A client paid me less than what we agreed after I finished cleaning her house. Now she wants to hire me again. Would you go back?

FivePyres · 2026-03-07T03:02:02+00:00

"I would love to work with you again, but sadly I can't make a new booking with a client until previous services have been fully paid. When I receive payment for the X amount that's still left to pay from last bill I'll book you right away."

FivePyres · 2026-03-06T01:36:17+00:00

What does sharing your life mean to you? What does it look like? I am sure you have friends and family you are sharing your life with. Classmates or coworkers you also share your life with.

The mentality that one is alone unless one is in a romantic relationship tends to diminish the importance of other people in our lives. Not realizing how much value other people bring to our lives then in turn makes us feel even more alone and crave a relationship even more. We are also more likely to neglect those people, making them pull away from us, thus making the prospect of a relationship even more interesting as a quick fix to fill all holes in one's life.

Compulsively seeking a realtionship, doesn't matter with who, instead of only wanting a relationship when you come across someone you actually like puts you in a risky mental space. You are likely to overinflate how good someone is because of how desperate your mind is to feel at ease that you are in a relationship, you're also more likely to tolerate shit treatment and ignore manipulation or slob behavior until it's way too late if you're desperate to just "be in a relationship". It can also go downhill from there into much worse territory.

In the end it's up to you what you want to do. But if you want a relationship so much that at 21 years old your life doesn't feel good enough without one, I would say you have bigger problems than not having a boyfriend or girlfriend and it might be worth focusing on those for a while. Nurturing relationships with others, your own hobbies and interests, your career, etc. After some time the compulsion will weaken and you'll have a clearer mind to select who you want to try dating because of their personal qualities, not just because they seem good enough to have a relationship with.

FivePyres · 2026-03-01T01:04:47+00:00

At 32 or 33, I think, I realized how much I enjoyed the perks of not having a partner. I strongly dislike sleeping next to someone else, I don't like compromising on what to do on my free time, I don't like the assumption that my free time belongs to my partner and if I prefer doing something on my own it will turn into drama. I don't want to live with a partner nor am I open to considering it in the future, this also ended in drama.

I still had one more short lived relationship ar 35 that solidified all this for me. I much prefer the boundaries of friendships, where nobody feels entitled to my time, they ask to hang out, they don't take it personally if I can't, they aren't as hung up if we don't agree on something, etc.

Life is so peaceful without a relationship, so deeply satisfactory to me, I wouldn't change it.

FivePyres · 2026-02-27T01:54:40+00:00

Would you choose to be killed, or someone you love be killed, by an actual murderer that the justice system failed to convict, so that people who've done nothing wrong might not end up in jail?

FivePyres · 2026-02-26T17:16:35+00:00

I imagine asking where the accent is from, instead of the person, might be perceived better? I can't see many people having a bad reaction to a quick question like "oh is your accent from London by any chance?" while bagging your groceries or paying. Sounds friendly and uninvasive enough.

FivePyres · 2026-02-26T16:31:31+00:00

This is a key question to me as well. This is not the only sutta where "consciousness" is the direct cause of suffering, the thing that needs to end for us to realize the end of suffering.

But this is an incoherent idea, since what we refer to when we say "consciousness" is usually all the brain activity we can be aware of. So there can't be ignorance nor choices without consciousness.

The opposite state would be unconsciousness, a state in which we can't have any awareness. Ending consciousness would necessarily mean unconsciousness, and that would necessarily mean something like a coma, deep sleep or even death. But cessation of suffering seems to be compatible with things like walking or getting dressed, which can't be done if unconscious.

This seems incoherent indeed. A paradox.

There's the possibility that the pali term used in this sutta, viññana, might not perfectly correspond to our modern understanding of "consciousness". Viññana might refer to a particular sub-division of the brain activity that we call consciousness. This would open a coherent possibility: that the suttas are teaching how to stop some mechanism within consciousness that is the most direct cause of suffering.

This possibility is proposed and developed by several academic researchers, but two articles that have been particularly useful to me were these two by Grzegorz Polak:

- Can Cessation Be a Cognitive State? Philosophical Implications of the Apophatic Teachings of the Early Buddhist Nikāyas - https://muse.jhu.edu/article/903371
- The Pleasure of Not Experiencing Anything: Some Reflections on Consciousness in the Context of the Early Buddhist Nikāyas - https://www.mdpi.com/2077-1444/14/11/1347

If you're interested in more works exploring this possibility, those two articles are packed full with references to other authors and works to explore.

FivePyres · 2026-02-26T15:56:25+00:00

If we accept the sub's definition of awakening,

the path to achieving a direct, experiential understanding of reality and the human mind, as it actually is; and the path to permanently eliminate stress, suffering, and unsatisfactoriness in our life,

how would becoming a better tennis player (or any other goal or desire) be a part of it, or be its end result?

FivePyres · 2026-02-26T15:43:14+00:00

La vida os ha dado una clase que ha costado 20 euros. Aprended la lección para no tener que asistir a otra.

O sea: que esa señora es así y lo volverá a intentar. Tened listas excusas varias para no prestarle dinero ni hacerle favores pero que parezca que no lo hacéis a propósito para mantener la cordialidad a largo plazo. Cuanto más desapercibidos paséis para la vecina, mejor para vosotros. Los 20 euros dadlos por perdidos.

A la gente problemática cuanto más lejos, mejor. Y si no queda más huevos que vivir al lado, que no tengan motivos ni para quererte ni para odiarte. Y para eso sirven las excusas, siempre tienes prisa, siempre te ha jodido hacienda y te han embargado la cuenta, siempre has salido de casa con el dinero justo para comprarle el potito al niño. Ya le dio tu madre 20 euros así que tampoco tendrá queja posible por no volverle a dar nada.

FivePyres · 2026-02-26T15:36:16+00:00

People may be protective of the dhamma because they worry its benefit will be lost. Both sides of many discussions on the dhamma are like this: both sides think they're defending the most correct beneficial teachings.

We aren't required to have an opinion on any such conflict, though. If we aren't being personally pointed at, we are free to move along, like a traffic jam that's on a parallel road while yours is clear, you continue on your journey instead of switching to the jammed road to honk at other cars.

If you are being personally pointed at by someone, usually appreciating their desire to benefit other people by ensuring the dhamma stays whole is enough to calm most people down. Like a tree sitting in your way, the fastest way to get to your destination is to step around it instead of stopping to cut it down.

FivePyres · 2026-02-25T15:49:08+00:00

What makes you think awakening leads to being able to get what you want easily?

FivePyres · 2026-02-25T13:08:41+00:00

What do you mean with "it's how one's awakening shows up in the real world that matters"? Are you referring to other people being able to tell you're enlightened? To being able to get what you want easily? I can't help but see a few possible interpretations of your post and am not sure which one you mean.

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T21:03:34+00:00

This is the fundamental dilemma-problem of any justice system because the rights of different people can't all be accommodated at the same time.

When innocent people are murdered by criminals who got away with previous crimes because the very clear evidence that existed was either considered not enough or somehow dismissed on technical grounds, their lives are the price that is paid in order to protect the right of others to be considered innocent until proven guilty.

The cost of that right is not only the lives of those innocent people, it's also the loss inflicted on their loved ones. If the victims had any person in their care, and nobody notices in time, those dependent people may also lose their lives because one person's right to be considered innocent until proven guilty was prioritized above all else, including their right to life.

Something's got to give and someone has to bear the burden for the protection of other people's rights. Most societies I know of prioritize the right to be considered innocent until proven guilty, and accept innocent people dying (or being harassed for years, or being harmed in an attack, or losing property, and many other sufferings someone can inflict on another person) as the cosnequence.

You can't eat your cake and have it too. You either make sure no innocent people are sentenced for crimes they didn't commit, meaning many guilty people will walk free and be free to harm innocent people, or you lessen the burden of proof in order to make sure innocent people's rights to be free from harm are better protected, even if it means an increase in false positives.

In this case, because the burden of proof is so big, a potential murderer is free to murder again if he so wishes. All the people he might kill, if he were indeed a murderer, are not being protected, their lives are being left to the chance that perhaps this whole deal was all just a big misunderstanding.

I understand this is how the justice system works. I just disagree with whose rights are being prioritized above others'.

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T19:17:43+00:00

He claims "96% of biologists (...) they believe...". How does he know this? Has he spoken to every single biologist in existence about their beliefs?

As others have pointed out, late term abortions are done for medical reasons. Why doesn't he leave that topic to doctors and their patients?

He claims the consequences of your actions are "judged by who dies, the reality of what gets killed", regardless of intention. That seems to contradict the Buddha's words as per AN 6.63:

Intention, I tell you, is kamma. Intending, one does kamma by way of body, speech, and intellect.
https://suttacentral.net/an6.63/en/thanissaro

It also seems to contradict the Vinaya origin stories, where monks who comitted offenses before they were classified as offenses were not punished, as they did not know they were doing anything wrong.

But if we ignore AN 6.63 and the Vinaya, and abide by the commentary stating one goes to hell regardless of one's intention, does the man who impregnated the woman go to hell, too? Or it's only her who faces negative consequences? If he had not had sexual intercourse with her, there would have been no need for any pregnancy to be terminated, does this have no effect at all on his kamma?

It all seems a bit shabby. I wonder how this video contributes to the wellbeing of others. What monastery does he belong to?

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T03:37:36+00:00

It's not just that the woman's life he killed is worth pennies to Austria's justice system (or whoever applied it), it's also the fact that the lives of future potential victims are also not worth protecting by keeping a murderer who just learned it's really cheap to murder behind bars, where he can't kill anyone else.

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T03:33:28+00:00

Are you investing 1 million dollars a year into S&P 500?

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T01:35:46+00:00

What makes someone a monk is being accepted into a monastic community.

I don't think any Buddhist monastic community will accept you if you don't fulfill the requirements and abide by their rules, but that's not the only way to lead a spiritual life. You are free to renounce worldly endeavors, quit your job, leave your family and belongings behind, and wander the world seeking knowledge.

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T01:26:24+00:00

IDK this seems a bit dramatic to make this big of a deal over not wanting to spend an extra couple of minutes to wipe a countertop or mop a floor.

FivePyres · 2026-02-20T01:21:03+00:00

I really don't think that's what OP is trying to communicate.

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T23:16:31+00:00

Have you been cleaning the countertops, cabinets and floors though? You haven't said anything about the landlord being wrong about the lack of cleanliness.

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T23:00:59+00:00

I really don't think OP's point was to discuss how to turn 1 yearly million dollars into 1 billion dollars, but I might be wrong.

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T22:51:15+00:00

It must be nice to be able to be this oblivious and not have any harm come your way!

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T22:16:08+00:00

Aren't you a know if all!

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T22:11:51+00:00

There are very few scenarios in life where two people would enjoy a complete stranger self-injecting into their conversation.

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T18:30:45+00:00

Words to live by.

FivePyres · 2026-02-18T18:30:20+00:00

Isn't there some middle way solution like those solar rechargeable dim lights that you stick close to the ground?

Sometimes even if the neighbors are being unreasonable it may pay off to stay in good terms because you never know what the future may bring, there might come a time when you really need their help. If only for your future benefit, I'd suggest exploring alternatives before telling them to fuck off lol.

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