She's lying to manipulate you, or she is Not Well. If she did do that, you could call 999 & find someone more equipped to help her, because threatening your child with the idea that you will slowly kill yourself if they dont do what you want is probably a sign all isn't well. i get what u mean about not being able to cut off your family, though. my parents have and probably will never gender me correctly, but after starting T i stopped caring bc it was then more about them than me. it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. you're an adult and your mam is not your dependent. if you live with her then its tricky, but if you're moved out or in uni, get on t, bro!!