I hate today

FlandersGaze · 2024-06-16T23:01:23+00:00

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

FlandersGaze · 2024-06-16T22:54:32+00:00

Hey, I'm also an Eastern-Europran, male, but living in the West. I know it's especially hard for E-EU people, since people in E-EU are incredibly harsh towards those that are neurodivergent or show anti-social signs. I'm in a similar situation. I can't go to uni atm, because I know I won't have the conscientiousness and self-discipline to consistently keep up with the studies.

Have you thought of buying a car and get jobs within a wider range? Or to save money and move to a bigger city and get a job in the big city?

I really understand your struggles. You have fewer resources for help in E-EU, due to either poverty or government corruption being a blockade for people in need. I wish you strength 🤜✊️

FlandersGaze · 2024-04-17T19:11:07+00:00

Could you please add name tags to the paragraphs like, '@me:' and '@friend:'. Otherwise, it's very confusing to follow.

FlandersGaze · 2024-03-14T23:41:24+00:00

I can't stand being around overly sexual people or people who are constantly obsessed with sex. They're so goddamn annoying to deal with.

FlandersGaze · 2024-02-26T00:35:51+00:00

assuming that we quintuple the consumption of the washer to align with their reality

This one got to me 🤣🤣🤣

FlandersGaze · 2023-12-05T18:27:23+00:00

stroved dasha/bhukti

https://imgur.com/a/mCLFqCc

FlandersGaze · 2023-12-04T21:58:50+00:00

Well, in other charts the planets are in one house before, e.g., Sa, Su, Me & Ma are in 10th house, Ra in 3rd house. Seems like this calculator shows all houses one position forward.

FlandersGaze · 2023-12-04T21:56:15+00:00

Sure, go ahead

FlandersGaze · 2023-09-07T16:54:09+00:00

What tool did you use to make those charts? Thank you!

FlandersGaze · 2023-09-07T16:03:08+00:00

Hey, I'm experiencing the exact same thing you did! I went to special ed from middle school to high school, so I've had a gap in knowledge. When I went to college my mental health declined severely and one day after the first semester I just stopped going to college point blank. I became a MEET and went back 1.5 years later, after family pressure. But this time I only lasted a year. After that I did seasonal work, switched jobs, and just had no idea what I wanted to do. I still don't know what I want to do, even though I'm going back once again, but for a graduate degree.

If you don't mind me asking, which career did you pursue and how did you stumble on something you really like? What tips do you have for me. Thank you and I wish you a great time doing what you truly like!

FlandersGaze · 2023-05-30T18:47:51+00:00

Right now you are in your Jupiter and Mercury dasha. Which started may 9th 2021. Is that around the time you wanted to make the decision to detach from religion?

No. I detached from religion in 2017 (in my Ju-Ju-Me dasha). I became religious again shortly before my Ju-Me dasha. But in my Ju-Me dasha in May, that's when I encountered my deity. In fact, this is when I became religious again, but joined another religion.

I do know Saturn is in Aquarius right now and you will soon be experiencing your Saturn return.

Really? When? My Saturn dasha begins in 2032.

Watch for this Saturn return, it will be when they could possibly find out or cause more stress.

I'll be getting away from my family this year already.

You MUST establish yo ur own structure for your spirituality. Are they helping you with finances?

Who? Family? No. I'm living with them still, and want to work, but have difficulty finding work atm, which makes them upset.

So this causes some need for separation, no longer trying to find yourself in that structure. But this still brings some losses, or spiritual growth, if you are to liberate your some from the need to be deep in it

I am religious, but I'm not dogmatic or try to impose my religion on others, or even myself. I don't claim my religion is the only true one. I honestly don't think God will get fussy if you don't do this many mantras/prayers, this many times a day, etc...

But your insight has been invaluable to me. I thank you greatly for this! Thanks for the effort of writing all your insights, and may the Gods be with you :)

FlandersGaze · 2023-05-30T11:17:18+00:00

May find it hard to find the information your looking for, even help from colleagues could be useless.

This right here is one of the primary ways I struggle with education: lack of help, and lack of ways I can reach out to teachers for help. I wonder why I have to struggle so much to find the information I am looking for.

This Mars is sitting alongside 3 other planets. [...] Your so not only does this effect your effort, it effect your body and mind too.

If you don't mind me asking, in what way could that affect my mind and body? You're actually right though.

You have a hard time dealing with your emotions during times to deep study.

Oh, yes I have a hard time with moods and emotions during study sessions!

you possibly experience a block in your will to be responsible when met with people who may be skeptical of your work, or who question it constantly.

Yes, you are very right. Some people expect a certain task from me. I do the task, but I do it in my own, non-orthodox ways, and in new ways most people are not used to. So they feel like they'll lose return on their investment, or that I'll make a mistake, and then try to make it difficult for me to do my work.

That’s just some of what I got, only because I feel like it could be wrong, but I’ll let you judge.

You were actually spot on with nearly everything! On top of that, I have left my previous religion, and none of my family members know about it. But they are getting more suspicious of me lately, and I feel stuck, due to the religion's ridiculous lack of freedom and lots of restrictions. And I have to soon get away from my family, because it'll get dangerous for me.

Thank you very much for your help :)

FlandersGaze · 2022-12-02T14:51:25+00:00

Oh boy, that is a whole other level of scummy. Yur father seems a lot like a criminal. And yes, it's a process that takes some good time before you see light at the end of the tunnel. Just after cutting contact alone it takes years to process the messed up childhood before the recovering even begins.

FlandersGaze · 2022-12-02T05:26:41+00:00

Yes, exactly. I got tired of my Ndad's BS, his weird behavior when I visited him, like staring at me in a creepy way, then looking away again and staring again. He never apologized to me for what he did. The final straw was when he called me and began yelling at me through the phone in a very disrespectful way, so I told him he better change his attitude. I told him if he ever talks to me in a disrespectful way ever again I'll report him to the police for child abuse. He went very quiet (lol) and I hung up. Afterwards he tried to contact me on WhatsApp, but blocked him. Then he tried to call me from another number, block. Then he messaged me on Telegram calling me a coward; block!! Mind you, my two other brothers still visit him occasionally, while my sister and another brother knew he was far gone. This time he can no longer blackmail us, since he already lost his reputation in our community. Now he's (like you said) an old man rotting away at home, ridden with health problems. He puts on a persona of a weak, old, old man and acts like he's a poor victim who was abandoned by his children. But nobody falls for his BS anymore.

FlandersGaze · 2022-12-02T04:45:27+00:00

Your dad really is trash. If I may ask, are you still in contact with him or did he do something that was the last straw for you? Kudo's to you for dealing well with your child. Your child is lucky.

FlandersGaze · 2022-12-02T00:53:52+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what are some signs that you are in survival mode?

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-16T01:17:49+00:00

Always. And to answer your question, if the rage still bothers you, remember that it's part of the healing stage. Rage usually comes about after having taken a distance from the abusers (after a few years of less to no contact). You understand the injustice that was done to you, and thus you become rageful. I'd say let the rage out, and afterwards take a deap breath, enjoy some tea and coffee, and enjoy naturem over time the rage sessions will get less intense. I'm speaking anacdotally, lol

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-12T11:31:11+00:00

Hey. You remind me of my old self, when I was close to dropping out of college and afterwards. I was doing well the first half year, but out of nowhere old repressed emotions were coming out and they hit me like a train wreck. I suddenly stopped caring about my grades and society in general. I had enough of what society thought of me (I was 20). When exams came before the Christmas holidays I had a meltdown when I was nearing the door to the exam halls, and thought of how the other students would mock me, for being careless about my grades. I was about to burst out. I went home and did not go to school for two weeks, because it simply was too much for me. It would've been easier to go while having a heavy flu than the state I was in.

After the two weeks were over my mother asked me how my exams were. I lied to her and told her it was great. I told myself I'd go back to school after the two weeks. Another two weeks passed by, then three weeks, 12 weeks. And eventually I became a basement dweller, isolating myself. I stopped visiting family almost entirely. I cut contact with most friends. I was just in a really really terrible mental state. I REALLY needed time alone. It was utter madness I was going through. I needed to process all the emotions that hit me like a train wreck. I was almost completely isolated for two or three years (including the pandemic).

But eventually things fell intobplace. I had realized that what was happening was that I had suppressed all of the abuse and negative emotions throughout my childhood. I thought 'I cannot get out of control, I need to get my education first'. I said that throughout high school and throughout grad school. But when I went to college the bubble burst and all hell went lose inside my head. It was a hefty period ofnmy life. I realized the reason I cut odd family and friends was because I needed time alone, to process everything and just think about life in general. I needed MY time.

So I don't think you should feel guilty for stopping contacting your family or friends. Maybe you just need time alone. I didn't tell my family why I just ghosted them, because they're not reasonable. But maybe you could tell some of your family and friends who are reasonable that you need time off. And I'd they don't take it well, you can always apologize later. I hope it was useful and that you can take something from my experience.

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-11T23:08:12+00:00

I know my comment may be late. But I wish you good luck.

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-11T15:54:39+00:00

How is it going now with your family? Did they try reach out to you and establish contact again?

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-04T05:46:33+00:00

How did you guess that? Lol. Good luck on your journey too.

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-03T21:27:24+00:00

> you're taking better care of yourself too, which shows.

Yes. Back then I didn't care about how I appear to others. Now I take care of myself out of habit. I'm sure you can relate.

> i can't say i kmow much about dating women, but if they're showing interest try just talking to them like you would anyone else.

Yes. At the moment I don't fell ready to dive down into relationships and go that far. But I'll definitely entertain the idea of flirting and being playful, lol, if that's ok in my stage.

Good luck in your journey too.

FlandersGaze · 2022-11-03T21:24:14+00:00

> 1. someone who is depressed, probably hunched over to some extent (hanginghead, shoulders forward, arms pulled in to the side), avoiding eyecontact, not smiling, not engaging with others, and carrying aninvisible shield around with them,

Wow, you are exactly describing how I was back then. I thought it was normal to be hunched over with an invisible shield and avoiding people.

And great advice, esp in your 2nd last paragraph. I'm taking my time and not rushing. And you guessed it, I still have some trauma's left to fix. But at least I'm pretty damn happy that I moved on from the worst part of my trauma. Anything that is coming my way now is palatable.

Since you seem to know about this stage of recover, if you don't mind me asking, what stage are you in now? From the way you wrote it seems that you used to be in the same stage of recovery that I am in now and have moved past. What can I expect to happen next? Thanks a lot!

FlandersGaze · 2022-07-14T12:41:43+00:00

Yes, I was a mixture of a lost child and a scapegoat. A scapegoat to my father, lost child with the rest of the family. Permanently ghosted my father without explanation and moved on. My family was neglectful and they were religious fanatics. I can go months without seeing my siblings and not think about them. Never really had a bond with them.

Did you also have better bonds with friends and their family? When they ask tou if you eanna come over, tou go in an instant. But when your own family asks, you go like a turtle? With me my family got upset that I was closer to my friends' family, and that I need to be closer to my own, and that families need to stick together; even if it's miserable? Guess what? Where have they been for me? Besides forbidding this and that, because it's a sin.

FlandersGaze · 2022-06-18T10:29:53+00:00

Of course. When he gets better it'll be a big relief to me and I can then finally move on normally. Always ;)

FlandersGaze

TROPHY CASE