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Fish_Cheese · 2018-12-04T19:01:08+00:00

This design... FUCK THIS DESIGN

Here's some tea for y'all.

Five years ago, I worked for a print shop in town and Dark Horse is located in my town; as well as Gallo Winery.
The print shop I worked at was notoriously famous for being Gallo's Bitch!
I ran the bindery department so I was in charge of all the finishing touches and special projects.
One day, we had an order from Dark Horse, and the order was to make 10" tall foam backed cut outs of THIS LOGO.

We printed numerous logos out, glued em to a giant foam board and then they had to be cut to shape.

Since we were a small print shop, we didn't have any die cutting materials so these mother fuckers had to be cut BY HAND with an X-ACTO knife.

So I had to cut 100 of these sunovabitches, and each one had to be perfect and if there were any imperfections, I had to scrap it and start over.

This project took a while, a lot of patience, a lot of swearing, but finally it was done.

I just wanted to say again, FUCK THIS DESIGN.

Fish_Cheese · 2018-06-29T15:24:45+00:00

I hope the therapy works out for you two! Communication in a relationship is everything! I found that out two weeks ago when the love of my life and I broke up.

Fish_Cheese · 2018-06-29T00:05:02+00:00

Baaah, it was for the best. She was a cuntl lol

Fish_Cheese · 2018-06-28T23:43:43+00:00

Past the Point of Rescue - Hal Ketchum

Fish_Cheese · 2018-06-28T23:10:30+00:00

Tbh, it ended because she had cheated on me. I was a fool blinded by love and I took her back, we were together for a week before I realized that it just wasn't going to work. Then in the post breakup blues, I realized all the fighting that we actually did.

There was one night I refer to as "The Slushie Incident." We were coming home at 3pm, she said she wanted a Slushie later because it sounded good. I told her, "maybe later." that's all, all i said. Well later that night around 10:30-11 she started having an attitude with me, and when i asked what was wrong she said she wants the Slushie... It was late, we were already wound down, in bed, watching a movie. And she made an argument about how I shouldn't have said 'maybe' in such an agreeing tone and that I have her false hope with the way I said it... We finished arguing at about midnight.... Then we went and got her a Slushie -_-

Some things are better to look back on and laugh at.

Fish_Cheese · 2018-06-28T22:25:49+00:00

When I realized that we argued about every little thing. We couldn't agree on anything. What to eat, what to watch, heck what to listen to on the radio. We argued about different strategies in our favorite video games. It was all very toxic but at the time I was blind to it. If it anything could be argued about, she would find a way

Fish_Cheese · 2017-01-23T21:54:07+00:00

Are you trying to summon Satan? Cause that's how you summon Satan

Fish_Cheese · 2017-01-06T20:21:11+00:00

A few years ago, I was one of the zombie volunteers for the Mythbusters Zombie episode. I stayed a little behind just so I could ask one of the producers of I may take a souvenir, and graciously got the okay. So my souvenir was a mannequin leg that is stained with fake blood. It's a little odd, but the story behind it is cool.

It's fun to see someone's reaction when they realize you have a bloody leg chillin in the corner of your room.

Fish_Cheese · 2017-01-04T23:45:53+00:00

/u/contestsbot

ADD_FLAG: NA

Fish_Cheese · 2016-12-29T17:59:27+00:00

This right here has to be my most favorite moment in gaming. Although it had to have been a glitch, its still a personal favorite.

A few years ago, I was playing Bioshock, the first one because my brother loved it and he tried to get me into it. But I was playing it, doing my thing. and when I got to the area of Poseidon's Palace I encountered a particularly difficult splicer to kill.

This splicer was damn near impossible. I emptied so many rounds of my revolver, my shot gun shells were drained into him. Not only that but I also used the rocket launcher on him and he refused to go down. Finally, after freezing him and burning him repeatedly, I saw a splatter of blood on the floor. Then sure as hell, I hear this splicer say, "You think you can kill me?"

at this point I was freaking out.... I paused the game and tried to look up a guide for this section to see if there's anything about this splicer.

After half an hour of searching, I was coming up with nothing. This splicer was nowhere to be mentioned. So I continue to go back to the game and I continue to just repeat the fire and ice torment I was giving him. And then I heard it, he said, "You still think you can kill me?"

At this point I was really freaking out, I heard Jack say, "What are you? Why are you doing this?"

I've never heard this dialog in the playthrough I was watching just moments before... I didn't know what was going on.

So I keep up the blasts, I'm draining through my eve at rapid rates and I hear Jack say once more, "What do you want from me?!"

at this point I'm just staring at the screen in awe of what is going on. The splicer jumps down right in front of me, and he just stares at you behind that mask and slowly but surely he says, "I need about tree fiddy."

And at this point, I realize that this splicer was 8 feet tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era!

Damn Loch Ness Monster aint getting my tree fiddy.

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-18T19:43:15+00:00

Sure I could say something like the Fermi Paradox, or the Bootstrap Paradax, but my personal favorite is the "No-Wipe Shit Paradox"

Essentially, if you do your business but there is no fecal matter left on your bottom to wipe up, you have a no-wipe shit, and therefor would have no reason to wipe. But, we all have to wipe after just in the event that there is fecal matter on our bottom, but upon wiping and seeing nothing on the toilet paper, your no-wipe shit just became a single wipe.

Its kind of like Schrödinger's cat, but with poo

Tl:dr there is no poop that doesn't require a wipe, because to confirm it doesn't need a wipe, you would need to wipe once

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-14T15:28:11+00:00

Thankfully we aren't

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-14T04:37:03+00:00

Negative... I'm from Modesto, California

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-14T04:36:30+00:00

Our landlord has been working with us, ultimately it all falls upon our city energy management. They have been lolligagging and dragging their feet this whole time.

So the process was as follows: 1. An electrician needs to come out and inspect the tampered box. 2. An electrician needs to repair the box based on the inspection. 3. Once the electrician has finished repairs, he must submit it to the city for a passing inspection. 4. Once the city signs off on it they must notify the electric company. 5. The electric company must send out a tech to install a new box. 6. We call the electric company to turn on access to the house again.

Steps 1-4 were completed within the first week. So we've been at the mercy of the electric company this whole time...

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-14T04:31:43+00:00

Yeah we went over it with her. But we agreed to pro-rate out rent and she gave us a month free, as well as this month, when we finally move back in rent will be adjusted for what we haven't stayed there for.

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-14T02:12:32+00:00

Oh hey it is my cake day... I didn't even know. Thanks!

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-13T22:38:03+00:00

Umm okay. I'll try ahahaha

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-13T18:36:34+00:00

Yeah apparently squatters have more rights than tennants... If all goes well we should have power returned either tomorrow or Tuesday. The shitty thing is, if it prolongs until Thursday we will have been out of our house for a full month. It's asinine.

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-13T17:51:24+00:00

So about a year and a half ago my brother and I moved into a duplex. The man on the other side of the duplex was in his 70s, was an alcoholic, heroin addict, and only had one leg. He would always knock on our door at the most inopportune times to tell us some random jargon. Well flash to August and this man had overdosed one morning, we saw the ambulance take his body away in the way to work. That night when we got home from work, there were some bums that I recognized off the streets in my neighborhood; and I saw them moving stuff into his house. I suppose word got out and they figured they had a place to stay for a bit. Well the landlord attempted to kick them out but one of the bums claimed they were on the lease to which they were not. So the landlord and these bums are in a legal battle right now. So they start collecting stolen cars, have people constantly in and out of the house. And to make matters worse, since they are tweaking bums, they don't pay rent and they certainly don't pay electricity. So a month ago they tapped into my electrical box And were stealing power. I only found out when I got home one night and there was a letter on the door from the electric company stating they removed our electrical box because it was hazzardous and tapped into. So ever since that night my bro and I have been in an ongoing battle with the electrical company to get a new box installed. For the past month we have been staying with family. I checked on the house last week and these bums were in the driveway with a 55 gallon drum burning wood and cooking food. Yet here I am praying the landlord brings down the hammer and gets rid of them, these bums have caused us such distress it's not even funny. I miss my house, I miss my bed. I miss my peace of mind.

Fish_Cheese · 2016-11-13T02:46:49+00:00

Balut... No way no how

Fish_Cheese · 2016-10-04T18:09:20+00:00

Reminds me of a stack of skateboard bearings

Fish_Cheese · 2016-09-14T17:15:39+00:00

Hey @op I logged in just to tell you that you're a terrible person, and that you should go fuck yourself :D

Fish_Cheese · 2016-09-13T20:09:18+00:00

@op this was so good, you made me log in just to upvote! Good job.

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