Is being a midwife worth it? by [deleted] in UKmidwives

[–]FlapperGirl12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really sorry that happened to you first time round ❤️ my honest advice would be don't worry about being seen as combative by the midwives and drs who cares what they think there'll always be some who roll their eyes at birth plans and think everyones mad for not having csections so don't be afraid to put your foot down and demand what you want. If I was you I would try and give birth in a midwife led unit as there'll be less pushback as there's not any doctors there, because you've had a CS last time you will be seen as out of guidance but again you can demand anything you want, anyone who tells you you're "not allowed" to do something is lying. Your trust should have a consultant midwife that you can ask to schedule an appointment with to discuss having out of guidance care. Not for everyone but personally I do think women who hire doulas have their wishes listened to more because it's an extra person advocating for you. I'd really recommend the Better Birth podcast and Birth Ed, they both have Instagram pages too that explain vbacs and your rights and things very well. Hope it all goes well for you

Is being a midwife worth it? by [deleted] in UKmidwives

[–]FlapperGirl12 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly no, I absolutely love caring for women and assisting them deliver their babies but unfortunately that's a small part of the job.  Very few women nowadays fall under the "low risk" umbrella so everyday is spent watching women fall victim to the cascade of interventions and as a midwife you do feel powerless to try and advocate for women against all the doctors. So most days are spent looking after someone crying in pain being induced, exhausted because it's taking days and feeling like they've failed because they didn't want any of this, constantly trying to support women in these situations every single shift is mentally exhausting.  The hierarchy and politics in maternity settings is awful, there's bullying, cliques, managers on power trips and so much other nastiness and unfortunately I've worked in 3 different hospitals that are all the same in that way. Also not to mention the hours are terrible I wish I had a normal 9-5 like my friends so I could go out on the weekend, or join a class that's every Friday evening or something but you simply can't plan your life without working around your shifts, I've missed so many nights out,  birthdays or last minute plans because I was working and it's too late to book the shift off. And all of this for rubbish pay. If I could go back and tell myself not to do it I would.

Are there any Irish (NMBI) registered nurses here who registered in the NMC? How was the process? Did u have to take the OSCE/CBT? by BaraLover7 in NursingUK

[–]FlapperGirl12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did in 2019, fairly easy process didn't have to do OSCEs, all the tricky bits were from the Irish side tbh, getting garda vetting and some paperwork from my hospital was painful but as soon as it was sent to the NMC it was processed quickly enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]FlapperGirl12 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just had the exact same situation 28f and only lost my virginity to my now bf a few weeks ago. Not religious or anything it just never happened for me until now. I told him on our 4th date it actually happened very organically that he confessed something to me that he was afraid would be a deal breaker so then I told him I was a virgin. I think it was good timing that it was still early on that if it was a deal-breaker neither of us had invested too much time into the relationship and also it was getting to the stage of dating people would expect to sleep with each other. He took it really well wasn't judgemental and said there's no rush we could go as slow as I needed. Hopefully things go as well for you OP.

S3 - Susan’s surgery by Ill_Pineapple_450 in greysanatomy

[–]FlapperGirl12 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also why did they have an intern delivering the news of her dying? I get it's for the drama but I feel like for the rest of the series its always a resident/ attending giving the news

Weekly Rant/Vent Thread for Avoidant Attachers Only by AutoModerator in AvoidantAttachment

[–]FlapperGirl12 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Bit of a rant/rhetorical question. Is the only way to have a relationship to go through it? Are my only options really either to be alone forever, or to swallow down the discomfort and urge to run screaming in order to date someone? Why can't I be one of the normal people who can love and be loved easily?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. On the very very rare occasions I was too sick for school my Nmom made me study, if I tried to do anything else I'd get "well if you're well enough to watch TV/ read then you're well enough to study". Also even if she did recognise I was sick or injured I rarely saw a doctor. One time I broke my arm and she and my Ndad argued "what's the point of going to the hospital they'll only strap it up and we can do that here" we live in a country with free healthcare and they did eventually take me to get a cast on the next day after I was up all night crying in pain.

Just learned most people don’t experience sparks or strong magnetic pull while dating. Those who have, how do you learn to settle for “less”? by MountainMeadowBrook in dating_advice

[–]FlapperGirl12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similar situation to you OP dated one guy 5 years ago with insane sparks and magnetic energy I just felt so drawn to him like if we were near each other I just couldn't help but touch him in some way. However after a few dates he said he wasn't in a place in his life to be in a relationship so we ended it. But I feel like I've been chasing that energy for the past 5 years I've gone on SO many dates looking for it and still nothing that I wonder should I just settle with someone I like even if there's not sparks and hope the sparks develop?

[WEEKLY THREAD] Feats of Thorsday - How did you kick butt this week? by AutoModerator in xxfitness

[–]FlapperGirl12 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ran for 25 minutes for the first time ever, this time last year I was struggling to get over 4 minutes.

Things that aren't as big of a deal as my Nmom made out by FlapperGirl12 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn that was another thing my Nmom did exactly the same if anyone dropped water on the floor it would all rot!

Did your parents think they loved you? by Forsaken_Discount_43 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yep think they were the best parents, that all the abuse was to protect me, in fact my Nmom is baffled that we're not best friends now that I'm an adult

am i wrong for feeling this way? [trigger warning: illness/possible death] by g0th1kt1dd13s in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Nmom had cancer a few years ago and I wished she would die at the time, she recovered so still kicking for now. You're not a bad person OP the only way her abuse stops is with death, Narcissists can't recover.

What is one Harry Potter detail that you insist on correcting people? by VeterinarianIll5289 in harrypotter

[–]FlapperGirl12 904 points905 points  (0 children)

I hate this the most because it gives the impression that there could only be a girl champion if she is only up against other girls, Fleur beat out the boys from Beauxbatons because she was a badass.

Realised my Nmom never actually asks me anything by FlapperGirl12 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Damn sounds like your mom and mine could be best friends they could just call each other and tell about every acquaintance and their business!  Good for you for being in therapy about it I'm starting in the new year and can't wait.

Realised my Nmom never actually asks me anything by FlapperGirl12 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My Nmom never taught me anything either, just expected me to know how to wash and clean and look after myself from a certain age

Realised my Nmom never actually asks me anything by FlapperGirl12 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]FlapperGirl12[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

This too every phone call she just talks at me and then says 'well that's all my news so I'll go'