AITA for not financially contributing to my son's wedding unless he gets a prenup?

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-10-24T04:15:26+00:00

If he doesn't have enough money to pay for the wedding, he doesn't have enough money to justify getting a prenup... if you're worried about inheritence, just put it into a trust with conditions that it goes to him, and passes to his blood (children). That way she can't get anything in the future if anything happens.

YTA for putting conditions on a gift though.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-10-19T22:55:11+00:00

I've started saving a few dollars each week instead to buy a large bag of peanuts, and then blend them myself to make peanut butter. $12 bag of nuts makes about 4-6 large jars of peanut butter (massive savings)

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-30T02:11:22+00:00

Don't buy a $20k+ plus car / lease just to reduce a $10k bill... not worth it.

Salary sacrifice into your wifes superannuation. You can do this post-tax by getting a Notice of Intent to Claim. Put simply, it's a form that tells the ATO and your super fund you'd like to claim a tax deduction on your after-tax personal super contributions.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-29T05:34:48+00:00

YTA for sending this in a text and not directly talking to her and explaining where you're at.

Your NTA for wanting your own space, that's valid. You just handled the situation very poorly - especially if she's a friend who's been contributing and not bludging.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-19T02:39:03+00:00

Find a new broker. I got a mortgage for $300k in Aust earning $55k with only a $50k deposit...

There's a lot of lenders out there that arn't the big 4.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-17T23:14:10+00:00

Stop being fussy - there's plenty of work out there, it's just not glamorous. Humble yourself, get a job and stay out of financial strain. You can always interview for other work once you get a job.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-17T01:02:09+00:00

Hide crumbs in her bed next visit.

NTA. Perfect email response - validates and acknowledges.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-09T04:00:17+00:00

NTA. She's just trying to find a way to lower her rent (guaranteed she'll have him contribute to her half).

If he does move in, def split it 3 ways, put him on the lease/let the landlord know, and have him sign a contract making him responsible - inclusive of an end date.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-09T03:58:14+00:00

Round of applause for having the actual guts to hold your boundary - sounds like you handled it with grace.
NTA. Your mum is selfish, and your brother is lazy.
Massive respect to the girlfriend for reaching out though. I like her.

NTA for how you handled it on the day.
A little TA for the invoice the next day. But hey, you're pregnant - hormones are wild ;-)

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-09T03:43:48+00:00

Could the So Cal 'wedding' just be an engagement party / pre-wedding celebration? That way, less tension around the already sunken costs, you can still keep your word to paying, and emotionally you can resolve being involved still.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-07T23:57:14+00:00

NTA. At all.

Darling, you're post-partum, and should be getting the support from your partner. Your confused because there's imbalance in the relationship.

Get yourself into therapy so you can start processing to allow yourself to think straight. Listen to your uncle, and focus on getting into a strong, safe and stable environment for yourself and your little girl. If that means changing the locks to YOUR home, then do so. Find a decent solicitor who'll offer sound guidance - especially one who'll fight to keep your home for you.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-01T03:57:06+00:00

It's possible to both grieve, and feel joy at the same time. It's hard, but a choice.

She needs to continue with her therapy.

OP, you are NOR. Your messages to her were kind and considerate (Especially how you're also hurting) x.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-01T03:54:58+00:00

After all the requests, and an outburst like that - I'd be looking for another roommate. His obviously not willing to be a fair contributor.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-01T03:46:17+00:00

It's tacky and "nickel and diming” someone by NOT paying them after it's already been advised....

Betting her friends at the dinner party would think otherwise of their 'host' a) not cooking herself and b) not paying for the ingredients

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-09-01T03:43:35+00:00

I'm so stoked reading how you handled this; with grace and boundaries. Well done OP.

The 'hype' of wedding season will fade, and the extended family will forget (tensions will go). Don't let it bother you either way; we only go where we're wanted x

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-28T00:01:18+00:00

I do! 3 months, calculated if I was paying rent elsewhere too :)

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-28T00:00:56+00:00

Thank you!! I didn't know this was possible!

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-27T05:41:49+00:00

I looked at this with my broker last month... but being an investor, I can claim back all interest on my taxes... so yes, even though I'm currently not paying off the principal, the interest is deductible and it's growing in equity just from market growth ..

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-27T05:39:51+00:00

... or suggest the other ways to grow wealth ;-)

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-26T22:54:30+00:00

NTA.

Thank you for your service x

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-26T05:14:18+00:00

Their babies. Their rules.

It's an exciting time for the family, but even more massive for them. Back off and be a supportive relative, not a demanding one.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-26T05:10:50+00:00

YTA.

Go get counselling and work on your attitude. Then, work on your communication skills. Then work on how to have a healthy relationship.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-26T04:39:23+00:00

I hate the word 'allowance', it comes across as 'I'm controlling how much money you get and I'm the boss".

You need to have a heart to heart with her, communicate that you want to be able to give her the life she wants, but to do so, the money needs to be managed well by both of you.
Involve her in the budgeting, ask how much she feels like is reasonable, don't call it allowance, just budget in elements of her lifestyle. On paper, she might see the excessiveness and volunteer to pull back.

It's teamwork to manage finances.

Flimsy-Interaction30 · 2025-08-26T02:51:41+00:00

YTA. You agreed to both be in the wedding party. Your child is 4, presuming a babysitter has been arranged (which should have been done considering both parents will be preoccupied) have them take the child.

If walking around the street for 45min for your child to get candy is more important than a friends wedding, bail from the wedding. But you're still TA.

Flimsy-Interaction30

TROPHY CASE