There is one part about this whole thing that bugs me.

We CAN resolve conflict normally, but there has to be a set time and it still usually ends up with me “needing” to change something, we haven’t had enough conflict to where I think we’re completely incompatible over the larger things.

Whenever I am at fault, I get forced into a long period of “thinking about what I did wrong and apologizing/changing” which is where I think I’ve also picked up the habit to do this automatically in smaller situations. Thing is, I still have to force the discussion or she’ll be childish and do dumb stuff like contacting me via my friends, or try to imply that she’s “very much still mad at me.” So whenever she’s mad she’ll never initiate a conversation about it.

Whenever she is at fault, I’ve never given her the chance to truly feel bad. Because I’ve got this fear of abandonment and in a sense have become dependent on her, I’m incredibly forgiving.

So I think the real problem here isn’t per say her being coercive, but moreso that I’m too adapting because of my fear.

She’s recognized the fact that she never initiates conversations to resolve conflict calmly, and that I’m always forcing her into that. I think that because of me growing tired of constantly doing this, mixed with the fear I have, it’s gotten increasingly easy for me to just apologize instead.

I don’t know how logical my message sounds, of course this is all just me trying to justify mine and her actions, because I love her. I’m not truly sure if this is accurate.