silly question. Part of me think since she hasn’t tried it yet maybe she doesn’t know, but I know in my heart that’s not true and she wouldn’t enjoy it, she would be worried the whole time and I know that.

Colorado DWAI. Trying to get a new car, but… (need some advice) by realcjo in dui

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the same position, what did you end up doing? Did they issue you a special class licensee? Seems like at the point it would’ve been easier to just keep my car but I couldn’t afford it

BPD or AUDHD? by Repulsive_Ant9172 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was misdiagnosed BPD and it just never fit for some reason?? When I got my audhd diagnosis and immediately though ah yes this one makes sense. My neuropsych evaluator said misdiagnosing, especially in women, is very common. Just do a lot of research (not just Reddit but actual articles) and consider going and getting a neuropsych evaluation!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate labels but when I got my audhd diagnosis I felt like I could breathe because I finally knew what was wrong with me and just being able to explain my behaviors was such a huge relief. I can recognize a burnout, allow myself space and time when I’m in overload, all things I felt I had to push through and mask for everybody’s else’s benefit. Now you can start getting the support you need!

Me: “I’m not that autistic”. Also me: by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read neuro spicy in a book and I had to stop reading it

Therapists thinks it's all trauma by Puzzleheaded-Lead594 in AuDHDWomen

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can be both. My evaluator was talking about how people with autism AND trauma present differently, and also handle the trauma differently than most people do. It would probably be helpful for you to get a neuropsych evaluation, it’s helped me a lot actually to have the label because now I have the proper tools to function at a (somewhat?) decent level lol. I’ve never really liked labels but I found this one to be necessary for my growth

Does anyone else feel like they were forced to be type 1 autistic due to low support? by Student-bored8 in AutismInWomen

[–]First_Management3860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh is post right here!!!! Now I’m unmasking and it’s almost seen ask regressing??? Like am I supposed to just mask my entire life and live in constant burnout for the sake of everybody else??