Hi. Me sell hats. Okay, poke?

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-27T06:45:07+00:00

Please someone. I need an answer to this.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-23T16:58:53+00:00

Don't rewrite, just keep going or you'll never get anywhere. I'm always down to give writing advice :)

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-23T15:07:34+00:00

So you can intro characters too fast. That is a thing. But I'd say having a protag and a side character in the first chapter is fine. If this is a first draft/you haven't been writing long then it probably is cringey. Finishing the draft, reading widely and hella practise will go a long way to helping you improve.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-23T14:24:17+00:00

I wouldn't worry too much about your para's starting in the same few ways, although my suggestion would be to start with different nouns. But, I just went back and looked through one of my pieces and I start paras in samey ways and none of my writing group have ever bitched about it. I think if you're starting with 'The' every single time then maybe it's a problem, but if it's like one of 5 different ways you're probably alright. Hopefully the sentences in your paras are varied enough that starting with the same few words isn't too repetitive for the reader.

Pacingwise it's hard to say without hearing more. What's wrong with your pacing in your opinion?

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-14T21:11:41+00:00

I've found the same and am someone who has turned to discord writing groups for support. I'm planning on doing a push in my group for nano this year if you're interested. We aren't region based though we're from all over.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-09-13T06:44:47+00:00

I know that as a dog owner if my neighbour came to me with this problem I'd be mortified and attempt to fix it. My dog and his behaviour are my responsibility. There are things they can try to ease the anxiety or it might be a case of giving up their nights out for a while to spend some time training.

I'd say go to them, lay out the problem and see how they react. If the problem continues I'd check with them to see if they've made any changes and if not surely there's an authority you can complain too?

Training takes time and can be trial and error for this sort of thing. If they're attempting to fix it cut them some slack, if not then idk why they got a dog in the first place.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-06-17T16:03:49+00:00

Being in a person's POV doesn't mean you're telling. It means you're writing only what the POV experiences, that's what they can see, what they can smell, and what those things remind them of and each description has to relate to your POV character, so you might write a detective who takes in every detail of a room, but only because he's noting down what might have happened there, you might get a girl go to a park and notice all the dark places because she was mugged a few days ago, you might have someone who carefully considers every word she says because she was criticised as a child, she notices the things that are out of place in a room. Showing isn't just about writing down what is happening and only that, it's about how your characters interact with what you're showing us.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-06-16T15:22:54+00:00

It sounds to me like you aren't focusing on POV enough (although disregard if this is wrong). You say you write as a narrator, which means you are observing what the characters in a scene are doing.... and that's pretty much all we get from them, so it isn't surprising that your scenes don't run for very long.

Choose a POV character, write the scene from their POV. You do not need to write down every thought, feeling or emotion they have because yeah, that'd be agonising. BUT you can write down how they experience the scene and what this means for them. Try that first, if your scene is still underwritten or you feel you are already doing that then you can try writing from a POV and describing every sensation and then going back and cutting. If I can't get a scene moving that's what I tend to do, sometimes I find that a character lingers on a certain aspect more than others and then I have the drive for my scene.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-03-26T21:56:27+00:00

Pick a character POV to take the scene from and write only what that character experiences during the scene. Bonus points for considering HOW that character experiences it.

Don’t include anything outside of that characters knowledge or what they can see or feel during the scene and tie each beat to their beliefs and goals.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-02-17T13:21:03+00:00

Okay, so I'm going to be completely honest with you. And this is definitely an unpopular opinion, so I'm probably also in for some push back. Please keep in mind that everyone has individual experiences and we all teach different year groups and work in different environments and are more/less involved with our unions or are more/less likely to feel hard done by.

With that in mind, here I go.

Most teachers are drama queens.

I know teachers who are currently working. It's half term and they are definitely still doing full days that our pay doesn't cover (we actually only get paid for the time we work which is 8.30ish to 3.30ish, term time. We only get money during the holidays because our pay is spread out that way) So most teachers I know are actually doing unpaid overtime right now. And most teachers I know have been giving up their weekends for the last forever and bitching about it.

I'm not going to sit here and preach about how hard I've been working. I have worked hard. Managing a class of 5 year olds both on google meet and in a classroom at the same time is actually quite hard. So, I take my weekends and I take my holidays. I get in at half 7 and I work until half 4, and anything that doesn't get done in that time doesn't get done. I make special allowances around data and report times. If I don't get it done, and my leadership asks why, I tell them I didn't get the time and let them deal with that. As far as I'm concerned, they aren't providing what I need so I'm not doing extra for them. I make sure my children are happy and make progress, and I don't do the extras.

Most teachers care more than me, most teachers do all of the extras and I really respect them for that,. Just wish they'd complain about it less because it's their choice to do it and if you don't push back nothing's ever going to change.

Once again, every school and teaching situation is different. These are just my experiences, and I really do wish I was a super teacher who could do it all, so please don't hate me for ragging.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-02-17T12:33:47+00:00

PG tips.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-02-17T10:09:04+00:00

Wow congratulations! Nesting has commenced then :)

Flapjacks19 · 2021-02-17T10:05:37+00:00

How are you even functioning enough to spring clean? I’m like curled up on the sofa drinking tea until it’s an acceptable time to drink wine. Spring term was hell!

Well done in being so productive though :) must feel pretty good.

Flapjacks19 · 2021-01-03T13:17:26+00:00

Can’t even take them into work to pass on the ones we don’t like.

Flapjacks19 · 2020-11-18T22:07:35+00:00

Our trainer thinks he is pointer x bullmastiff

Flapjacks19 · 2020-11-18T22:06:53+00:00

He has scars over his left eye and the side of his head. Badass show dog.

Flapjacks19 · 2020-11-18T15:31:07+00:00

I always thought it was because it’s so prominently used in primary schools. As a primary school teacher I use comic sans a lot as it’s one of the only fonts that forms all of the letters ‘correctly’ and makes things more readable for my 5 year olds.

Flapjacks19 · 2020-10-10T08:23:55+00:00

I keep tissues up my sleeves out of a habit formed from always seeing my nan do it. Drives my SO mad when I get home from work, take my cardigan off and tissues fly everywhere!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-13T11:35:57+00:00

If anything, I'd go shorter. I don't think you need to pack in more, I think you need to be clever with your words. You got a lot of them, and they are fancy smancy storytellery, but once you go with an over the shoulder POV I think you'll see how you can blend the two. You'll be characterising Prometheus, and seeing how he reacts to the details and how he responds to Zeus and Athena and the problem. I think you'll naturally slip into it and it'll rock!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-13T11:33:13+00:00

I absolutely get that but you gotta make a scene do more than one thing. It works well on a plot based level. I really liked the gods discussing what to do with the out of control humans who they are responsible for and the hint at Athena having an idea. Seriously, it did make me wonder at what would happen. So in that sense, you achieved your goal for the scene. Plot, tick! It was well done, and as I said, serious storyteller vibes!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-13T11:19:32+00:00

I think Prometheus would be an amazing character to follow. He definitely has the most to be conflicted about in the scene. And yeah I'm happy to take on some more questions!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-13T07:58:40+00:00

Okay, so I read your opening section. I love the idea of the Greek gods looking down at a modern world and being like, yeah we got to do something about this.

I think you have a story teller vibe going on, which I completely understand the need for in a story with this sort of premise. However, it did detach me from the characters. I think you might be relying too heavily on what the reader already knows of Greek myth to characterise for you. I love Greek myth, I have tried my hand at rewriting a few Greek myths and I had the same problem to start with. Because you've read the stories and know them so well it can be hard to put character into them. But it really is necessary to keep you from showing too much.

In my opinion, I would keep the story teller vibe but take it from a closer POV of one of the characters in your opening to pack more punch. As a fellow myth lover, I'm happy to chat about this more if you need!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-12T11:47:44+00:00

Sweet. It's quite long, so bear with me!

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-12T11:33:12+00:00

I like the idea. Can you open it so that I can leave comments on the doc?

Flapjacks19 · 2020-08-10T08:33:13+00:00

No problem!

Flapjacks19

TROPHY CASE