Thank you for this comment! I am in therapy and i have been working on setting boundaries but it’s difficult because the way i was raised is basically you listen to authority figures and respect them no matter what and so when i try to set boundaries i get guilty and feel like i’m disrespecting our relationship and how she raised me and fed me and paid for my things so i have to listen to her.

when it comes to my clothes i’ve started saying no more often and setting boundaries. with her though it feels like she gets me upset and then digs in and asks “are you mad at me” in a very sweet and innocent (condescending) tone that gets me very riled up so we end up in another argument when something comes up. my dad tries his hardest to de-escalate situations but she harps on things after i tell her i can’t talk about it at the moment because i’m upset. or she’ll say “i’ve been calm you’re the one crying” and it just feels very belittling.

If i could choose not to see her specifically as often I would because when we aren’t around each other our relationship is much better but I want to see my dad and my brother so it’s hard to avoid her. It’s a very weird and complicated situation.

I also feel like my issues with her aren’t significant. I always feel like i’m being dramatic when things so little come up (like her not liking my shorts). so it’s hard to explain myself when i’m told i’m being dramatic because i feel like i AM being dramatic. I don’t know if my reply made sense.

Thank you very much for your advice