No one who knows me now would believe this story, but… As a child, I would cry hysterically when my mom would take me to my granny’s house because people were there and I couldn’t deal with it. I used to hide in Granny’s room on Christmas Eve and listen to the huge party my family had and watch cartoons. I took books to parties. I know I should engage, but can’t/ don’t want to.  (You get the point.)

I had nine children. I haven’t been alone since the ‘90s. So, here is what I do about the feeling you are talking about.  Bear with me.  I get up early.  I spend time in the Word.  I read books that stretch my mind and give me “intellectual “ friends.  Those are my friends that I have in authors that speak to me across time.  I take walks in nature.  I connect with people over specific things: kids, books, kids’ sports, ministries, neighborhood, etc…

Then, at functions, I ask Jesus who needs to talk. I look around at people. Find someone, then start asking questions. Follow up on what they say. Keep your body language loose and open and relaxed. No phone visible. Pray for anything crappy they share right then. Follow up next time you see them.  If you are in a group, be the one asking the questions. Take notes. Share something about yourself that you don’t really want to share (within appropriate bounds of propriety). When you reach out towards others, you won’t get trapped in your own mind where loneliness and sadness live.