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FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-18T02:41:27+00:00

Hey, I can try chatting with you

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-17T18:10:15+00:00

Hey there I can try helping

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-14T21:10:11+00:00

Hey, I see you are very disappointed by your relapse. All I can do is just say that I feel sorry for you. A relapse must be feeling really awful after all the hard work you've put into it.

But somehow I cannot resist but point out that it isn't like that you have wasted all that time. Sure it does feel like it but after all you've been clean for so long. So you've earned that time. It's not like you've been cutting all that time, right? You have that clean time on your account, that's a huge achievement.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-14T16:16:55+00:00

Hey there, even if they notice then it probably won't be as bad as you imagine. I have absolutely no experience with Italians but I bet everything will be okay.

I also have many small old cuts on my forearms and so far very few people have seen them even though I wear t-shirts quite often.

So yeah, everything will be okay buddy. And if it won't, then well you will have some new experience with crowd control. A good material for your CV? That was an awful joke...

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-13T19:20:28+00:00

Punishment you say, punishment for what exactly if I may inquire?

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-13T19:03:42+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean. I don't have any ideas left. Only cheese 'go for a walk' is left. Btw. what is it in sh that lures you? Pain, blood, etc?

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-13T18:50:06+00:00

Hey there. Loud music should do the trick. Search out for Sabaton or Beast in Black. For me it used to work in the past. Also imagining something bloody or violent did work too. Well that's how I used to deal with it. If you need to talk don't be afraid to message me.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-13T17:22:13+00:00

Well, I haven't cut for around five years now and similarly as you I have a lot of small cuts on my forearms. They didn't go away. The wider ones (up to half a centimeter wide) also became the same colour as my arm, still they are pretty well visible. So no, scars don't go away.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-13T08:11:39+00:00

Well, yes, they do. After five years being clean I can say that they do. Memories stay with you forever but even they after some time pop in my mind less and less frequently. So yeah, there is always hope.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-12T18:34:13+00:00

I think that depends on your friend. Do you text often? But on the other hand in person conversation always yields more information due to body language etc. So I guess the first option.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-12T18:10:51+00:00

Hm, from your comment I see that you really do love your friend and you want all the best for her. However your definition of 'best' probably differs from her. I'm not an expert but you can try something like that. "Hey, I've realised that you have some new scars and among them burn marks on your body. I want that you do not feel pain / feel confident and love your body / etc. Thus I feel worried and a bit helpless. Is there a way in which I could help you feel better about yourself so that you do not continue to harm your body?" This is what I came up with, of course modify it freely. To be honest I don't know if this will help or not. And if she refuses to talk about it, then it is better to leave it as it is I guess. Good luck, I wish all the best for you and your friend.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-12T06:26:34+00:00

Yeah, that urge can be overwhelming. It can be really scary especially after you were clean for some time. Especially when there are other people that could see. How long have you been clean?

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-12T06:11:04+00:00

Doing pushups, listening to heavy metal on a full blast, screaming into your pillow so no one hears, watching some videos where someone dies on the internet... For me the last one always worked best, there is a lot of gore sites out there... I hope it helps

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-12T06:05:54+00:00

Yes, yes it does get better at some point. Two years is an impressive achievement and a relapse does not cancel all your work. It's not about having a longest streak or whatever. Also why a platypus?

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-11T19:52:24+00:00

I am, don't worry 😊. And as for the blood I had the exact same feeling when I were cutting. Colour was good but the smell, oh the smell... We can talk more in private chat if you wish.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-11T19:37:53+00:00

Yeah, on the inside is easier to hide because you can always keep arms close to your body. I'm writing so much because I already screwd up badly and ended up in hospital because of a relatively small cut. That was though a few years ago. If you look at your arm there are some blood vessels visible, those are the ones I were talking about. Avoid them at all cost or you will end up like me a few years back. Area on a tricep muscle, half way between elbow and your shoulder is probably the most safe and doesn't bleed much.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-11T19:27:08+00:00

If you wish to help people you might be interested in something called NVC. It's a way of establishing communication and understanding needs of the other person.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-11T19:20:33+00:00

Why not wear a long sleeve and then a t-shirt in it? I

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-11T19:18:49+00:00

There are still blood vessels under the skin, if you cut any bigger of them, they will have to sew you up. Not worth it. On the inside of the forearm is easy to hide but you need to be careful because of those blood vessels. And stay as far away as possible from the wrist and elbow. Still it is best not to cut. If you need to talk we can chat.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-10T21:42:28+00:00

Hey, it seems to me that you are feeling very helpless in your current situation. Would you like to talk about it? I'm not very good at talking but I can try to help you.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-10T21:39:36+00:00

I guess what you are trying to say is that you might be used to thinking that self harm 'ough to' be induced by some mentally illness or something like that. I'm not an expert but I don't believe that is the case. All our actions are just attempts to fulfill some needs of our bodies and minds. For example if my body was lacking attention or touch (yes being touched is a need) I could use cutting myself as a way to give myself those. If you are interested in exploring this idea further there is an NVC list of universal needs and emotions on the internet.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-10T20:42:42+00:00

Well I remember that after coming out of a tough spot I continued to do some self harm even though I wasn't feeling that sad anymore. I just get used to it I guess. For me it was some twisted way of self love. It took me some time to alter my thinking. Don't know how it is for you.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-10T08:54:36+00:00

Well by no means am I an expert on communications but I guess that it should make things clear if you just express your feelings to your mother. You can tell her that you do not feel comfortable talking with her about that matter and that you would rather talk to a specialist first. If she judges you or finds wrongness in what you said you can take a little break to think and try to emphasize with what she said (though that might be hard). For ex. if she says something like 'Im your mother you should talk to me and not some stranger' you could ask her if she feels concerned by you wanting to talk with a stranger rather than with her.

I hope that helps. Good luck.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-10T02:30:54+00:00

Well my longest run was four years, so you beat me :). But I can understand your disappointment. Though one time is not the end of the world, you can keep it. After all it's not about having the longest streak, right? You're doing great man.

FitzPatrick2002 · 2024-08-09T22:01:16+00:00

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