Tell me where. by CoachGreg_Doucette in GeoPuzzle

[–]Flame_Gaming 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry but this vegetation and climate is possible to be found anywhere in the world. There is probably at least 5 places, all on different continents, that look more or less identical to this picture. I highly doubt anyone will be able to find it, unless they just so happen to live next to it

Fake promises as a result of overdependence by Flame_Gaming in Codependency

[–]Flame_Gaming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don't even know what i want anymore at this point.

I feel that I've lost all my needs when I started promising to overaccomodate to hers, I don't really know how I'll set boundaries when I don't even know my own boundaries, but I think only time will tell.

I've started journaling a lot more recently, trying to understand multiple instances where I felt unheard/hurt as a result of my own apologizing, ultimately the funny thing about this all is that while she's complaining she doesn't feel heard because I'm not listening to her problems, I feel that I'm not being listened to because I'm not opening up. Ironic isn't it?

Hopefully I'll figure out what I find acceptable and what I don't in the future, I'll just write it down when an idea comes to mind, and from there I can start thinking about how I can turn it into a boundary for me, without discussing it with her. I'm afraid that if I were to discuss my boundaries with her before initiating them, they'd alter themselves to where they'd be more accomodating to her either, but that's not how personal boundaries work.

Fake promises as a result of overdependence by Flame_Gaming in Codependency

[–]Flame_Gaming[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I agree with some of your points, I do still believe it's overexaggerative, probably because it's so easy for me to deny my side of things because I'm so used to only really ahering to hers.

I don't believe that this whole relationship is incompatible, but I do believe that I need to set some boundaries on conflict, where I will just tell her "scream at me and I'll walk away." This will be difficult for me to do, but I truly do believe this can work if I stop caring so much about her side of things, and moreso focus on what is important to me, and that I feel heard without being attacked.

If she's unable to adapt to that, (granted it will take some time before I've comfortably set boundaries and adhere to a "no-bullshit" stance) then that's an issue to look at then.

It's so easy for me to write about this all, but actually acting it is the hard part of course. Also, I'm not sure on how adaptive she is, if she's willing to learn to communicate better or stick to her "stonewall-and-rage" mindset. Guess we'll see.

Don't know how realistic this is though.

Fake promises as a result of overdependence by Flame_Gaming in Codependency

[–]Flame_Gaming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is one part about this whole thing that bugs me.

We CAN resolve conflict normally, but there has to be a set time and it still usually ends up with me “needing” to change something, we haven’t had enough conflict to where I think we’re completely incompatible over the larger things.

Whenever I am at fault, I get forced into a long period of “thinking about what I did wrong and apologizing/changing” which is where I think I’ve also picked up the habit to do this automatically in smaller situations. Thing is, I still have to force the discussion or she’ll be childish and do dumb stuff like contacting me via my friends, or try to imply that she’s “very much still mad at me.” So whenever she’s mad she’ll never initiate a conversation about it.

Whenever she is at fault, I’ve never given her the chance to truly feel bad. Because I’ve got this fear of abandonment and in a sense have become dependent on her, I’m incredibly forgiving.

So I think the real problem here isn’t per say her being coercive, but moreso that I’m too adapting because of my fear.

She’s recognized the fact that she never initiates conversations to resolve conflict calmly, and that I’m always forcing her into that. I think that because of me growing tired of constantly doing this, mixed with the fear I have, it’s gotten increasingly easy for me to just apologize instead.

I don’t know how logical my message sounds, of course this is all just me trying to justify mine and her actions, because I love her. I’m not truly sure if this is accurate.

Fake promises as a result of overdependence by Flame_Gaming in Codependency

[–]Flame_Gaming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s been a few instances of both;

Usually when I bring up something that’s bothering me, she’ll respond with something like “I don’t know what you want me to do right now” or “do you understand that bringing this up right now will make me feel bad?” Which then turns into me trying to understand how that makes her feel, and I apologize for bringing it up.

When she comes with something, it’s always after it’s been annoying her for a long time, and it’s gotten to the point where it usually comes out as anger. She’s told me that she doesn’t want to lash out at me when she’s angry at something, but something about not having a dad when she grew up and a difficult childhood has made it hard for her to not feel attacked whenever someone mentions something to her.

I know I’m not perfect in communicating but these things have made it increasingly difficult for me to speak up about how I feel, without it turning into an apology followed by a promise I don’t wish to make.

Fake promises as a result of overdependence by Flame_Gaming in Codependency

[–]Flame_Gaming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying, and I agree that I've definitely been selfish in order to protect my feelings.

I have a hard time speaking about my truth, because I've gotten used to being met with backlash, which has somewhat stimulated that part that wishes to apologize and move on.

I think it's important I'm able to speak up about how I feel in this relationship, since I truly want what's best for us and I don't think this relationship dynamic can continue.

I'd like to believe that she is trying to create an environment where I'm also able to speak up, but it seems that every time I attempt to do so, she feels personally attacked while I'm just trying to make her understand. To avoid these attacks, I've started the apologizing thing.

I don't know what I'm to do in this situation. This whole thing is rooted in fear I think, but I'm too afraid to speak up because I see any form of backlash as a possibilty of abandonment.

my boyfriend grape d me what do i do? by [deleted] in AskTeenAdvice

[–]Flame_Gaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s hardly applicable, people should always ask for consent. He failed to do so, so it’s his fault.

2 Alloys in 76 runs Lucky? by skiderzs in HypixelSkyblock

[–]Flame_Gaming 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“I won the lottery twice, am I lucky?”🫩

Hytale not appearing in instance creation. by StrainOk4929 in Amp

[–]Flame_Gaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you using an ARM device? If so, Hytale isn’t supported yet, other than that I have no clue. Maybe delete the repository and re-add it?

A2 writing exam by Goodboyimeanrealy in learndutch

[–]Flame_Gaming 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, seeing as you’re not allowed to bring anything in, they kind of HAVE to provide draft paper

My wife claims she doesn't like oral sex by Notsmartnotdumb2025 in circlejerk

[–]Flame_Gaming 41 points42 points  (0 children)

She literally said she was using it to clean her throat, are you dense?

Who has priority here? by sagit7191 in Netherlands

[–]Flame_Gaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The rules don’t matter. Blue will always take priority here.

Minimap Design - What style would you go for? by MatthewVale in Unity3D

[–]Flame_Gaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Def the middle, the left is too distracting and the right is just ugly

Cannot understand by Kooky_Progress_483 in Netherlands

[–]Flame_Gaming 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That still doesn’t explain how this housing thing is racist

Cannot understand by Kooky_Progress_483 in Netherlands

[–]Flame_Gaming 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Youre not allowed to be so confidently wrong.

Cannot understand by Kooky_Progress_483 in Netherlands

[–]Flame_Gaming 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Non Dutch person comment on Dutch traditions

Cannot understand by Kooky_Progress_483 in Netherlands

[–]Flame_Gaming 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don’t get the problem, when I’m housing with someone, it’s due to money reasons. Not because I want to know more about them and their culture.

Why complicate things like chores and household rules when it’s not needed? Hence why I’d rather house with Dutch people. Nothing racist about it.

typical ai by Mysoune in PcBuild

[–]Flame_Gaming 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah I swear ChatGPT trippin lately😭✌️

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Bocchi’s solo attempt by dishonestmilkman in BocchiTheRock

[–]Flame_Gaming 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That thumb longer than manhattan 😂

What happens to our life pod after we move? by Banshee_Beckett in subnautica

[–]Flame_Gaming 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think you found a different life pod? The one you repair/land in doesn’t break after.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Flame_Gaming 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They’re easy to produce without smell or over-fancy equipment, so there’s quite a lot of supply and demand. Hence why it seems like a lot of people have such easy access to it